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  1. #11
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    Sensitivity to criticism - May be very sensitive to criticism and see criticism where none was intended. May even take the fact that another person has a different point of view as criticism.
    Well I'd say that if someone strikes a sensitive spot in my psyche and it comes off as an attack of some sorts, then I'd say I get sensitive. A lot of the time criticism in this way is needless and totally nonconstructive. If someone tries to give me a new idea about a way of doing something I appreciate that. But if someone just says "you're doing this wrong" then it's basically pointless. Sure I'll be sensitive to it, but not only that, I will also disregard what they've said. If they don't understand me/the way that I do things, then their advice will be null.

    A lot of this I think correlates to FiSe, if I have a way of doing things and someone has a different way of doing it and it conflicts, then I may bring it up to see if I can refine what I'm doing in that moment. If it's not constructive and it's negative in nature, then I may perceive that as criticism.

    If someone critiques something I'm doing, say my boss whom I care about a lot, and I know that they do it because they care, then that's fine. It's all about intentions.

    In their own world - Because of their dominant Fi, ISFPs may value their feelings and opinions far more than others.
    Generally, yes. If I care for you and your opinion then I will value your feelings and opinions; but other than that I need a reason to look to care about others' opinions and feelings.

    The are prone to taking in information that only supports their personal opinions.
    Mm maybe. I look for any kind of information really. I see what having an attitude like this does to people, and what it's done to me in a few very indirect way; and it's destructive at best. It made me less open minded when I was basically looking for confirmation bias (not intellectually or anything, in a more feeling oriented part of life) in the people realm: relationships, friendships, etc. I only wanted to see what already supported what I already believed about people. This got me into a lot of shit and I've taken on a more laid back, open minded POV toward people. I tend to be pretty judgmental of people that I perceive as being "normal" but in these past years I've realize no one is truly normal, that is just a jaded lens that they try to force on their own life and try to force others to see. I used to idealize situations with people a lot, but now I've taken on a more I guess objective, detached view along with my normal POV to try to be as clear as possible.

    I think that the better way of looking at things is to try to get as much information as possible to formulate and refine your own opinions. It boils down to developing and honing Se while letting Ni be a thorn in it's side.

    They can ignore the feelings, perspectives and point of view of others.
    If this person is perceived as stupid and close minded, then yes, without a question. But I'm always trying to learn about people in general. I always try to figure out what makes others tick in terms of perspectives. Sometimes it just doesn't line up with what makes sense to me, and then I may judge a bit in that way.

    They may also be unaware of how their behavior affects others. Taken to an extreme, this combination of behaviors can lead others to perceive them as unrealistic, selfish, or eccentric.
    Yes. I used to be totally socially unaware, going back and reading old IMs and emails from when I was 13 makes me facepalm. Some of my social decisions were pretty bad. But in general I am pretty unaware, and I can take on a behavioral self check with the people that I perceive as mattering. (This is more about respecting their opinions and such, if anything with people that matter I believe in being myself to the fullest so that I'm not lying to them. I check to make sure that they are respecting me and that I am respecting them. Other's ideas are beautiful and have the potential to change you in the best ways possible, and that is always something that has to be considered.) But when it comes to the general public I just honestly don't give a shit, or with people who I don't honestly see as having much substance to me.

    I'm pretty sure some people perceive me as selfish in that I try to do my own thing a lot, and I definitely am perceived as eccentric by almost everyone that I meet, that's become just a fact of life. I have no bad intentions, I just believe in fairness and having as little attached strings as possible in order to maintain said fairness; and sometimes when I try to enforce this I may appear selfish. But I do actually have other people in mind; think the golden rule.

    Quote Originally Posted by mia_infp View Post
    One issue that hasn't been mentioned that sometimes is levied against ISFPs in general is the potential for aesthetic/sensory snobbery and materialism. This particular ISFP is very much a snob and overly focused in these regards. She places very high value on material goods. She would see it as having refined taste. Which is true in one sense, but it is also largely directed by her environment and peers and perceived sense of status, rather than a pure innate sophistication or appreciation for the item itself, even though I know ISFPs do have fine senses. I appreciate the finer things, but it gets a little eye-roll-y in the room when one suffers elitist, askance "omg - like, I can't believe she will drink that/wear that" looks from what is essentially a glorified label ho (she'll wear anything and everything with a label, just because it has a label).
    This person sounds like a social first in the enneagram... as I completely do not understand this attitude. It's more practical to wear clothing that's comfortable. Most clothes I like are cheap and I get them because of the personal significance, like a band shirt or a shirt about some other kind of media that I like (like I have a couple of Mass Effect shirts). I wear clothes more to give someone a representation of who I am. I think that the end result is the same, for representing who we are, but then everything other than that is based on other factors. I would HATE to wear a brand name because it would make me appear like other people, and anyone that I see wearing brands I almost instantly lose some respect for on the surface because all I can think about is "Well they want to represent themselves through a brand, and they spent way too much money on that. So they are both impractical and not even trying to be an individual, external things are obviously more important to them than more important internal things."
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  2. #12
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    What about pent up anger?

