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  1. #51
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    7 hours

    Et voilà!

    In some sense I request your forgiveness Vaslisa, as I am uncertain of many details that may have transpired, as I dont frequent the forum as often as I used to. I know you to be a very caring, considerate person, so I suspect there is much information that I am lacking or have missed that has made you very frustrated with Marm over time. I respect that frustration and I do not mean to imply it is invalid in anyway. As i noted, Marm was not being kind in some of her later exchanges and using her ability to see through people as a defensive tool to inflict hurt on them...

    If I was to describe Marm and her page, it just strikes me as an enfp in hyper defensive mode. We tends towards hyper sensitivity, are easily provoked, and overreact when targeted, given the Ne tendency towards extrapolation and generalization. Once in a hyper reactive state, continual provocation becomes an attack upon one's core self and we refuse to back down and tolerate what we percieve to be bullying or maliciousness attacks by others. The response you might observe would be one of constant viligence and "punching" back, when others poke at us. Our punches will end to be extremely direct, while the provocation on the part of others is often much more subtle.

    Likely the best reponse for a mixed social setting such as this is to walk away, cutting all ties with people we have befriended or care for, but it just feels wrong inside, so there will be attempts to stick it out and just ignore the hurt feelings-by putting up a tougher and tougher front to push those who hurt us away, to stand strong in our boundaries. (Ha, it is the opposite of an INFJ doorslam oddly). I note that once an enfp enters this hyper defensive state, they tend to become the center of a great deal of judgement and the external provocation increases almost exponetially (like vultures after fresh roadkill?) until things reach an emotional boiling point. I do not know why, but I suspect it is regarded as the enfp "being mean" combined with being "overly emotional" and the thought it that they should be called out for rudeness, which just escalates the situation.

    I have met Marm and I know her to be very sweet and quite witty in real life, but obviously she felt pressured to take a very defensive (and thus offensive) stance towards her later forum interactions, resulting a great deal of disruption. Banning seemed to be a reasonable choice, but I still stand by it not being cool (and being unkind) to talk trash about others who cannot speak on thier own behalf.

  2. #52
    Symbolic Herald Vasilisa's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    In some sense I request your forgiveness Vaslisa, as I am uncertain of many details that may have transpired, as I dont frequent the forum as often as I used to. I know you to be a very caring, considerate person, so I suspect there is much information that I am lacking or have missed that has made you very frustrated with Marm over time. I respect that frustration and I do not mean to imply it is invalid in anyway. As i noted, Marm was not being kind in some of her later exchanges and using her ability to see through people as a defensive tool to inflict hurt on them...

    If I was to describe Marm and her page, it just strikes me as an enfp in hyper defensive mode. We tends towards hyper sensitivity, are easily provoked, and overreact when targeted, given the Ne tendency towards extrapolation and generalization. Once in a hyper reactive state, continual provocation becomes an attack upon one's core self and we refuse to back down and tolerate what we percieve to be bullying or maliciousness attacks by others. The response you might observe would be one of constant viligence and "punching" back, when others poke at us. Our punches will end to be extremely direct, while the provocation on the part of others is often much more subtle.

    Likely the best reponse for a mixed social setting such as this is to walk away, cutting all ties with people we have befriended or care for, but it just feels wrong inside, so there will be attempts to stick it out and just ignore the hurt feelings-by putting up a tougher and tougher front to push those who hurt us away, to stand strong in our boundaries. (Ha, it is the opposite of an INFJ doorslam oddly). I note that once an enfp enters this hyper defensive state, they tend to become the center of a great deal of judgement and the external provocation increases almost exponetially (like vultures after fresh roadkill?) until things reach an emotional boiling point. I do not know why, but I suspect it is regarded as the enfp "being mean" combined with being "overly emotional" and the thought it that they should be called out for rudeness, which just escalates the situation.

    I have met Marm and I know her to be very sweet and quite witty in real life, but obviously she felt pressured to take a very defensive (and thus offensive) stance towards her later forum interactions, resulting a great deal of disruption. Banning seemed to be a reasonable choice, but I still stand by it not being cool (and being unkind) to talk trash about others who cannot speak on thier own behalf.
    I was just pointing out that her ban has ended as of today
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  3. #53
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    I was just pointing out that her ban has ended as of today
    Woo hoo! Forum fun-time starts all over again!
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #54
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I didn't really see anybody defending her on PersNation this fall, she was on her own.

    (Heaven help me, I even thought Sim was being reasonable.)
    Hey so you like to talk about me behind my back? Awesome.

