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[ISFP] Ask an ISFP

countrygirl

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
722
MBTI Type
ISFJ
I knew an ISFP a long time ago who seemed to have a difficult time putting her feelings/thoughts into words. I felt like I was always trying to pull things out of her. That's why I asked the question.

I see. That's also quite true for me. I also have a hard time writting my thoughts and feelings. So in general forums kinda suck for me. :dry: Funny enough though, PM me and I'll tell you my life story. :laugh:

Sometimes it just that I have nothing to say. I really don't like small talk.
 

countrygirl

New member
Joined
Jan 7, 2009
Messages
722
MBTI Type
ISFJ
From what I have observed, it can be very hard for IXXP to put thoughts into words. I think the SPs are less inclined to even feel the need to do this, so it is good to focus in on their (often subtle) actions. I had to explain to my ISFP son that even though he is often aware of people's moods and feelings, not everyone is like this and encourage him to take some steps to communicate things in words.

That is such excellent advice. I often find myself answering my children in my head but forget to articulate it out loud. Especially when I'm doing two things (or more) at once. It really suck because I don't frequently articulate how how much I love them or give them praise when appropriate.
 

Chaotic Harmony

New member
Joined
Jul 13, 2009
Messages
1,436
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sx
Do any of you have a similar lack of patience for boring pointless small talk?

I hate small talk, but at the same time I hate that uncomfortable silence where I'm just staring at another person or looking around the room.

*must remember to bring Kindle Fire with me everywhere I go*

I remember when we hired on our new tech, everyone was in a meeting when he got done with HR...so he had to sit in my office while they finished up.... And... it was either continue to work and try and ignore the guy sitting in the chairs directly across from me...or try and make small talk... I ended up sucking it up and making small talk, which wasn't too bad. We actually clicked fairly well, and now we talk frequently at work. Thank God it wasn't totally awkward... I hate when cashiers make small talk... Just ring up my stuff so I can go! :dry:
 

Kayness

Bunnies & Rainbow Socks
Joined
Jun 22, 2012
Messages
347
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Do you enjoy reading? If so, what types of stuff?
Yes! Mostly high fantasy, especially R.A. Salvatore's Drizzt series. To Kill A Mockingbird, Wilde, The Iliad, the Thai adaptation of Ramayana. I also like the novel adaptations of Blizzard games. Of course right now I like to read R&H Enneagram books and Jung.

When things aren't harmonious in a sensory way does it easily annoy you? For example, a note is sung off key, the colors don't quite match, there is a stain on the carpet, etc.
Sometimes, but not what you mentioned though. I hate when art supplies, like, say, tubes of paint or coloured pencils are NOT arranged in a chromatic order in the box, and I have this compulsive need to rearrange them so that they are.

Did you initially self-type as ISFP or was it a bit of trial and error until you arrived at ISFP? I ask because I've read that alot of SP types will mistype as N's since the S questions seem more SJ than SP oriented.
I initially self-typed as ISFP. though there have been people who try to convince me otherwise :D
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
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Jun 7, 2008
Messages
6,743
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ESFP
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7w6
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sx
Small talk doesn't usually bother me, but I hate gossip and celebrity talk, so I get tired of that crap really fast if that's somebody's idea of small talk. Talking about stuff that's going on with your family or friends that's informative and we can share similar experiences is fine, but when it becomes "OMG did you see the dress Actress X wore to the Emmy's? What was she thinking? Like total barf! My sister wears those same kinds of tacky dresses and....." yeah that makes me want to punch you and throw you down a garbage disposal. :cheese:
 

Chaotic Harmony

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Jul 13, 2009
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1,436
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ENFP
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9w1
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sx
Are you (an isfp) into art?

Definitely. I've got several paintings in my house that either I have painted or my mom painted. I'm also into photography, I consider that a form of art... And I'm pretty crafty in general. :)
 

citizen cane

ornery ornithologist
Joined
Apr 30, 2010
Messages
3,854
MBTI Type
BIRD
Enneagram
631
Instinctual Variant
sp
Small talk doesn't usually bother me, but I hate gossip and celebrity talk, so I get tired of that crap really fast if that's somebody's idea of small talk. Talking about stuff that's going on with your family or friends that's informative and we can share similar experiences is fine, but when it becomes "OMG did you see the dress Actress X wore to the Emmy's? What was she thinking? Like total barf! My sister wears those same kinds of tacky dresses and....." yeah that makes me want to punch you and throw you down a garbage disposal. :cheese:

Exactly. I also hate when someone's idea of small talk is ALWAYS to give you a rundown of the more interesting points of their workday. Try something different once in a while, for god's sake. I'm probably much more guilty of this than I care to acknowledge...oh well.
 

citizen cane

ornery ornithologist
Joined
Apr 30, 2010
Messages
3,854
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BIRD
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sp
Are you (an isfp) into art?

'Art'* as most people think of it isn't something I'm particularly into, but I can certainly appreciate it. I much prefer good quality food, a good drink, a good book, or perhaps good music. And also good company, can't forget that. Art just doesn't seem to have that certain connection and directness of experience I want to enjoy in a given activity.






*In this context, I am speaking mainly of fine arts and such- painting. photography, crafts, etc.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
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6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
From what I have observed, it can be very hard for IXXP to put thoughts into words.
I think the SPs are less inclined to even feel the need to do this, so it is good to focus in on their (often subtle) actions.