    My son has been through a bad time. He's disillusioned with his dad (we recently got a divorce) and experiencing a lot of anger toward him. He doesn't really express this toward his dad beyond sarcastic humor and passive-aggressive moments of "I forgot" when his dad requests something of him. It's kinda against his code not to be nice, even if when doesn't particularly like someone. He will talk to me here and there. I know he's angry, hurt, etc. He doesn't go into depth. I told him I'm here if he wants to talk and that I will do whatever I can to make sure we all get through this together. He seems like he has lost his way and what little motivation he had to get things done (which I can definitely understand). I feel at a loss to help him, though. Right now, I'm just trying to be patient and supportive. Anymore suggestions?

    Oh and thank you.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    What about pent up anger?

    My son has been through a bad time. He's disillusioned with his dad (we recently got a divorce) and experiencing a lot of anger toward him. He doesn't really express this toward his dad beyond sarcastic humor and passive-aggressive moments of "I forgot" when his dad requests something of him. He will talk to me here and there. I know he's angry, hurt, etc. He doesn't go into depth. I told him I'm here if he wants to talk and that I will do whatever I can to make sure we all get through this together. He seems like he has lost his way and what little motivation he had to get things done (which I can definitely understand). I feel at a loss to help him, though. Right now, I'm just trying to be patient and supportive. Anymore suggestions?
    He sounds like an Enneagram 9. They have a strong relationship with anger, but don't feel comfortable with it, and their defense mechanism is to avoid, avoid, avoid and become excessively passive.

  4. #14
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    He sounds like an Enneagram 9. They have a strong relationship with anger, but don't feel comfortable with it, and their defense mechanism is to avoid, avoid, avoid and become excessively passive.
    Spot on. He is with an 8 wing.

  5. #15
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    Spot on. He is with an 8 wing.
    I am a 9w8 sx/sp and an ISFP, and my suggestion to you is to give him his space and let him find things out on his own. Whenever people try to steer me into looking at things a certain way I get very stubborn in situations like that. If he's like me then he would probably rather talk to his friends about it than anyone directly involved and sort it out on his own that way. Distance may be ideal in this situation I'd say. I would have to know more about the situation to understand and contribute more (you can always PM me if you'd like ).
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

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  6. #16
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    I would have to know more about the situation to understand and contribute more (you can always PM me if you'd like ).
    PM in your box. Thanks!

  7. #17
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    What would cause an ISFP to have low self esteem?

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  8. #18
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Sensitivity to criticism - May be very sensitive to criticism and see criticism where none was intended. May even take the fact that another person has a different point of view as criticism.
    The first half of this... yes... I've definitely seen some of my mom's comments as a personal attack, even though she never even intended them as criticism. The second half of this...doesn't fit me at all... I'm probably the most open person in my circle. I can appreciate when someone has a viewpoint that differs from mine. The only thing I don't like is when I'm called stupid for having the viewpoint I do.

    In their own world - Because of their dominant Fi, ISFPs may value their feelings and opinions far more than others. The are prone to taking in information that only supports their personal opinions. They can ignore the feelings, perspectives and point of view of others. They may also be unaware of how their behavior affects others. Taken to an extreme, this combination of behaviors can lead others to perceive them as unrealistic, selfish, or eccentric.
    Eh... I can't really relate to this at all. I've jumped on my dad numerous times for making statements to my mom that hurt her (when he just meant it in a joking way). I'm also very aware of how my behavior affects others...

    In regards to this statement... I think the reason I can't relate to it is because of the environment I grew up in... So perhaps if I hadn't grown to recognize how my actions affected others this would fit me.

    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    What would cause an ISFP to have low self esteem?
    I battled self esteem issues for a long time. The majority of my issues stemmed from being put down a lot. It was hard for me to believe anyone who told me I was pretty, smart, etc because of all the bullies that had told me I was ugly, dumb, etc. For some reason, negative comments stuck with me more than the positive comments did.


  9. #19
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    What would cause an ISFP to have low self esteem?
    Not being appreciated for our creative endeavors. Seeing ourselves as boring or not impacting anyone.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

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  10. #20
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    Not being appreciated for our creative endeavors. Seeing ourselves as boring or not impacting anyone.
    This is good.

    So let's say you have an ISFP that in their writing of emails, continually mentions that what they are writing is boring. Why would they do that or think that?

    As far as not impacting anyone is concerned - that's really interesting. Can you elaborate on this?

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