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  1. #1
    Senior Member Pseudo's Avatar
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    Default ESFPs and communicating

    Is it normal for ESFPs to start conversations and then sort of tune out? I have and ESFP friend who was doing this all day today. We were in a group so I'm guessing maybe his Se was in overload? It was like he would start talking to me about something and then when I went to answer his question he'd sort of glaze over or look away. I was afraid I was boring him so I figured I'd just let him do his own thing but 15 minutes would go by and he'd do it again.
    Almost like he would listen when I was talking to some one else and be real attentive then as soon as he had my attention he'd get distracted.

  2. #2
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Hehe, as an ISFP I'm guilty of this sometimes. I know for me it happens when someone is going into massive amounts of details. My husband has a habit of being very lengthy in explanations and sometimes I just glaze over. Once he realizes I've glazed over he just kind of drifts off with what he was saying. I'm not sure if that's the same thing that was going on though.

    Do you pause for a moment before speaking? I can get pretty impatient waiting on my husband to respond sometimes. He'll pause for as long as a minute sometimes before he replies to my question... When he does it I almost always end up repeating my question thinking he didn't hear me or I glaze over and start doing something else.

    I'll be the first to admit that I do have a hard time communicating with some NTs because it seems like they do take a lot longer to respond sometimes and I have a hard time patiently waiting.


  3. #3

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    It happens sometimes. Actually, pretty often. Things need to move back and forth or I'll zone out quick.

  4. #4
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I'm the same way. I'm not even a very talkative person, but I've pissed off some friends for interjecting, putting my input into a convo.. just mixing it up. One said it was overbearing. lol.. but I'm hardly overbearing. I know what that is. He just monologues. I dialogue.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    I'm the same way. I'm not even a very talkative person, but I've pissed off some friends for interjecting, putting my input into a convo.. just mixing it up. One said it was overbearing. lol.. but I'm hardly overbearing. I know what that is. He just monologues. I dialogue.
    I can't believe how much some people can monologue. Can't they sense that people are bored? Or are they just ignoring it.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    I can't believe how much some people can monologue. Can't they sense that people are bored? Or are they just ignoring it.
    My husband is totally oblivious to his monologues. It's usually a good 5-10 minutes before he realizes I've totally zoned out on him. He just gets so into what he's talking about the entire world around him disappears.


  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chaotic Harmony View Post
    My husband is totally oblivious to his monologues. It's usually a good 5-10 minutes before he realizes I've totally zoned out on him. He just gets so into what he's talking about the entire world around him disappears.
    Yeah, I have trouble paying attention. You even need to grab my attention before you start.

  8. #8
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I don't really have trouble paying attention. I guess some just get mad if I interject. I pay attention enough to say "Wait.." or challenge something or offer an anecdote. I guess they want to speak in turns. Which is weird to me.

  9. #9
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    Might have been checking somebody out?
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  10. #10
    my floof is luxury Wind Up Rex's Avatar
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    I have this problem. I'm very attuned to the physical. When Im in a conversation with someone Im not necessarily listening to the words they say, but paying attention to how their body expresses itself. Their gestures, body language, inflection--all these sort of amalgamate into its own mesmerizing expression of what the person really means. It's only when Im talking to someone one on one that I get sorta sucked into the energy of the conversation in quite that way. If I were simply observing someone else interact it's not as intense. I dont know if any of this makes sense, but my point is that with Se conversations are not just intellectual, there's a sensual component as well. To a more sensitive person, all that input can become overwhelming and they might just check out.

    I find that multitasking can short circuit this. I usually pace or stretch when Im on a long phone call. Feeding that sensory input with something (Anything, really.) can be enough to free my mind up to actually give a conversation my full attention.
    And so long as you haven’t experienced this: to die and so to grow,
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