    That place is hell hole, Sim knows what happened and why I had meltdown (should have been obvious to anyone with half a brain who was paying attention to the drama between me and JTG) and he and I are cool.

    I noticed that a lot of people who are on my "ignore" list posted in this thread. Interesting how much people who hate me are obsessed with me.

    I r notorious.

    P.S. People did defend me on Personality Nation, including two INFJs and an INTJ. They were very supportive. That place is incestuous and has less diversity than this site, so of course they're more cliqueish and there wouldn't be too many separate groups taking sides.

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    In some sense I request your forgiveness Vaslisa, as I am uncertain of many details that may have transpired, as I dont frequent the forum as often as I used to. I know you to be a very caring, considerate person, so I suspect there is much information that I am lacking or have missed that has made you very frustrated with Marm over time. I respect that frustration and I do not mean to imply it is invalid in anyway. As i noted, Marm was not being kind in some of her later exchanges and using her ability to see through people as a defensive tool to inflict hurt on them...

    If I was to describe Marm and her page, it just strikes me as an enfp in hyper defensive mode. We tends towards hyper sensitivity, are easily provoked, and overreact when targeted, given the Ne tendency towards extrapolation and generalization. Once in a hyper reactive state, continual provocation becomes an attack upon one's core self and we refuse to back down and tolerate what we percieve to be bullying or maliciousness attacks by others. The response you might observe would be one of constant viligence and "punching" back, when others poke at us. Our punches will end to be extremely direct, while the provocation on the part of others is often much more subtle.

    Likely the best reponse for a mixed social setting such as this is to walk away, cutting all ties with people we have befriended or care for, but it just feels wrong inside, so there will be attempts to stick it out and just ignore the hurt feelings-by putting up a tougher and tougher front to push those who hurt us away, to stand strong in our boundaries. (Ha, it is the opposite of an INFJ doorslam oddly). I note that once an enfp enters this hyper defensive state, they tend to become the center of a great deal of judgement and the external provocation increases almost exponetially (like vultures after fresh roadkill?) until things reach an emotional boiling point. I do not know why, but I suspect it is regarded as the enfp "being mean" combined with being "overly emotional" and the thought it that they should be called out for rudeness, which just escalates the situation.

    I have met Marm and I know her to be very sweet and quite witty in real life, but obviously she felt pressured to take a very defensive (and thus offensive) stance towards her later forum interactions, resulting a great deal of disruption. Banning seemed to be a reasonable choice, but I still stand by it not being cool (and being unkind) to talk trash about others who cannot speak on thier own behalf.
    Thanks, Orobas.

    You're a real friend. You always have been.

  6. #56
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Hey so you like to talk about me behind my back? Awesome.
    Au contrare. I knew you'd be back and read it. As you did. If I wanted to talk about you behind your back, I'd... talk about you behind your back where you'd never see it, right? (Just sayin'.)

    That place is hell hole, Sim knows what happened and why I had meltdown (should have been obvious to anyone with half a brain who was paying attention to the drama between me and JTG) and he and I are cool.
    I don't go there anymore. Haven't for months. Glad you and Sim are cool, he's still on my FaceBook list.

    P.S. People did defend me on Personality Nation, including two INFJs and an INTJ. They were very supportive. That place is incestuous and has less diversity than this site, so of course they're more cliqueish and there wouldn't be too many separate groups taking sides.
    I wasn't there long enough to read every post, admittedly. I just knew you had an implosion of some sort, and at this point can't even remember the details.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post
    7 hours

    Et voilà!

  8. #58
    Knobgoblin mooseantlers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    Welcome back you, it's always nice to meet a veteran of a forum
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Tell me about the fucking golf shoes!

    "I don't wear a toupee!" Donald Trump

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by mooseantlers View Post
    Welcome back you, it's always nice to meet a veteran of a forum
    Thanks. We've never met? How exciting, and an ESFP at that.

    Are you on Personality Cafe, by any chance?


  10. #60
    Knobgoblin mooseantlers's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post

    Are you on Personality Cafe, by any chance?
    No, but I have a banned account on INTP central. It was because my name was ESFPDealwithit (my original intent was trolling, and even though I specified I had changed my mind about it, it still ended in a perma) But then I discovered this place which is nicer . PersonalityCafe is a rival site no, the equivalent of a banned Dreamviews member hopping to LD4All (this is likely lost on you :P) Anyway I'll shoot you a friend request here . I used way to many smileys in that post, this is surprisingly unusual of me to use THAT many :P.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Tell me about the fucking golf shoes!

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