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[SP] What are SPs like?

edward

New member
Joined
Apr 21, 2008
Messages
3
MBTI Type
INFP
Most women seem to love text messaging and phone calls every day with the person they are interested in. But SPs have been described as being in very strong need of "space." SPs are you like this? Do you like to hear from your mates quite a bit just to say hello and see how your doing or is this invading space to do it too much?
 

ThatsWhatHeSaid

Well-known member
Joined
May 11, 2007
Messages
7,263
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Idealy, everyone needs space. If you're insecure about your attachment, you want less space because it hides your fear of abandonment and loneliness. I've known "SPs" who waffled between clingy and independent based on how I interacted with them, either suggesting interest or disinterest.

So, who's the lucky girl you're trying to court? ;)
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
Joined
Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
MBTI Type
GONE
Most women seem to love text messaging and phone calls every day with the person they are interested in.

You have obviously not yet met many of the women of this site (and most of them aren't even SP!) :ninja:

I think even amongst SPs, the "e" or "i" function would make a big difference as far as needs for space. ISFPs are the protypical 'march to their own drummers". I think I knew an ISFP guy once and it was actually kinda fascinating trying to understand what his actual perceptions and boundaries were -- when I was being invasive and when he wanted..contact? (This isn't even in a romantic context, btw)

Even with my INTP friends, I often wonder if their stoic or gruff response to me is rebuffing me or telling me to back off or is actually the opposite, showing me they are in distress and want or even expect me reach out. I kinda wonder about their boundaries and space issues. It's harder with NTs or people who are not as...expressive or verbal, at least for me. I get all hyperactive with my Ne and try to anticipate reactions and needs and 'meanings' when my friends are in distress. Maybe it's easier for INFPs.

It's the classic quandary when you see an acquintance cry. How to respond? Do they want you to ignore them (I'm serious, I've often wished people would ignore me when I cry in public, b/c it's embarassing!) and give them a lot of space? Do they want you to reach out and hug them literally or figuratively?

BTW, I think your question about space when it comes to courtship can unfortunately lead to HEAD GAMES and second guessing what someone 'really means' or trying to send 'signals' to what you want. Yikes.
 

alicia91

New member
Joined
Nov 20, 2007
Messages
671
I'd say I'm fairly middle-of-the road when it comes to needing attention and contact. I call my husband usually once or twice a day and it bothers me if he never initiates the calling (which is a problem since he's an ENTJ and forgets that he has a wife). On the other hand I like my space and don't want to necessarily hang out with him during every moment when we have free time.
 

thefish

New member
Joined
Feb 23, 2008
Messages
7
MBTI Type
ESTP
Space is definitely needed for this ESTP... and if I don't get it, I'll start to lose energy... and become cranky.

It's nothing personal, and it usually can be only a few hours of doing nothing (but doing nothing on my terms :huh: ).
 

"?"

New member
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
1,167
MBTI Type
TiSe
Fish, your sentiments match mine and confirms my thoughts that ESTPs have a hypersenstivity to being confined and having no space to call their own. I think this type may mistype as introverted more than the other ET types. Refer to how FDR and JFK (both considered ESTP) were when not in the public's eye.
 

nightning

ish red no longer *sad*
Joined
Apr 23, 2007
Messages
3,741
MBTI Type
INfj
It is in my experiences that most Is requires space... female or otherwise...
 

Seanan

Procrastinating
Joined
Feb 18, 2008
Messages
954
MBTI Type
INTJ
Not meaning to derail... I'm so glad to see this thread. There aren't enough on this type and I'm still trying to figure out some functions for hubby. He doesn't fit descriptions I've seen so I'm trying to glean info.
 

"?"

New member
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
1,167
MBTI Type
TiSe
Not meaning to derail... I'm so glad to see this thread. There aren't enough on this type and I'm still trying to figure out some functions for hubby. He doesn't fit descriptions I've seen so I'm trying to glean info.
What type do you believe hubby to be?
 

Seanan

Procrastinating
Joined
Feb 18, 2008
Messages
954
MBTI Type
INTJ
What type do you believe hubby to be?

ISTP or J there are just some things in both descriptions that don't fit... only one I can remember right now is everything fit except a neat/clean environment which is so not him.
 

