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Thread: ISTPS

  1. #1
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    Default ISTPS

    Are you attracted to people who are "broken" aka have some sort of mental or emotional problem that you can analyze and fix?

  2. #2
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    No not at all. If they're broken then that means they need fixing.

    the only kind of fixing I want a woman to be apart of is fixing me a sandwich (period.).

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    I like to help analyze and fix peoples external issues...as in..."my sink is leaking". Any type of emotional analysis or mental analysis tends to be just talking with the other person, not really analysis and fixing.
    Im out, its been fun

  4. #4
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    In my early twenties, I tended to look for people who were emotionally distant because I felt safe with that level of intimacy. I thought I was similar. I realized that I wasn't like them. I could connect with someone emotionally. I just needed more time and space than most other people to get there. I wasn't a cold person. Took me a while to learn that difference but it was a big one for me. I never looked for broken people or was attracted for that trait. I got enough problems of my own. I don't need yours!

    My lack of knowing myself invariably connected me with some broken individuals.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  5. #5
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Honestly, I'd rather not to deal with stuff like this. I need a lot of space, and as few demands as possible. I don't consider myself selfish when confronted with something, but I don't really like to be bothered much in the first place. I'm also not very good with other people's problems and emotions. I can feign interest. Or at least, nod and say I understand? But I'm not going to necessarily fix their problems. When I first got into spiritual beliefs, I worked on this though. I tried.. but it didn't last long. I even went to a charity and helped at a homeless shelter. Guess what happened the first night? I beat up some drunk. Although, even there, maybe I was helping others. He was disruptive to all of the legitimate people there. Like families, who were evicted or something.

    As for dating, yes, I've dated some broken people. I don't think it was intentional. One was a serious alcoholic, for example. I suppose I devoted my thoughts to her for awhile. But I got out of that situation before it got too serious. I've wasted more time trying to date uber-good girls (at least, perceived as such, in my mind). I would say this sucks equally because I'm made to be out the person that needs fixing instead.

    I care a lot less about dating in general now.

  6. #6
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Not that I claim to be speaking for ISTPs (hey, I might not even be one....I might just be a garden variety antisocial person). But I will say that I see this level of patience in IFJs. I think they both take time to sort other people's problems out as well. Perhaps that's tertiary Ti. Or perhaps they're just more generous. I think about things as they come and what interests me. And it usually doesn't involve your kitchen sink or emotional issues.

    Maybe even ESTPs have a better EFJ side. They're kind of popular for more than just the obvious reasons. I mean, they're more social in general. And more to power to them. I just never wanted to be like that. "Everybody's hero". Sounds like a pain in the ass.

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    Quote Originally Posted by KDude View Post
    Not that I claim to be speaking for ISTPs (hey, I might not even be one....I might just be a garden variety antisocial person). But I will say that I see this level of patience in IFJs. I think they both take time to sort other people's problems out as well. Perhaps that's tertiary Ti. Or perhaps they're just more generous. I think about things as they come and what interests me. And it usually doesn't involve your kitchen sink or emotional issues.

    Maybe even ESTPs have a better EFJ side. They're kind of popular for more than just the obvious reasons. I mean, they're more social in general. And more to power to them. I just never wanted to be like that. "Everybody's hero". Sounds like a pain in the ass.
    I have always been strange as I have always enjoyed fixing and doing things. Hell, I dont even have cable/directv/or an antenna. Unless my son is here my TV almost never goes on. I have no desire to be a hero, it feels good to help, but for some stupid crazy reason I love to push myself physically and do things for others. I am not anti-social in the sense that others push people away or get in fights or arguments, I just have a habit of walking off whenever I want. Sometimes someone wants to tag along, sometimes its just me.

    I personally know I cant "fix" people and half the time I dont even know what to say. I dont mind talking, but fixing is never on my radar. I just am more of a voice of reason.
    Im out, its been fun

  8. #8
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by _Poki_ View Post
    I have always been strange as I have always enjoyed fixing and doing things. Hell, I dont even have cable/directv/or an antenna. Unless my son is here my TV almost never goes on. I have no desire to be a hero, it feels good to help, but for some stupid crazy reason I love to push myself physically and do things for others. I am not anti-social in the sense that others push people away or get in fights or arguments, I just have a habit of walking off whenever I want. Sometimes someone wants to tag along, sometimes its just me.

    I personally know I cant "fix" people and half the time I dont even know what to say. I dont mind talking, but fixing is never on my radar. I just am more of a voice of reason.
    I like fixing things too...

    Well, more in a "wham bam thank you maam" kind of sense. I like to automate. Fix things for good, or a long while. I don't want to maintain anything, or have to always be on call.

    As for people, I'm aware that it's kind of lame, but it's always kind of irritating to have to fix their stuff. I mean, I do it sometimes, but begrudgingly. I might keep it to myself at times, but just to be honest, I kind of hate it. If anything, I might do something once, maybe show them what's up, and then hopefully be left alone (this might fall under my automation philosophy too). I don't want to help with things I'm not needed for though. Sometimes an acquaintence might call and ask for help to paint his house. My first thought is "Really? What?" Not that I can't do it, but I don't want to. I'm sure I've disappointed some people. Sometimes realize that I miss some opportunities this way. Like, not fixing the tire of some cute girl, who I find out later kind of liked me. Hindsight is 20/20, I guess.

    As for people's emotional issues, usually one of the first things I think about, if anything, is how they should probably be more grateful and not sweat so much small shit. This doesn't always apply, but I think it's usually a root problem for some. So I might advise on that.

    This is kind of a rant. Sorry.

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    I tried helping a friend fix himself. Problem is, when it comes to people, you can't fix them - it's completely beyond your control. Ergo, not the kind of project ISTPs really enjoy.
    What I liked was identifying the problem areas and proposing ways to fix them over time. What I didn't like was that the discussions always became a what if-yes but game, and we always came back to the same basic topics. Again: You can't change people, you can just give them information.

    In the end I realized that I was spending way too much time trying to help him get a life, wasting my own time and life in the process, so after a few years of taking his crap, I told him I'd love to be friends with him once he takes care of his personal issues, and then I walked away from the whole thing. He informed me that I'm a jerk, but that's nothing new to me.

  10. #10
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    Absolutely not. It's one of the first dealbreakers. I have no interest in being someone's psychiatrist, and I'd be bad at it anyway.
    -end of thread-

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