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  1. #1
    Junior Member Mertonchavez's Avatar
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    Red face ESTPs are you attracted to INFJs?

    So, the two men in my life that I have fallen for have both been ESTPs. I love their sense of adventure and vivacious energy! They are go getters and enthusiastic and they encourage me, motivate me.

    Do you ESTPs find us interesting, exciting enough? Are you usually attracted to INFJs? Are we too quiet?

  2. #2
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mertonchavez View Post
    So, the two men in my life that I have fallen for have both been ESTPs. I love their sense of adventure and vivacious energy! They are go getters and enthusiastic and they encourage me, motivate me.
    My beautiful, wonderful, intelligent, funny and loving wife is an INFJ.
    We met in 1994.
    We married in 1999.
    We have two wonderful children.

    In my case particularly, I can also tell you the following.
    My high school GF's MBTI type = ENFJ
    My college GF's MBTI type = INFJ
    My Mother's MBTI type = INFJ

    I knew NOTHING about MBTI until all my relations with my prior girlfriends' was over many years.
    My wife and I did not know our MBTI types until 1999.
    My Mom has known hers since 1983 but never mentioned it to me.

    Wanna' hear something else interesting?
    My Dad is an ESTJ.
    My brother is an INTJ.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mertonchavez View Post
    Do you ESTPs find us interesting, exciting enough? Are you usually attracted to INFJs? Are we too quiet?
    Yes, we find you interesting and exciting.
    The quietness of the INFJ is the polar opposite of the intricate complexity and vast considerations they process at any given moment.
    This level of "restraint" is very appealing to us ESTPs.
    I can be the life of the party yapping away all night long.
    My wife can sit quietly as a member of a conversant gathering of people and at the perfect moment say three words and shut the whole conversation down, either in hilarity - or complete shock.
    The dynamic is indeed wondrous, IMHO.



    -Alex
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  3. #3
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    My wife can sit quietly as a member of a conversant gathering of people and at the perfect moment say three words and shut the whole conversation down, either in hilarity - or complete shock.
    Bahaha, I call this the "dropping of the bomb", never underestimate a well-aimed dagger of an introvert.

  4. #4
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    Bahaha, I call this the "dropping of the bomb", never underestimate a well-aimed dagger of an introvert.
    +1!

    Halla's example is an excellent one. Historically, ESTPs and INFJs are supposed to have quite a strong mutual attraction.

    I've realised that I have quite a strong attraction to both ESTPs and ESTJs.
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    I DOORSLAMMING

  5. #5
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    They say estp infj is the second most common "opposite" pair. Estj infp is the most common.
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post

    I've realised that I have quite a strong attraction to both ESTPs and ESTJs.
    I am not at all attracted to ESTJs (too rigid and lack of emotional intelligence) but I love the go-getting, fearless attitude of the ExTPs and their sharp minds.

  7. #7
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    Bahaha, I call this the "dropping of the bomb", never underestimate a well-aimed dagger of an introvert.
    LOL! @ "Dropping The Bomb!" :yim_rolling_on_the_

    Considering I have seen Mrs. Halla do this time and time again over the years, and just as interestingly - that I was able to casually observe you and her talking/communicating with each other last summer - it is impossible for me not to recognize that the general behavioral similarities you both possess equip you perfectly to have such skills. I wish so badly I could pull that off!

    There is something unique and magnificent about an entire crowd of people experiencing mutual shock and discomfort upon the delivery of three words that summarized all the things people have had on their minds for the past hour or so - but no one had the gall to say it out loud.

    I would pay a million for a picture of that if it were possible.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    +1!

    Halla's example is an excellent one. Historically, ESTPs and INFJs are supposed to have quite a strong mutual attraction.

    I've realised that I have quite a strong attraction to both ESTPs and ESTJs.


    Well beyond MBTI, there has got to be something to the concept of "opposites attract."

    If it were not for my wife and I having such similar core values and life goals, our relationship would not have the strength it does - BUT - I think that the way we "go about" trying to implement our core values and achieve our mutual goals, and how we "perceive" each others' efforts doing so - that is the part I think MBTI-specific relationship elements add alot of flair to such a pairing.