That makes it ironic that there are so many famous authors, presidents, and entertainers that are SPs then. :dry:

I DO NOT abide by this "SPs are not articulate" stance, as even Keirsey doesn't argue that - to the contrary he points out all of the great orators and poets and politicians that are SPs in PUMII.

I don't know where this comes from, other than the possibility that SPs do tend to value action, and may feel like they are weak or something if they do not act, somehow, in some way.

People use Se differently, and sure, SPs who are best at athletics or something very physical that they've poured their Se into may not be so articulate. But I know an ISTJ who has a very difficult time putting his feelings and thoughts into words, but when he really thinks about things, he comes up with some of the most hilarious one-liners.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
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May 3, 2009
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sx
I hate small talk, but at the same time I hate that uncomfortable silence where I'm just staring at another person or looking around the room.

*must remember to bring Kindle Fire with me everywhere I go*

This is why I carry books wherever I go. I've been known to put a book physically over my face, to tell people "um, excuse me I'm reading" and I even WENT OFF on someone once who kept asking me about what I was reading. I think to myself "how is it that people see someone reading, and see that as an invitation to SPEAK to a stranger or acquaintence?"

I can be quite chatty when I'm in the mood with friends, and I consistently express myself in writing, but I almost feel hostile toward people who try to start small talk with me sometimes.

I also hate being told to "smile" by strangers, particularly if they are men.
 

Thalassa

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I knew an ISFP a long time ago who seemed to have a difficult time putting her feelings/thoughts into words. I felt like I was always trying to pull things out of her. That's why I asked the question.

Is it possible that she just didn't want to talk to you?

I don't know if people mistake people with social anxiety as ISFPs, or if they mistake people not wanting to talk to them or not being in the mood to chat as "a difficult time putting thoughts and feelings into words."

I am not arguing that this is the case, but believe it or not, Marm is the same way with some people. I will even cut people off sometimes when they're trying to dig stuff out of me, I'll literally just walk away, or be like "I don't feel like talking" or act really preoccupied with a book, computer, what I'm working on cooking or whatever.
 

Thalassa

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Do you enjoy reading? If so, what types of stuff?

History, psychology, paranormal, political non-fiction and biographies about people who lived exciting lives.

When I read fiction it tended to be a lot of horror when I was a kid, but I also like 19th and early 20th century literature, I like a lot of the Modern American lit and Russian Realism.

I hate science-fiction and fantasy. I also only like romance novels when there's a more openly erotic element, or a greater plot aside from it.

When things aren't harmonious in a sensory way does it easily annoy you? For example, a note is sung off key, the colors don't quite match, there is a stain on the carpet, etc.

I can't work somewhere that is ugly, I get depressed. I hate extremely noisy places, like where there is "noise pollution" like an annoying television show. I sleep with ear plugs because my hearing is so sensitive. I either sleep in total darkness or with a sheet or mask over my eyes because of light sensitivity. My mood is very much affected by my sensory surroundings.

Did you initially self-type as ISFP or was it a bit of trial and error until you arrived at ISFP? I ask because I've read that alot of SP types will mistype as N's since the S questions seem more SJ than SP oriented.

More questions to come later.

Yes I thought I was an NFP.
 

highlander

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Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
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6w5
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sx/sp
Is it possible that she just didn't want to talk to you?

I don't know if people mistake people with social anxiety as ISFPs, or if they mistake people not wanting to talk to them or not being in the mood to chat as "a difficult time putting thoughts and feelings into words."

I am not arguing that this is the case, but believe it or not, Marm is the same way with some people. I will even cut people off sometimes when they're trying to dig stuff out of me, I'll literally just walk away, or be like "I don't feel like talking" or act really preoccupied with a book, computer, what I'm working on cooking or whatever.

Maybe she didnt want to talk to me. It was a long term relationship. On the one hand, we were very close. However, I wanted her to be more open and direct in terms of verbal comminication. I wanted her to tell me how she felt or thought about things. She probably got tired of me asking for her opinions and ideas or blathering on about whatever I was thinking about at the moment.
 

Thalassa

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Maybe she didnt want to talk to me. It was a long term relationship. On the one hand, we were very close. However, I wanted her to be more open and direct in terms of verbal comminication. I wanted her to tell me how she felt or thought about things. She probably got tired of me asking for her opinions and ideas or blathering on about whatever I was thinking about at the moment.

Oh it was a LTR. Maybe she really did have a problem with articulation, then. Some people do, for various reasons. Some people just aren't very verbal, and others are quite articulate yet they don't like to talk about their feelings, or may not enjoy expressing their opinions.

Maybe she was an E9. The ISTJ I mentioned in another post up there who has issues with this (that he openly has talked about, I talked to him constantly, the problem wasn't talking, but for him to open up or to talk about feelings and that sort of stuff, and he admitted he doesn't like it and prefers to express things through music, loyalty, actions, etc.)

I can see where IxFP E9s may potentially be the most indirect people on earth, if she didn't even explain to you whether or why for she didn't want to talk about something, or didn't say it just wasn't her way.
 

Eugene Watson VIII

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Jun 22, 2012
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Are ISFPs more like INFPs? Or ESFPs? Why/why not? Do you like beer?
 
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