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[SP] Faking it as an SP?

lauranna

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Ok so I'm currently on a job and living and working with this woman who I think desperately wants to be an SP.

She comes across as an ISFP i think when you first meet her. She doesn't stop talking about her interest in extreme sports- you name it, she does it all the time. Horse riding, snowboarding, MMA fighting, surfing, Playing with guns. It's like she totally wants to be the ultimate action girl. But when it comes down to it she is just a beginner dabbling in all these sports, so she can talk about them but in reality she has tried them all but isnt much good at any of them.

I had to ride with her the other day for work but when it started heating up and we had to gallop she got scared and didn't want to do it any more so blamed an injury and got off.

At home her room is immaculate and tidy, her clothes are perfectly ordered, her hair make up and nails are always perfectly done. None of this seems SP to me. And she moans all the time about her neck, her ankle, not liking her job etc etc. While trying to be all nicey nice.

Basically I can't figure her out at all. Why fake it? Anything anyone else has done she does it too. Why not just be yourself? I cant figure out what she really is at all. Maybe ISFJ? Maybe infj? Its not even really a personality type thing, I just don't like not knowing what someone is about... I don't like falseness! Is it just me that I can't see through her? The other girls found her really false right from the start but it has taken me weeks to start seeing it.

Any ideas why people behave like this? Why fake your personality and how the hell do you keep it up? Anyone know someone who fakes it?
 

Fluffywolf

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Sounds to me she doesn't like who she is (or doesn't know who she is) and desperately tries to be someone else. Sounds like she has BPD.

As far as her true MBTI, you haven't given a lot of information to make anything more than a wild guess. Plus the fact that she basicly lives outside of her comfort zone makes it that much harder to be conclusive about it. Even her tidyness could very well be a forced behaviour, without her being a judger.
 

Chaotic Harmony

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I guess from the aesthetic point an ISFP could have an incredibly clean house and appearance....but I certainly don't have the motivation to keep my house looking like that all the time. It really only gets super clean when I'm expecting people to be coming over. I'd say she's probably not a happy person so she's taking things to the extreme to seem happy.
 

lauranna

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It is so weird. I wish I could give more details of her but I never know what's real and what is acting. She could be a weird ISFP I guess?
She always seems happy. Weirdly so. She lives in a pink fluffy world with a perfect husband and perfect daughter and fairydust everywhere and is sickeningly nice to everyone. But it doesn't seem real nice. It's over nice. It's fucking weird and I don't trust her.

I think maybe shes an NF. I can't see any other type being so fluffy. Or am I missing something?
 

wolfy

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I am not sure what type she is, but from the way you describe her I wouldn't want to be the one to burst her bubble. Has she claimed a type?
 

Fluffywolf

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It is so weird. I wish I could give more details of her but I never know what's real and what is acting. She could be a weird ISFP I guess?
She always seems happy. Weirdly so. She lives in a pink fluffy world with a perfect husband and perfect daughter and fairydust everywhere and is sickeningly nice to everyone. But it doesn't seem real nice. It's over nice. It's fucking weird and I don't trust her.

I think maybe shes an NF. I can't see any other type being so fluffy. Or am I missing something?

Well, if you think she is acting, then a good way to find out more is to find out why she is acting. Is it because she's projecting ideals onto herself, is it because her environment isn't allowing her to be herself? How is the relationship with her husband, what is his type, would his type have natural friction with a typical ISFP causing her to adjust herself in the relationship? Could it be that her husband is the one with the issues and she's just coping? There are many, many possible reasons for people to behave untruthfully to themselves.

Either way, whatever her deal is, it will remain pure speculation unless you find out the cause or reasons of her behaviour.
 

Chaotic Harmony

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Hmm.... That sounds like my aunt.... She projects that she has this amazingly perfect life and family and everything is so totally perfect.... but it isn't. She always seems super happy and life is wonderful... However, every now and then she slips up and the truth is revealed. That usually happens around holidays when the stress level is high (to present that perfect life) and her kids are wound up and she snaps and starts yelling at them. I'd be curious how perfect her life really is versus how perfect she makes it seem.
 

spirilis

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Could be evidence of Fe in overdrive trying to cover up something.
 

Fluffywolf

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Could be evidence of Fe in overdrive trying to cover up something.

Inferior Fe then, most likely.

But whatever it is, like I said, it's still just speculation. :p
 
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Riva

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Maybe she has a crush on you. I'm considering all possible angles here and is being rather serious.
 

Fluffywolf

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Maybe she has a crush on you. I'm considering all possible angles here and is being rather serious.

Hmm. I don't think that holds much weight. She might at the most see a lifestyle she envies in [MENTION=5111]lauranna[/MENTION], but I don't see any potential of there being a lot of crushing going. Maybe that's just your Ne fantasizing about that possibility. (Not saying that's wrong, because I know I am doing just that right now!)
 
R

Riva

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Hmm. I don't think that holds much weight. She might at the most see a lifestyle she envies in lauranna, but I don't see any potential of there being a lot of crushing going. Maybe that's just your Ne fantasizing about that possibility. (Not saying that's wrong, because I know I am doing just that right now!)

Maybe just maybe she is trying to show Lauranna that they have similar interests? To.......... win her heart?
 