    I can't tell you how many times she's seen me do something, and knew damn well what I was doing, and why in the hell I was doing it - but for the love of God had no Earthly idea WHY I did what needed to be done, THE WAY I DID IT; and then I get this hilarious look as she walks off repressing her laughter. Those type of things crack me up; I'll never tire of those moments.

    Quote Originally Posted by UniqueMixture View Post
    They say estp infj is the second most common "opposite" pair. Estj infp is the most common.
    Hey there! I'm not saying you're wrong. I've read that ESTP/INFJ is the most common; and ENTJ/ISFP is the second most common. Just sayin'.
    There's lots of info as such out there.
    It is what it is.

    Regardless of what pedantic academic came up with as their final analysis, we all know that there is enough variance in all aspects of the model overall - that it is the theme of it that matters most, and not the details.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    I am not at all attracted to ESTJs (too rigid and lack of emotional intelligence)...
    I respect and admire my (ESTJ) Father more than any man on Earth, but you are absolutely correct that there is a serious and persistent rigidity to their ways, and a significant lack of interest in the development of emotional intelligence. My Father NEVER asked me "How I was feeling" - he ALWAYS asked me "What was I thinking?" He is a very good man, and not without empathy, but from what I can tell he has not ever significantly considered emotional considerations in any major life decisions we had to live through as a family. We did what was bst for us all when it needed to be done, and that was that. Period.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    ...but I love the go-getting, fearless attitude of the ExTP and their sharp minds.
    I am so honored to be your cousin; and I hope you are aware of the respect and fondness I have for your intellect and life perspective, and the attitude you consistently display in the implementation of your life.

    Regarding my ENTP friends, they are an endless source of joy, inspiration, amusement, and jaw-dropping horror.

    There is a dynamic between an ESTP and an ENTP (who are friends, and know each other, a given in my example) that is literally a living fusion reaction between two mad scientists, one promoting the future's possibilities - and the other herding innocent bystanders to the realization of it all; it is a sight to behold.

    My ENTP friend (Josh) and I would facilitate meetings with between 25-40 attendees, and because he and I kept in synch with each other and ultimately shared the same final solution to the problem at hand, we were able to argue out the details of the plan in front of the attendees by playing devil's advocate over every line item on the agenda, drawing horrendous diagrams on the whiteboard, and then somehow getting everyone to agree that there was only one real solution to the problem, and they were the one's who actually figured it all out while we were "arguing" for 2 hours and they were texting on their Blackberrys...



    THAT - is teamwork.

    Cheers and best regards to all my people,



    -Alex
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  8. #8
    Junior Member Mertonchavez's Avatar
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    Thanks so much for your response! It was very helpful!

  9. #9
    Artisan Conquerer Halla74's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mertonchavez View Post
    Thanks so much for your response! It was very helpful!
    You are very welcome!

    Cheers to you!



    -Alex
    --------------------
    Type Stats:
    MBTI -> (E) 77.14% | (i) 22.86% ; (S) 60% | (n) 40% ; (T) 72.22% | (f) 27.78% ; (P) 51.43% | (j) 48.57%
    BIG 5 -> Extroversion 77% ; Accommodation 60% ; Orderliness 62% ; Emotional Stability 64% ; Open Mindedness 74%

    Quotes:
    "If somebody asks your MBTI type on a first date, run". -Donna Cecilia
    "Enneagram is psychological underpinnings. Cognitive Functions are mental reasoning and perceptional processes. -Sanjuro

  10. #10
    Senior Member UniqueMixture's Avatar
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    @Halla

    Interesting that it is all extx w ixfx I wonder if it fits into the cultural paradigm. Probably extx males ixfx females
    For all that we have done, as a civilization, as individuals, the universe is not stable, and nor is any single thing within it. Stars consume themselves, the universe itself rushes apart, and we ourselves are composed of matter in constant flux. Colonies of cells in temporary alliance, replicating and decaying and housed within, an incandescent cloud of electrical impulses. This is reality, this is self knowledge, and the perception of it will, of course, make you dizzy.

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