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Thread: SFPs involved with NFs?

  1. #1

    Default SFPs involved with NFs?

    BookLady posted a cool thread in the NF forum and thought I would ask in the SP area.....

    Are there any SFPs involved with NFs in ralationships? If so what is the relationship like?

  2. #2


    I haven't had any romantic relationships with NFs that I know of, but I did have a pretty close friendship with an INFJ that seemed to illustrate the SP/NF difference.

    We met our freshman year of college and bonded initially because we had similar temperaments. We were both quiet and enjoyed nerdy activities together, but there seemed to be a fundamental difference in our personalities that eventually came out.

    She was very intense, and would try to engage me abstract philosophical discussions. This went nowhere with me, and I usually said that I didn't care to think about those sorts of things. She would respond with something along the lines of "Life would be meaningless for me if I didn't reflect on my experiences" or to quote Socrates "The unexamined life is not worth living." I had a hard time communicating to her that I did reflect on my experiences, but it was just in a different way.

    After all this, we sort of drifted apart. However, she did come to me for emotional support from time to time, because people at our college could be pretty catty. I think she appreciated my realism and loyalty, and I wish I had tried to be more reponsive to her interests.

  3. #3
    Junior Member Array ChazzMichaels's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007

    Default ISFP with INFJ

    I have been in a relationship with an INFJ for nearly 3 years now. I love her very much and we plan to marry within the next year or two. We have had our share of little problems though. She tends to be more rigid in decision making while I can be annoyingly undecisive at times. I believe this would cause most of our disagreements, for example JvsP: Driving to a predetermined restaurant she might become annoyed when I decide to stop at a store or another restaurant in mind. As for the NF/SFP difference, we really get along quite well, but my S/N preference is very close. I originally thought I was an INFP but through further reading and study we both decided I was an ISFP. I can go into abstract thought and get my N on, but it can take a little coaxing. Still, she would rather sit and read while I race the go-karts. We have come to understand our preferences (thanks to MBTI) and just accept our true self while respecting one another.
    Chazz: You're living in the past, Sammi. Me and the Woodland Fairies, we're living in the HERE and NOW.

  4. #4
    Junior Member Array dancinglissa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008


    Well, I'm an INFJ, and I have a pretty close friendship with an ESFP. Well, I think it's partially due to the fact that I was just joining the school and one girl in my class was crazy and the other is an ESTJ (yes, only 4 girls in my class). (Oh, and the crazy girl left before this year.) We get along great and have lots of fun but I don't think we'll really keep in touch when we graduate.

    I also went out with an ESTP. Or maybe an ESTJ. He tested ESTP first, then retested and it said he was an ESTJ. He was good, until he cheated on me. HE IS NOW THE CRAZIEST KID I'VE EVER MET.
    INFJ, Counselor, IEI, 4w5

  5. #5
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Sep 2007


    My ex boyfriend of 6 years was an ISFP. Provided, he was also diagnosed bi-polar, so some of the differences could have been due to his illness.

    We had an INSTANT connection the day we met. Since we didn't exchange numbers that day, he actually contacted a mutual friend for my information because he "had to see me again right away". I should note the SAME exact thing happened with a later boyfriend who I believe to also be ISFP.

    The beginning of the relationship was a LOT of fun. We were constantly doing some sort of activity - usually outdoors related because we were both passionate about hiking & camping. He was really good at coming up with new & exciting things to do. When I was in his "moment", he might as well have been my prince charming. Both of us fell hard and fast for one another - I think we sad "I love you" within a couple weeks of dating. After the initial year or so, we started running into problems though.

    I think it's the Fi vs Fe thing. I've always had a strong Fe, to the point where I've questioned whether I was an ENFJ or an INFJ because my Fe & Ni are pretty much in a dead heat as far as usage. He had a strong Fi. Our relationship turned into it being all about HIM - he was very much inside his head in a Fi perspective and I was taking care of him & attending to his needs in a Fe sort of way. It turned into a very unhealthy situation for both of us because I was essentially enabling his depression and making his life my life without getting any of my needs met in return. Had I been a bit older and wiser, I probably could've caught myself before getting so absorbed in his inner demons, but it was my first serious relationship & I guess I didn't know any better.

    Eventually, the relationship was basically based on him - his moods, values, etc. He was very sensitive to criticism, but felt the need to criticize me. There was cheating involved on his part, but even without that it was a very unhealthy relationship.

    Anyway, I'm in no way saying that ISFP & INFJ doesn't work - I dated an emotionally unhealthy ISFP! I just wanted to share my experience.

  6. #6


    i work with an isfp in a very heavy physical sensor thinker area (no istps however) and the isfp tries to fit in but he talks about things that do not naturally "bond" with other thinkers which I can pick up easily. I get the sense from him that he feels inferior to me because of that (and because we relate as well) we're in the same field which I won't describe and I can pick up and break apart technical ideas 3-5 times faster than he can. I also know an INFJ lady too, man... no comment. Whenever I have a convo with her, it's like I feel like the Christian fictional prophet Mohammed or St. Jesus Christ is being crucified.

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