6sticks

New member
Joined
Feb 18, 2008
Messages
424
MBTI Type
istp
I only want to hear from people if they want to do something. I don't like chit-chat.
 

mcmartinez84

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2007
Messages
650
MBTI Type
ISTP
I'm a huge fan of space. I live in Arkansas and my boyfriend lives in Ohio...bothers him (ENxJ) a lot more than it bothers me. I just moved here in Jan. and I've got the same friend I moved up here with (ESTP) and we've made friends with an ISTJ (which is kinda weird 'cause he so closed minded about some stuff).

Oh, and I'm really dense and I can't read between the lines. At all. :p

Chit-chat is awful. I can't handle it. I never have anything to say....
 

"?"

New member
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
1,167
MBTI Type
TiSe
ISTP or J there are just some things in both descriptions that don't fit... only one I can remember right now is everything fit except a neat/clean environment which is so not him.
I actually can relate to some of the ISTJ descriptions as well, however keep in mind J/P does not equate to cleanliness. Also I have come to realize that SPs do not like change and ambiguous environments. They want to know what is expected of them, so they can determine how to wriggle around the structure. If that structure continues to change, they become frustrated. So ISTPs can easily mistype as J for a number of reasons: The Se can need and want familiarity which may resemble structure. Also, having a "Chart the Course" interaction style similar to INTJ, INFJ and ISTJ can make ISTPs appear more structured than they truly are.
 

alicia91

New member
Joined
Nov 20, 2007
Messages
671
Also I have come to realize that SPs do not like change and ambiguous environments. They want to know what is expected of them, so they can determine how to wriggle around the structure.

So true! I thought for a long time that I was a J, because I don't like change (actually I DO, but I don't like it imposed on me) and I like the house to be quite tidy (but that's not necessarily due to hygiene - I like it to look nice), plus a few other things I misunderstood (or read too much into). However, I think this goes against the idea that SPs are generally improvisers and spontaneous. I've come to realize that I know a lot of SPs and these qualities come with a huge disclaimer!
 

millerm277

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2008
Messages
978
MBTI Type
ISTP
Also I have come to realize that SPs do not like change and ambiguous environments. They want to know what is expected of them, so they can determine how to wriggle around the structure.

Quite true...the less my environment changes, the more I can work it to my advantage/the way I want to do things.

As for the space issue...I need a lot of space. After getting home from school, or a social event, I need a couple hours to unwind before I want to interact with anyone again. It's not so much that being with/interacting more with people bothers me, it's just that I'm tired and don't feel like doing it until I've had some time to "recharge".
 

mcmartinez84

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2007
Messages
650
MBTI Type
ISTP
Quite true...the less my environment changes, the more I can work it to my advantage/the way I want to do things.

As for the space issue...I need a lot of space. After getting home from school, or a social event, I need a couple hours to unwind before I want to interact with anyone again. It's not so much that being with/interacting more with people bothers me, it's just that I'm tired and don't feel like doing it until I've had some time to "recharge".

Amen! I definitely agree with the space deal.

As far as rules... I really like knowing what I can and can't do. You gotta be clear with me, tell me exactly what's going on. It's not like I pick up on subtleties :p
I don't usually take advantage of the system. I hate it when other people do it just because they can and they (probably) think they deserve to be able to.
 

"?"

New member
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
1,167
MBTI Type
TiSe
However, I think this goes against the idea that SPs are generally improvisers and spontaneous. I've come to realize that I know a lot of SPs and these qualities come with a huge disclaimer!
So true. I am not spontaneous as ISTJs that I know, and you're absolutely right that Se users can mistaken their actions for what we understand to be J-ness, i.e. confusing a need for immediate impact with a need closure.
 

alicia91

New member
Joined
Nov 20, 2007
Messages
671
confusing a need for immediate impact with a need closure

Yes! When I make my mind up about something, or resign myself to the inevitable, then my thought is "let's just do it!" And if others are giving it lots of time or not moving on it then I get get really annoyed (and have been known to get pushy about it).
 

"?"

New member
Joined
May 2, 2007
Messages
1,167
MBTI Type
TiSe
Yes! When I make my mind up about something, or resign myself to the inevitable, then my thought is "let's just do it!" And if others are giving it lots of time or not moving on it then I get get really annoyed (and have been known to get pushy about it).
I just love ISFPs:wubbie:
 
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