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  1. #11
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    I wonder if my issue is the soft voice and my kindness... Seems so many damn people mistaken that as "OMG, she's flirting with me, she must like me!" Noooo, that's just my normal voice and attitude...


  2. #12
    Member inebriato's Avatar
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    I've been told off for flirting, when I don't think I am at all.
    6w7.

  3. #13
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by inebriato View Post
    I've been told off for flirting, when I don't think I am.
    Yeah, I hate that. I've had that happen a time or two myself.


  4. #14
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Here's a question - interested in what everyone thinks:

    Do people who are "naturally flirty" have the responsibility to tone it down a bit so as not to give others the wrong impression? Or do others have more of the responsibility to not take things so seriously, just accept that the person has a naturally flirty style without being serious...etc?

    I tend to get quite annoyed by people who say "oh gee, all my friends fall in love with me and I don't know why, I guess it's just the way I am." Because I tend to think it's partly an ego trip. But I also realise that others have different interaction styles. I guess being an IxxJ, flirt-impaired even when I want to flirt, and inclined to take it seriously when others flirt with me - it's not surprising this kind of thing would annoy me.
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  5. #15
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Here's a question - interested in what everyone thinks:

    Do people who are "naturally flirty" have the responsibility to tone it down a bit so as not to give others the wrong impression? Or do others have more of the responsibility to not take things so seriously, just accept that the person has a naturally flirty style without being serious...etc?

    I tend to get quite annoyed by people who say "oh gee, all my friends fall in love with me and I don't know why, I guess it's just the way I am." Because I tend to think it's partly an ego trip. But I also realise that others have different interaction styles. I guess being an IxxJ, flirt-impaired even when I want to flirt, and inclined to take it seriously when others flirt with me - it's not surprising this kind of thing would annoy me.
    I have actually tried to tone it down a bit and watch what I say or how I say it... I always feel like it's my fault, even if it wasn't my intention... I can see how they view it as being "lead on."


  6. #16
    Senior Member mcgooglian's Avatar
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    I've had an ESTP girl tell me that I was good at flirting and I just remember thinking "I wasn't flirting. This is how I act around everyone."

  7. #17
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Here's a question - interested in what everyone thinks:

    Do people who are "naturally flirty" have the responsibility to tone it down a bit so as not to give others the wrong impression? Or do others have more of the responsibility to not take things so seriously, just accept that the person has a naturally flirty style without being serious...etc?

    I tend to get quite annoyed by people who say "oh gee, all my friends fall in love with me and I don't know why, I guess it's just the way I am." Because I tend to think it's partly an ego trip. But I also realise that others have different interaction styles. I guess being an IxxJ, flirt-impaired even when I want to flirt, and inclined to take it seriously when others flirt with me - it's not surprising this kind of thing would annoy me.
    Any time there's a miscommunication it's hard to really blame one person - you could see it as both people's faults, or neither. As someone who isn't flirtatious, I tend to see flirty behaviour as more serious than it often is. That can cause me problems so I try to pay attention to whether they're flirty with everyone or just me, and never ever assume someone is interested just because they're flirting. Usually people who are actually interested make it really obvious before too long anyway. If I was naturally flirtatious, I'd imagine that I'd have people reading too much into it and that would be annoying, so I'd probably try to tone it down most of the time or put in some comments that made my disinterest clear.

    I don't think either type of person has a "responsibility" at all, though. It's just part of navigating differences in personality - you can make it easier for yourself if you don't assume everyone is like you and compensate for that, but you aren't really obligated to do so.

    side note: my infj friend is one of the biggest flirters I've ever met! He's not exactly your typical infj, though.
    -end of thread-

  8. #18

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    I don't think I am that good at flirting. I haven't had anyone think I am interested in them when I'm not.

  9. #19
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Here's a question - interested in what everyone thinks:

    Do people who are "naturally flirty" have the responsibility to tone it down a bit so as not to give others the wrong impression? Or do others have more of the responsibility to not take things so seriously, just accept that the person has a naturally flirty style without being serious...etc?

    I tend to get quite annoyed by people who say "oh gee, all my friends fall in love with me and I don't know why, I guess it's just the way I am." Because I tend to think it's partly an ego trip. But I also realise that others have different interaction styles. I guess being an IxxJ, flirt-impaired even when I want to flirt, and inclined to take it seriously when others flirt with me - it's not surprising this kind of thing would annoy me.
    Once a party knows that the other party is interested and it was an unintenional miscommunication they should tone it down. If they don't, that's when the ego trip comes in.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  10. #20
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chaotic Harmony View Post
    I'm not sure if xSTPs would be naturally flirty or not...but I know the ISTP I dated was a flirt, even when he didn't mean to... And I know I've had people tell me I was flirting with someone when I really didn't mean to. So I'm wondering if SPs or maybe just xSFPs tend to come across as flirty, even if that's not our intentions...
    We are naturally charming.
    It's a gift, and it should be embraced.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chaotic Harmony View Post
    I find that I have to watch how I act and what I say around people because they often think I'm flirting. It's caused a lot of problems with my guy friends in the past. I've had two of them think that I was interested in them as more than friends...when in reality it was just fun to hang around them because we shared common interests. And I've had a few girlfriends/wives of male friends that didn't like me because they thought I was trying to steal their man.

    Thoughts?
    Yeah. My thought? Insecure people should shut the fuck up and let well intended assertive people with a sense of humor live their lives in peace.
    Let me know if I need to clarify that; I sometimes talk through the daisies, LOL!

    Quote Originally Posted by TreeBob View Post
    Yeah I suppose Se has a lot to do with that. We take in a lot of sensory data, and for Dom Se people we tend to say what comes to mind.
    THIS!!!

    We SAY what others THINK.
    For that we are either REWARDED or made a PARIAH.

    Quote Originally Posted by StephMC View Post
    I enjoy flirting. But yeah, I'm verrryyy cautious about when/where/who.
    Sissy. Just let it all hang out, you emasculator.

    Quote Originally Posted by Duck_of_Death View Post
    In general, SPs have a distinctive charm/charisma.
    Whether or not it is displayed externally is another thing.
    Well, I'll be the first to plead guilty of having ZERO self control when it comes to letting others know how I feel/what I think about any given phenomena.
    I'm an open book, because I love myself, and I truly don't give a shit what others think of me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Duck_of_Death View Post
    Some are repulsed by it, others are absolutely captivated.
    Death to the repulsers!!!!!

    Bring the captivated ones to me; I will take care of them...



    -Alex

    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    I can't flirt without being asked out. So I don't flirt unless I am attracted to the person. Otherwise, I am now in that person's tractor beam and it's a hell of a time getting away.

    OMG, this is the best response ever. I never would have expected to hear this; it is brutally awesome.
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