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  1. #31
    Senior Member Mal12345's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I'm actually the same way. I hate talking science fiction, typically, unless it's something very specific. I would much rather talk about Family Guy than science fiction, too.
    I only know one person who has a way of working into a conversation about anything. He'll be all interested and - well - chameleonlike, I guess. But most of us would rather not. I don't like football chatter. Football's okay but I'm just not into it right now. I might ask a really dumb question such as "what's a dimeback?"

    But what I'm talking about is just the opposite of chameleonlike, it's more of a brick-wall-of-silence approach to an uninteresting convo. This may be followed by an attempt to divert attention back toward a more interesting topic.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I'd also rather talk about early 20th century literature than football.

    I can't stand being held hostage by this old man who I love to death (really, I do love him to death, I even call him grandpa) because he'll go on and on about things like spaceships and the illuminati and Hyperborea.

    The problem there, for me, are topics that make me roll my eyes. Like seriously, I want the fuck away. But I can talk on and on about people's personal life experiences, for example...I think everyone's like that to some degree.
    I think we all know someone who believes the government is building UFOs, or something.

    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    My ESFJ ex even used to say "why do girls always want to tell you about their cousin and their uncle and their childhood?" I wonder how many of his exes were SFP females.
    I don't know that it's strictly a girl thing. But I call it "gossip." My dad was certainly into it.
    "Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth." Mike Tyson
    “Culture?” says Paul McCartney. “This isn't culture. It's just a good laugh.”

  2. #32
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    No its not gossip to speak of my own life experience and family, which is what my ex meant. Dude is an ESFJ. He liked to gossip about celebrities and talk shit about his frenemies. He just didn't understand rambling on with personal introspection about my own life in the casual way I can tend to go on about such things. But apparently other gf's of his also did the same.

  3. #33
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    No its not gossip to speak of my own life experience and family, which is what my ex meant. Dude is an ESFJ. He liked to gossip about celebrities and talk shit about his frenemies. He just didn't understand rambling on with personal introspection about my own life in the casual way I can tend to go on about such things. But apparently other gf's of his also did the same.
    in my experience, men are worse about this sort of thing than women
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  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    in my experience, men are worse about this sort of thing than women
    I don't know that it has anything to do with sex or gender. Maybe more like personality. Maybe its how dom Fe sees Fi: talking of the self and one's own life in too introspective of a manner. My ESFJ ex and JTG sometimes remind me of one another, except JTG is saner, more conservative, more introverted, and less emo. Their SJ-ness was so apparent bc of their need for routine, familiarity, loyalty, fear of change, sense of duty to their mommies, consistent "availability;" love of making others feel uncomfortable for being whatever they deem abnormal, and even their sense of highly developed aesthetics and snobbery about their own "taste." another thing was being very nostalgically attached to media from their childhoods, yet being puzzled by the way I story-tell my life in a relatively casual manner. What @mal said about his ISFP wife made sense to me "what goes in must come out."

  5. #35
    Senior Member prplchknz's Avatar
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    I have the bad habit of doing the monologue thing. and i can see the other person getting annoyed yet i can't stop myself.
    In no likes experiment.

    that is all

    i dunno what else to say so

  6. #36
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    I don't know that it has anything to do with sex or gender. Maybe more like personality. Maybe its how dom Fe sees Fi: talking of the self and one's own life in too introspective of a manner. My ESFJ ex and JTG sometimes remind me of one another, except JTG is saner, more conservative, more introverted, and less emo. Their SJ-ness was so apparent bc of their need for routine, familiarity, loyalty, fear of change, sense of duty to their mommies, consistent "availability;" love of making others feel uncomfortable for being whatever they deem abnormal, and even their sense of highly developed aesthetics and snobbery about their own "taste." another thing was being very nostalgically attached to media from their childhoods, yet being puzzled by the way I story-tell my life in a relatively casual manner. What @mal said about his ISFP wife made sense to me "what goes in must come out."
    I think it does have to do with gender some of the time. for men, gossip is a passive aggressive means of gaining social dominance by tearing down others in the group while they aren't around. it's not something all men do, but it's disturbingly common (and pathetic)
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  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elfboy View Post
    I think it does have to do with gender some of the time. for men, gossip is a passive aggressive means of gaining social dominance by tearing down others in the group while they aren't around. it's not something all men do, but it's disturbingly common (and pathetic)
    oh you mean hating via gossip... I thought you meant talking about one's own life

  8. #38
    Certified Sausage Smoker Elfboy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    oh you mean hating via gossip... I thought you meant talking about one's own life
    female hate gossip is primarily venting; male hate gossip is much more deliberate and malicious
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  9. #39
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    I was looking for your blog, (aka stalking you) and found this thread... This sounds like some small minded Fi/Si.. possibly infp in a loop. I think of isfp Se being a bit more socially aware... That or she just never has much going on.
    06/13 10:51:03 five sounds: you!!!
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  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Saturned View Post
    1- 90% of her talking is a monologue... there is no back and forth discussion/conversation/etc. It's just her talking about basically nothing. Most of what she talks about is her recanting conversations she has with other people... 99% of them people I have never met and will never meet.

    2- There is no point to what she is talking about... It's like she talks just to say something. She has ADHD so that could be part of it. I try to follow what she is saying and figure out what the point of it all is, and I realize that there is no point. Which leaves me, if you can imagine it, with nothing to say in response. I just look at her blankly.

    3- We went out with a small group of my girlfriends this weekend for dinner and karaoke. One of the girls was chatting with her to get to know her and instead of answering her questions, the ISFP was just telling her things like: my dad bought a new 8 foot Tv, my sister bought a $65000 car, my coworker said this to me, etc.

    4- She constantly wants to talk about highschool and people we knew in highschool and "oh remember when this happened?" And I just don't care about highschool. I am ok with the fact that our lives don't have much in common with each other's right now. I am happy to learn from what she is doing and vice versa.
    I agree with @shortnsweet that these traits seem more Si than Se since they are more about repetition than awareness.

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