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  1. #1
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    Default ESTP with immature Fe?

    I recently got a new colleague. This guy is definitely an EST. What makes me pretty sure of him being a P is his use of Fe which is also why I am writing this.

    We are both engineers. We have some difficulties following each others thoughts due to the S/N difference but that's really not a problem. What bothers me is what I would suspect to be immature Fe.

    We have our clashes due to him not following my Ni reasoning. Sometimes, I get a little picky about that but as far as I get it, I am not doing anything that I should try not to do. The problem is that he often reacts to my sarcasm with efforts to build harmony between the two of us. I mean he is not getting angry because of me but instead, he actively seeks to solve a problem that doesn't really exist. He tries to calm me down with Fe reasoning when the easiest way to deal with the situation would be to just dismiss whatever I said and to stick with solving the original problem.

    My intuition tells me that this is not about me but rather about his Fe being immature. I think I know what I am talking about as I have had similar problems with my tertiary Fi making me too eager to prove my sincerity and honesty every now and then.

    I would appreciate any tips you might have for dealing with this but first and foremost, I'd like to know if this really is about immature Fe or something else.
    INTJ, HSP, 1w9 or tritype 154, sx/sp

  2. #2
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Oct 2008
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    6w5 sx/sp
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    Quote Originally Posted by gandalf View Post
    The problem is that he often reacts to my sarcasm with efforts to build harmony between the two of us. I mean he is not getting angry because of me but instead, he actively seeks to solve a problem that doesn't really exist.
    Have you thought to curb your sarcasm for the sake of getting the job done? Since that seems to be what derails both your efforts? At least, explain to him that your sarcasm is your way of humor and not a way to point out flaws that need to be fixed. See what happens.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  3. #3
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by gandalf View Post
    I recently got a new colleague. This guy is definitely an EST. What makes me pretty sure of him being a P is his use of Fe which is also why I am writing this.

    We are both engineers. We have some difficulties following each others thoughts due to the S/N difference but that's really not a problem. What bothers me is what I would suspect to be immature Fe.

    We have our clashes due to him not following my Ni reasoning. Sometimes, I get a little picky about that but as far as I get it, I am not doing anything that I should try not to do. The problem is that he often reacts to my sarcasm with efforts to build harmony between the two of us. I mean he is not getting angry because of me but instead, he actively seeks to solve a problem that doesn't really exist. He tries to calm me down with Fe reasoning when the easiest way to deal with the situation would be to just dismiss whatever I said and to stick with solving the original problem.

    My intuition tells me that this is not about me but rather about his Fe being immature. I think I know what I am talking about as I have had similar problems with my tertiary Fi making me too eager to prove my sincerity and honesty every now and then.

    I would appreciate any tips you might have for dealing with this but first and foremost, I'd like to know if this really is about immature Fe or something else.
    LMAO at the bolded.

    Thats not immature Fe...thats just Strong Fe. Its other areas he needs help on as apparently his Fe is strong.

    Tips for dealing with it is to "own" your sarcasm...any other way would be making him deal with it. Or if you can both talk about it then try that route...but being that he doesnt get your Ni, I dont know how well that would work as it would just go back to solving a problem that doesnt exist that you came on here about to try and fix
    Im out, its been fun

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