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  1. #11
    Senior Member millerm277's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grayscale View Post
    this sums it up pretty well. i really dont understand the reason behind the things others find admirable of me.

    it's kinda annoying. i just dont get it and nobody seems to care to explain.
    Same here...I have a bit of "luck" with those that I'm interested in, which I can't figure out (not that I'm complaining).
    I-95%, S-84%, T-89%, P-84%

  2. #12
    Senior Member sciski's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grayscale View Post
    this sums it up pretty well. i really dont understand the reason behind the things others find admirable of me.

    it's kinda annoying. i just dont get it and nobody seems to care to explain.
    Well... for me, the ISTP impassiveness and silence, combined with their ability to take charge when necessary through physical means, gives the ISTP an aura of confidence and being in control - very attractive traits. The impassiveness and silence means that we (particularly Fs) can project any amount of deep and meaningful thoughts upon you - the Mr Darcy effect!

    If you really want to burst that bubble, then do what my ISTP friend did - he told me what he was actually thinking about:
    i) his motorbike
    ii) why vampires didn't get fat
    iii) car accidents


  3. #13
    ♪♫♪♫♪♫ luminous beam's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Grayscale View Post
    this sums it up pretty well. i really dont understand the reason behind the things others find admirable of me.

    it's kinda annoying. i just dont get it and nobody seems to care to explain.
    personally, i think that what intrigues an NF about an ISTP is their ability to live their lives very independently (we can live independently, but we long to share ourselves w/others), pursuing their interests and such without really worrying or focusing on others as much as reaching their goals (we wish we could focus w/o our emotions getting in the way most of the time "compromising" things for ourselves at times), they're concrete, realistic, down to earth and practical (the N makes us look into things deeper and at times we miss what's right in front of us) and the fact that they can live their lives in simplicity (without the complications and drama that emotion can cause).


  4. #14
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    Red face i think you're so right, luminous

    Yes, I think an ISTP has a greater sense of freedom than the NFs. ISTPs seem like they can handle a lot of stress/conflict, without taking it so inside of themselves. I envy their calm because I'm always so restless and am attracted to their adventurous side because that physical expenditure of energy helps me burn away my tension/frustration when I engage in it (I mean in the sense of hiking/atving/exercising--completely wish I was capable of casual sex, darn--just can't go there). I've read that ENFJs and ISTPs can be a very good fit--I imagine because of the complementary qualities, but how can ISTP deal with an ENFJ's potential emotional neediness and how can an ENFJ deal with that ISTP independence? Does an ISTP long to share themselves with others? When my ISTP friend does share small aspects of his personality with me very directly, verbally, I receive it as a complement because I don't think he shares that readily with most people. I give very freely of myself to others, but if he's more hesitant, when he does, it feels more meaningful. I know what I get out of my friendship with him, but I feel somewhat unclear about what he gets out of it. I would think I would exhaust him with my energy. I find the relationship fascinating though--I'm learning about all of the qualities I wish I had.

  5. #15
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    I say the same things about ENFJs. Deep inside I kinda scream a little because the ENFJ can be manipulative but not in the sense of controlling like the ESFJ.

    I can see why ENFJ duals well with ISTJs who understands his social role and "rolls" with anything the ENFJ dishes out. I don't roll, I run. However, I grew up with an ISTJ so I can probably hang in there for awhile till this need to "dominate" like an ISTJ would eventually wear off.

    I think it can work out, but I gotta figure out how I can better interact with those ENFJs.

  6. #16
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    I did that to several personality types that I wished I could know more about and respected. I hope you don't see it as superficial as other work discussions you see. The sad thing is that most of the "good convo" that took place may not extend to further contact.

    Quote Originally Posted by htb View Post
    Yes -- they're pretty one-way. Fair warning.

    But I can vouch for seductiveness of the type. A female ISTP was saying goodbyes in her last hour on the job; we spoke for the first time (her having found me intimidating), and perhaps the last, and although ISTPs and I don't jive the exchange was scintillating. Rare and fine.

  7. #17
    Member FrisbeeLad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by grendiecat View Post
    Yes, I think an ISTP has a greater sense of freedom than the NFs. ISTPs seem like they can handle a lot of stress/conflict, without taking it so inside of themselves. I envy their calm because I'm always so restless and am attracted to their adventurous side because that physical expenditure of energy helps me burn away my tension/frustration when I engage in it (I mean in the sense of hiking/atving/exercising--completely wish I was capable of casual sex, darn--just can't go there). I've read that ENFJs and ISTPs can be a very good fit--I imagine because of the complementary qualities, but how can ISTP deal with an ENFJ's potential emotional neediness and how can an ENFJ deal with that ISTP independence? Does an ISTP long to share themselves with others? When my ISTP friend does share small aspects of his personality with me very directly, verbally, I receive it as a complement because I don't think he shares that readily with most people. I give very freely of myself to others, but if he's more hesitant, when he does, it feels more meaningful. I know what I get out of my friendship with him, but I feel somewhat unclear about what he gets out of it. I would think I would exhaust him with my energy. I find the relationship fascinating though--I'm learning about all of the qualities I wish I had.
    Hi,

    This is a good question. I liken the relationship dependence or seeming lack thereof to dogs and cats. Having dated each of the FJ types, which I COMPLETELY DIG in their own ways, and now being married to an INFJ, I feel like the FJ's are dogs. Not in a derogatory sense , but in the sense of dependence. They need people around them. While ISTP's seem more like cats. Independent and aloof, but deep down they too want someone to be near them. Just not necessarily directly interacting with them at all times, but nearby. I think we DO have a need/craving to share our thoughts AND feelings with someone, just not very many people. Literally 1 or maybe 2 folks. It's nice to be able to download your day with someone who generally expresses an interest in hearing it. However, as a general rule, we (ISTPs) do not like to repeat ourselves, so if you missed it the first time, it'll be tough to get us to say it again. Plus, if you missed it the first time, we might take that as a lack of interest in hearing it in the first place.

    I think you should go for it with the ISTP! S/he probably digs the idea of ATVing and active sports. Those are great activities you can share together that the ISTP will love. Note: the FJ's in general teach us how to express our feelings more. That's a major benefit that we get from them. Otherwise, without that help/experience we're a bit clueless in dealing with people's emotions. Plus, FJ's are usually better at organizing events, activities, and the like...which is helpful too.

    My five cents.

  8. #18
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    Default very appreciated five cents frisbee

    i think my istp is disappearing for a few days, going to lay low myself. glad to hear that the istp actually does crave that too--the contact/download. helps me feel grounded like someone gives a crap.

  9. #19
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    Mr. Darcy was INJ, Heathcliff is the great ISTP of literature.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Snowey1210's Avatar
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    From what I've seen ISTPs really need to be actively pursued. Just to get them to do anything requires a lot of persuasion, unless they were already going to do it anyway. I think letting them know straight out is probably the best form of action as they don't seem to go for subtlety. However don't be suprised if their reciprecation is notably underwelming, I'm sure they feel but they don't really show it.
    Good Dog Nigel

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    Arf, arf, upon the lampost bright
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    Nice dog! Goo boy,
    Waggie tail and beg,
    Clever Nigel, jump for joy
    Because we're putting you to sleep at three of the clock, Nigel. -John Lennon
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