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  1. #1
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    Default Ideas for engaging Se (specifically in an ISFP)

    What sorts of ideas would you recommend for engaging Se, to rekindle a romantic interest? I made a mistake of thinking a smart and quiet ISFP was an INTJ, and tried to engage her Ni....which just made her doom and gloom Fi/Ni loop forever, and totally crumbled an amazing relationship.

    I am just looking for good Se engaging ideas, anything that really pulls you into the moment intensely (and might overcome a falling out of sorts, but not a total falling out).

  2. #2
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    That's bizarro why don't you relate to her as an actual person rather than a particular function user.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
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  3. #3
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frenetic Tranquility View Post
    What sorts of ideas would you recommend for engaging Se, to rekindle a romantic interest? I made a mistake of thinking a smart and quiet ISFP was an INTJ, and tried to engage her Ni....which just made her doom and gloom Fi/Ni loop forever, and totally crumbled an amazing relationship.

    I am just looking for good Se engaging ideas, anything that really pulls you into the moment intensely (and might overcome a falling out of sorts, but not a total falling out).
    Talk about food. Watch cooking shows together.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  4. #4
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    I did (relate to her as a person), specifically to her values. However, that will only build friendship at this point, in my opinion. But she's a type 6 enneagram, and as soon as the focus went off her Se, she started doom and glooming (was also sick with cysts so that didn't help). So I am trying to think of good Se activities to go with my natural Ne charm.

  5. #5
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Help her focus on physical activity that she enjoys. Often isfps enjoy a specific more low key sport or a hike into nature
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  6. #6
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    why don't you tell us what you actually did to make her "doom and gloom", and then we can give you suggestions for how to fix it.

    if you had a "falling out", rollerblading or something isn't magically going to solve that.
    -end of thread-

  7. #7
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    Take her out to a restaurant with great food and atmosphere. Go to the beach or for a bike ride in nature. Go play skee ball together and ride the rides at an amusement park. Do something sexually spontaneous. Go to a history or art museum and talk about tangible things, like works of art or historic events (or culture or costume or etc.)

    Depends on her interests, but any of those are more Se than Ni.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mal+ View Post
    Talk about food. Watch cooking shows together.
    I actually like to do this. And then spontaneously go to the grocery store and buy ingredients for a dinner that night based on something I saw on the show.

  9. #9
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    If she's an ISFP, she'll engage her own Se... and if she likes you, she'll drag you along. Not the other way around.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    If she's an ISFP, she'll engage her own Se... and if she likes you, she'll drag you along. Not the other way around.
    Not necessarily if she's in an Fi/Ni loop and/or he insists on being boring and sitting in a room and talking about physics whenever he's with her.

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