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  1. #11
    Senior Member lauranna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    Forming attachments (romantic) does this to me. I don't know why. I'm wondering if other ISTPs or SPs feel that way when in the beginning stages of attraction/courtship? I feel like my concentration is split and things I normally do easily are harder. I'm just more *aware* of my feelings, I guess and that just annoys me. Like, it's taking up valuable space.

    If this is familiar how do u handle it? If not, tell me I'm weird.

    So I totally get where you are coming from. If I have intense feelings for someone it gets in the way of my general lifestyle and doing stuff. You are right these feelings take up valuable space! And its kind of an unnatural state for us so it makes things difficult! However I don't think that is any reason to stay single forever. I think you need to give this guy a chance because he obviously makes you feel something and as I have discovered, finding someone who can make an ISTP 'feel' is a rare and awesome thing.

    I think it is important to hang onto who you are in a relationship. It is easy to lose parts of yourself in a relationship. I have not long come out of a 3 year relationship with someone I really loved and there are things I have learnt since being single again. Things I would do differently. I can see now that I did lose my mojo at times in the relationship. Having ultimate freedom again is making me feel so alive. I think trying to be responsible and grown up within the relationship took away from my SP spirit, and ultimately what attracted her to me in the first place was not so much there any more.

    So I think it is good that you are recognising loss of mojo at an early stage... now i'm no expert on advice, but I think you need to hang onto your mojo! Still do the things that make you you. Play it cool and remember what makes you feel alive and hang onto it.

    An ISTP losing their mojo is not a good place to be!

  2. #12
    Senior Member lauranna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Duck_of_Death View Post
    Lol...it was done on purpose.
    Everything is sexually-oriented with us SP's.
    true.

  3. #13
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    @lauranna

    Yes! Exactly. I think it's an sx/sp thing. How much to merge how much to retain freedom? Because the thing that sucks about actually liking someone is I *do* want to merge and that sets up the push/pull dynamic. I'm fighting with myself and that's not natural. That's hurting my normally carefree attitude.
    I think I need to be honest about what I want from him. It started as sort of a "yeah I'd f*ck him" thing but when we sat down and conversated I was surprised how similar our views and likes are. I was like, this guy is amazing. I gotta snatch this up. He told me some things that make me feel this is mutual but hes hard to read. Im prolly not better. Supposedly we are going away for this weekend. We'll see if it happens. Oh he took the test with my boss at the shop. He came out ISTx. (50% P 50% J). Said he related more to ISTJ.
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance

  4. #14
    Senior Member lauranna's Avatar
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    @MDP2525
    I knew we were alike. Sadly I don't have the answers, I just have the same problems! Maybe we need someone older and wiser who can help us. It must be the way sx/sp contradicts the ISTP.

    I have felt exactly the same like if i really like someone so much of me wants to merge totally with them and just have our own little world. But i think they have to want it enough to and have enough similar interests for it to work properly.

    Yeah see how the weekend goes... Do you see him as more of an SJ or SP? I have never really been attracted to another ISTP but maybe it would work out well. You could have a fucking awesome life!

  5. #15
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by lauranna View Post
    @MDP2525
    I knew we were alike. Sadly I don't have the answers, I just have the same problems! Maybe we need someone older and wiser who can help us. It must be the way sx/sp contradicts the ISTP.

    I have felt exactly the same like if i really like someone so much of me wants to merge totally with them and just have our own little world. But i think they have to want it enough to and have enough similar interests for it to work properly.

    Yeah see how the weekend goes... Do you see him as more of an SJ or SP? I have never really been attracted to another ISTP but maybe it would work out well. You could have a fucking awesome life!
    Yeah. I'm glad someone else understands that sx/sp thing.

    How do I see him that's hard. He's down the middle.


    I mean. Difference between us is I am much more loose with my goals. Mine are broad. I kind of let life work the details out. He zeros in. He's got a three year plan. I'm much more in my head than he is. More analytical. We share same hobbies and likes. But man, our conversations are pretty amazing. I feel no judgment from him. And I've told him more about my life than both my exes combined. It just feels very natural. We are just different enough to be exciting. Similar enough to work. I think he is more ISTj but not by much.

    Won't count my chickens tho. We will see. I'm spilling this all out here but I keep it close to my chest around him. Safety in anonymity.
    ~luck favors the ready~


    Shameless Self-Promotion:MDP2525's Den and the Start of Motorcycle Maintenance

  6. #16
    Senior Member lauranna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    Yeah. I'm glad someone else understands that sx/sp thing.

    How do I see him that's hard. He's down the middle.


    I mean. Difference between us is I am much more loose with my goals. Mine are broad. I kind of let life work the details out. He zeros in. He's got a three year plan. I'm much more in my head than he is. More analytical. We share same hobbies and likes. But man, our conversations are pretty amazing. I feel no judgment from him. And I've told him more about my life than both my exes combined. It just feels very natural. We are just different enough to be exciting. Similar enough to work. I think he is more ISTj but not by much.

    Won't count my chickens tho. We will see. I'm spilling this all out here but I keep it close to my chest around him. Safety in anonymity.
    yeah agreed. Much easier to spill out anything resembling feelings to complete strangers on the internet.
    He sounds on the istj side you are right... I guess time will tell.
    Good luck with it all. I know how hard it for people like us to find someone who affects us that much. So I hope he turns out to be everything he seems to be now!

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