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  1. #11

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    It is interesting the times when you suddenly focus on the future. I have had periods like that, like a mild panic. You feel like you have got to do something for the future, and it has to be right now. I think as you get older you take on more responsibility, in your case, your parents are getting older and you want the best. I have that and other things but it is the same really. Maybe it is something to do with a fear, or an awareness that your ability to take action is, or could be impeded and you need to do something. I think, and this is something I need to remember too, that there needs to be a balance between this future orientation and your more natural present orientation.

  2. #12
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    @KDude. I get the sense you might be at that point in life ( and knowing a bit about your past demons) if you have overcome them there is this sense of "ok. I did that for what? What's next?" and it can bring you right around to the place mentally that you worked hard to escape and the work you did feels cheapened.

    The realness is you just came out of a shitty situation and you are starting over. Left the old crap behind but now what? You have to find a goal and work toward it. Do something that you find rewarding. Even if it is small and you are unsure of it. You gotta re-learn life in terms of where and who you are NOW.

    You're obviously a fighter and survivor and what's funny about that first knockout round with life is you think because you won one insane round you should be on easy street and its deceitful. Truth is, any fighter has to defend their title and therefore you still have to work at yourself. I had to learn that and it set me back a few years with being stagnant and lost. Also, I was exhausted. It never stops but it gets easier and easier with more experience.
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  3. #13
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    So ... @KDude

    Do you mean to say you are thinking more about the distant future and taking care of your parents.

    And this takes up time and energy you used to devote to Se.

  4. #14
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Istbkleta View Post
    So ... @KDude

    Do you mean to say you are thinking more about the distant future and taking care of your parents.

    And this takes up time and energy you used to devote to Se.
    I haven't been in a heavy Se state for years. For other reasons. I hate getting into the why. I've kind of opened myself up for it, but I don't really want to go there. Besides, I didn't really want this thread to be all about me. I just wanted to hear if people have reassesed how they've approached life. And Se. How they've gone about it productively. I can't be the only one here who lived the first part of their life carelessly or destructively. Like it or not, even Jung calls Se (dominant at least) crude and lacking a solid reflective view. And it's going to trickle to ISPs somewhat.

  5. #15
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    It's all going to be OK.

  6. #16
    Senior Member captain curmudgeon's Avatar
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    Odd, @KDude


    I was just thinking about how these things seem inevitable for me as well. I'm still half-denying that these things will be obstacles though. Fuck having to change who you are to make do.

    Best wishes, and let us know how you continue to cope and change...I'm interested.


    Also, I do have those nihilistic 'everything sucks and is boring and pointless' moments. I just drink a shit-ton of coffee, keep my mind busy, and cross my fingers that it'll pass.
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  7. #17
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    I relate to this. Sometimes I think I have lost the person that I was before and the spark has gone - this has happened more and more as I've gone from 20s to the 30s. Here is a random selection of thoughts based on my experience.

    As for losing nerve, isn't it more a case of losing the will to push yourself? "Can't be bothered" - in those times when I'm not 100% of the person I was. Whereas if you forced yourself, summoned up the will, the nerve would naturally come back along with it. Sometimes the activity needs to be undertaken in order to realise this.

    The tension is wanting to do something to change your situation immediately and not being able to. Often changes of situation are slow-burn things which require lots of patience and this does not come naturally.

    I can get half way back to equilibrium temporarily by doing things, especially physical activities. I find it hard to have faith in the overall shape of an unknown future (of course they're always unknown). I try to anticipate how certain things about that future will gratify me - but again this no substitute for being there.

    Rather than trying to plan how I will get from here to the future, or how I will behave at each important stage along the way, I know from experience that, faced with the actual situation at that future point, I will be able to improvise and get it right most of the time. Trust that you will perform when required, and for the time being, don't think about it. Some people seem to worry today about things that they won't have to face for a long time yet, if ever. I do not. There is no point.

  8. #18
    Senior Member Little_Sticks's Avatar
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    I just want to comment. I know someone like this. He's attempting to join the Navy as a Seal to offset it, despite the fact that he has an engineering degree. He doesn't care anymore and it's something I think he's always wanted to do.

  9. #19
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    Wow. I had one of those years in the sense of realizing it was time to stop just 'living with' the stuff life handed me and start living life after watching one person after the other decide it was normal to let strong personalities that have nothing better to do than mess with and compete with others lead them around by the nose by putting my foot down and saying that I refused to be next.

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