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  1. #21
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    interesting. So alicia and other ISFPs, does this apply to people and ideas? Had a falling out with an ISFP friend a long time ago.

  2. #22
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    SP's are fun and interesting people.

    I have ESFP and ISTP in my family. I have a ISFP and ESTP friends. They are all great!

  3. #23
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    interesting. So alicia and other ISFPs, does this apply to people and ideas? Had a falling out with an ISFP friend a long time ago.
    Hmm.. good question, I've never given this any thought ever, until this thread. Without giving it any serious study, I'd say yes, especially to people. For some reason, I hate ambiguity towards me from another person - I want to know where I stand and if there is conflict I want to sort it out and get the relationship back to something more harmonious (or back to whatever I consider normal) otherwise it causes a lot of stress for me 'why aren't they calling?' 'do they hate me now?' etc. On the other hand I'm not nearly as stressed about my own feelings towards someone - I guess because I have more control over that. I can step back and take my time evaluation a situation and not feel so compelled to resolve it. Though I wouldn't say that I like ambiguity for a lengthy time in that situation either. I guess it all just depends on what the situation is and how significant it is to me.

    Ideas? - I don't think I have too much of a problem with conflicting, ambiguous ideas as long as they aren't causing stress in my relationship with another person. Actually, I have a hard time answering this question because I can't think of an example. If you want to know more, ask me a hypothetical question.

  4. #24
    Senior Member "?"'s Avatar
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    Keep in mind that SPs and NFs share a commonality of focusing on others motives (where NTs and SJs focus on structure). Unlike the abstract NF (focusing optimistically on the ideas of others motives), SPs in general naturally focus on the concreteness of others motives. As for how SPs deal with conflicts, may this will help:
    How ESTPs Deal with Conflict
    They often find task-related conflict stimulating and exciting, and they take a direct approach and fight back when need be. Their clear, direct, to-the-point approach may be read the wrong way as they push back to get through the conflict so work can be accomplished. They often get a lot out of conflict and engage their negotiating skills to work through it. They want others to be as direct with them as they are with others. At the same time they want to avoid hurting others’ feelings, so they attempt to maintain a respectful and caring attitude, except in a cutthroat environment.

    How ESFPs Deal with Conflict
    If they had their way, there would be no conflict. But when there is they usually try to make light of a situation to shift the attention to something more positive. When the team has a problem, they expect real progress to be made toward a solution. If they see no progress, they will likely disengage and perhaps even leave the team if they can.

    How ISTPs Deal with Conflict
    Conflict that is centered on how to do things is comfortable for them, but they hate conflict that is heavily laden with emotion. They tend to withdraw so they can sort it all out before they come back and face these emotional situations. Once they have sorted it out, they want to approach the conflict as if it is a problem to be solved.

    How ISFPs Deal with Conflict
    Conflict is something they tend to ignore for a while and then work to resolve. When strong values are crossed or when the conflict seems to go on and get in the way of the work of the team, they may withdraw from the relationship. They prefer to focus on getting the work done rather than too much analysis of interpersonal issues.

  5. #25
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    My mom, one sister and I are all ISFPs and I think I agree very generally with the above information, particularly in my mother's case. She tends to just let things be, and will only address things when necessary. My sister and I are more affected emotionally by just leaving things and would probably try to resolve it. On the other hand, we both tend to filter things through a 'is it worth it?' filter. If the conflict is with someone who isn't overly important to us, a relationship that was about to die anyhow, a total stranger who pisses us off - then we might just say 'forget it - not worth the mental energy.' But if we do care, then we try to harmonize the situation.

  6. #26
    Senior Member "?"'s Avatar
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    Interesting enough, I do resolution management for a large city government so I continuously work with daily conflicts. I have no vested interest in dealing with the emotions of people. If I find them too subjective, I will put off handling the conflict until a better opportunity presents itself. If I can't, I have been prone to lose it while in the person(s) present and blurt out something like "get a grip already".

  7. #27
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by "?" View Post
    Interesting enough, I do resolution management for a large city government so I continuously work with daily conflicts. I have no vested interest in dealing with the emotions of people. If I find them too subjective, I will put off handling the conflict until a better opportunity presents itself. If I can't, I have been prone to lose it while in the person(s) present and blurt out something like "get a grip already".
    LOL. I want your job so I can get paid to say that to people

    I put off dealing with people's emotions for as long as I can hoping that some circumstance will arise that will either shift the decision making away from me, or make the decision making process more rationally handled.

    Emotions are not to be trusted!! That's a T thing, though...
    I 65.63% E 34.38%
    S 68.75% N 31.25%
    T 87.1% F 12.9%
    P 66.67% J 33.33%

  8. #28
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    I think I have enough T in me to feel that way sometimes too. Today on anther forum that I frequent there was a huge controversy and people were getting so upset, angry, telling off the mods and so forth. I posted something like 'it's a BOARD people, not reality!' (this was all because someone used the word 'hillbilly' in a sentence). Some things are so not worth getting worked up about. These people were really freaking me out with how upset and outraged they were.

    If I can't, I have been prone to lose it while in the person(s) present and blurt out something like "get a grip already".
    Love that response!

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by 6sticks View Post
    I only want to hear from people if they want to do something. I don't like chit-chat.
    And let us say "Amen".

  10. #30
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    We're like the wind...through your trees...
    we ride the night next to you.
    We lead you through moonlight,
    Only to burn you with the sun
    We've taken your heart
    But we don't know what we've done!


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