I have to agree that ISTP's are completely irresistible. I have a major crush on one who I recently started talking to again... we had a thing a long time ago... and it's been about 5 years. The second I set eyes on him again that was about it for me and I became your typical ENFP "Captain Wildchild".... giddy, schoolgirl crush and all. He acted like the typical ISTP: Showing interest for a fleeting moment but once I tried to reciprocate he pulled back again. It's very frustrating. I feel so drawn to him that I keep bugging him and I know it annoyed him. I know I need to back off but I'm just PRAYING that I haven't run him off completely. I'm beginning to think I might actually love him, or that he and I are meant to be. Is that typical or am I just completely nuts? He's the only ISTP I know, and in my field of work it's nearly impossible for me to run into any other ISTP's. I typically work with ENFP's, ENFJ's and INTJ's.
Showing interest for a fleeting moment but once I tried to reciprocate he pulled back again. It's very frustrating. I feel so drawn to him that I keep bugging him and I know it annoyed him. I know I need to back off but I'm just PRAYING that I haven't run him off completely. I'm beginning to think I might actually love him, or that he and I are meant to be. Is that typical or am I just completely nuts? He's the only ISTP I know, and in my field of work it's nearly impossible for me to run into any other ISTP's. I typically work with ENFP's, ENFJ's and INTJ's.
None of this sounds good to me.
eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
AIS Holland code
So i think if an ISTP tells you what they want from you, it may sound basic or way too uncomplicated but it probably is exactly what they want.
I think all i really want from a relationship is space, independence, someone fun to spend time with and do things with.
My husband is very direct and always has been . . . I appreciate that now, but it took some getting used to.
Sex is a purely physical thing to me. And to be honest it is often a game. I like the challenge of getting someone into bed. The more unobtainable the better.(Although it does seem like i am the only ISTP to be saying this!) And then, once i get what i want, i get bored and move on. I would say i can be very predatory and flirty but in a quiet way.
My husband used to say, "When the sex gets boring . . . and it will. . . ." now he says, "I can't believe it's been 8 years and it's still not boring." Maybe you haven't found the right girl yet.
On the other hand if someone pursues me and it is something i haven't decided, i feel very uncomfortable with it.
I've noticed everything has to be his idea! LOL
I realised that she needed sex to be an emotional thing so i tried to pretend that i was emotionally attached at the right moments. I mean i was emotionally attached in my own way but to me, sex wasnt an expression of that.
I think he tried to pretend it was emotional in the beginning, but now he is very emotionally attached during (if not before). Thankfully I'm a lot less emotionally needy than an ENFJ. But it has matured and become something almost spiritual for both of us as corny as that sounds. He's also become very (dare I say) romantic?
So I wouldn't say the ISTP/ENFJ relationship can't work cos it did for me, for 4 years and there were a lot of good things about it. But i guess if you are asking what an ISTP wants from a relationship to keep it going, the answer is- not a lot.
I would say:
No pressures and insistant planning for the future
I would be really interested in how any of you ISTP's that are married cope with it?
It is just something i don't think i could ever do. I don't think i could ever say forever and mean it.
I give my husband a LOT of space . . . but as an INTJ I need a lot myself. He saw that in me before we were married. He likes the fact we can either talk about science, technology, etc. or sit and read together. I don't stress out if he needs time away from the family and neither does he. We always know that we're a good team and neither one of us is interested in going through the bs of dating again.
He tells me he's tempted with other girls but that he honestly feels like our sex is the best he ever had because our relationship is the best he ever had so it becomes easier each year to say no. And he always tells the truth. He can't help it he just doesn't care if it hurts. It is what it is. I think he likes the fact I just accept him for who he is. Also as an INTJ I am constantly evolving my interests and pursuits so he finds it interesting.
Of course we were in our late 30s when we met and got married. We both had been through MANY relationships . . . when you're ready and you find the right girl . . . you'll settle down into a low pressure . . . day by day relationship and LOVE it!
My boyfriend of 3 years is ISTP. Most of my ex's and guys I'm generally attracted to have been ENTJ or INTJs. However, what was refreshing about my boyfriend when I met him was that instead of trying to impress me with how smart and mysterious he was, he was just very thoughtful and genuine. Instead of wanting to argue over a bunch of philosophical b.s., he would come over and fix my car and cook me dinner. lol. He's very smart, but very different from me, and I think as an IN type, it can be really refreshing. I'm done with NTJs. Relationships with my ISTP has been difficult at times because we have such a difficult time understanding each other and our interests are not always similar... I write poetry, he watches UFC, etc. But he is very open minded and supportive and we learn a lot from each other. ISTPs can be the most loyal, genuine people in relationships. It's nice to be with someone you can trust and take at face value. The absence of manipulation makes everything else gravy.
Typical male ISTPs enjoy their partners' participation in their own favorite activities; assert the right to space and time alone (sequestering a private shed or attic when cohabiting); show love and affection through nonverbal, matter-of-fact gestures; and have little patience for the psychological, sociological and theoretical discussions which NFs and NTs are wont to broach.
Oh I have plenty of patience especially for such things. Its just that I don't enjoy the usual one sided introvert disciplines and assertive mind games circle jerking hanky panky fanatics like its some sort of soap opera drama show. "Oh my lordy the ISTP stood up why are we arguing!?" "For f's sake we best be arguing or else what the heck have we been doing all this time except kissing ass and stroking egos!" All that BIRGing and CORFing of factual data just pisses me off for damn sure.
And as for the nonverbal part last time I tried verbally flirting with a woman she called me a ditsy cheerleader and nearly orgasmed out of sheer laughter.
Well... for me, the ISTP impassiveness and silence, combined with their ability to take charge when necessary through physical means, gives the ISTP an aura of confidence and being in control - very attractive traits. The impassiveness and silence means that we (particularly Fs) can project any amount of deep and meaningful thoughts upon you - the Mr Darcy effect!
If you really want to burst that bubble, then do what my ISTP friend did - he told me what he was actually thinking about:
i) his motorbike
ii) why vampires didn't get fat
iii) car accidents