Chaotic Harmony

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When did this turn into fantasizing about a lesbian relationship? :unsure:

I was kind of wondering if she was maybe playing up the act to appear to have more in common with you as well... Have you ever seen how she interacts with others that are of a different type? I'd be curious to see if she acted differently around them.
 

lauranna

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Haha alright [MENTION=6164]Riva[/MENTION] and [MENTION=6643]Fluffywolf[/MENTION] calm your lesbo fantasies. I don't think she has a crush on me. I tend to pick up well when straight women fancy me. It's possible she is trying to emulate my lifestyle I guess but really the only sport we have in common is horse riding. I tried surfing once. I was useless. So maybe her constant horse riding chatter is her trying to impress me? Weird. I don't get her at all and it freaks me out.

As for her perfect husband, I only met him a couple of times but he seems like one of those good looking, a bit simple, quite dull men. I imagine them living this superficial pink fluffy life. He is clearly devoted to her, he is always buying her stuff/ doing sweet things for her. I havent seen enough of him to guess at type- maybe I*F*
 

MXZCCT

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I meet these types of people every now and then. They want to be the "cool guy" or "cool girl" and have that badass vibe, without having to go through what it takes to become the badass.
 

Fluffywolf

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Haha alright Riva and Fluffywolf calm your lesbo fantasies. I don't think she has a crush on me. I tend to pick up well when straight women fancy me.

Party pooper. :dry:

It's possible she is trying to emulate my lifestyle I guess but really the only sport we have in common is horse riding. I tried surfing once. I was useless. So maybe her constant horse riding chatter is her trying to impress me? Weird. I don't get her at all and it freaks me out.

As for her perfect husband, I only met him a couple of times but he seems like one of those good looking, a bit simple, quite dull men. I imagine them living this superficial pink fluffy life. He is clearly devoted to her, he is always buying her stuff/ doing sweet things for her. I havent seen enough of him to guess at type- maybe I*F*

Well, at least it looks like they're a match 'made in heaven'. With all the negative expectancies that come with that. :tongue:
 

Santosha

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The ones that try to hardest to look normal are often the ones with dead bodies in their basement. Just sayen. :D

The two people who I've known to be ridiculously, tooth-rotting sweet were both ENF's. A really imbalanced ENFP and an ENFJ 3w2 whom, to this day at 35 still believes all the worlds a fucking stage. Otoh, the type I've most commonly seen (not in the theory) to hold a dual, saints n sinners lifestyle has been the ISFP. It doesn't make sense with all that Fi, but I think it may be e9 related.. where the person actually gets so pulled by the agenda of others that they almost have a 2nd (or 3rd whatever) personality, that is kept extremely private due to the Fi. I saw this with my dads dad, who in one aspect lived a Mayberry-esque lifestyle. He was very religious and family oriented, paid great attention to his health (diabetic) held many extreme moral positions, and then he'd secretly go down to a local titty bar to drink with some marine friends while he was suppose to be running errands. Another ISFP female had a dual military/stripper existence and yet another was a police records clerk/drug addict. Ah, people and their weird little worlds, it makes me laugh.
 

lauranna

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When did this turn into fantasizing about a lesbian relationship? :unsure:

I was kind of wondering if she was maybe playing up the act to appear to have more in common with you as well... Have you ever seen how she interacts with others that are of a different type? I'd be curious to see if she acted differently around them.

Ok so there are 6 of girls in this house. The others are fairly obvious examples of their types:
ISTJ
ENFP
ESFP
ESFJ
And me and Ms Fairydust.

Now you come to mention it it seems like all her adventures and the like are aimed at me and the esfp. She loves the SPs. The ISTJ doesn't like her and stays out her way. The other ENFP and ESfJ are suspicious of her but I guess she has more normal interactions with them. When she's with them she's either talking about her perfect husband/ life. Or moaning. She seriously moans all the time. Shes hurt her neck and her ankle, sometimes she can barely walk and other times she is fine.

Maybe she is an ENFP? On reflection she talks quite a lot but it all seems quite superficial. Can't figure it out at all.
 

lauranna

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[MENTION=6643]Fluffywolf[/MENTION] and [MENTION=6164]Riva[/MENTION] so Ms Fairydust isnt into me but the ENFP in the house follows me round like a dog and the ESFP I share a room with keeps flirting with me and flashing at me and running round in her undies.
So I've still got it ;-)
 

Orangey

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Sounds like a 2w3, probably ISFJ. I've known people like that...they have fundamental image/identity confusion. For whatever reason (to be loved?) they get so caught up trying to control the image of their personality that they project to the world that they eventually sever all remaining ties to their real personality and become lost in the morass...they create a simulacrum of themselves, essentially. That's why they seem fake but kind of genuine at the same time; fake because the personality they adopt is made-up (and this is usually easy for others to see intuitively...or sometimes even empirically, like in this specific case, since you can't fake physical skills), and genuine because they really do believe that they are their image.

Incidentally, I think it's these types of folks who eat that whole self-help scam shit up, because their psychological make-up (plus some catalyzing insecurity, of course) causes them to automatically sympathize with ideas like, "you can re-invent yourself," or "you are what you wear," or "if you act like a serious person who commands respect, then you will be."
 
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