User Tag List

First 7891011 Last

Results 81 to 90 of 147

  1. #81
    brainheart
    Guest

    Default

    Supposedly my husband is an ISTP and I'm an INFP. He seems to like me just fine, although we have had problems. We sometimes talk at each other, because he wants to talk about skateboarding and I want to talk about some cool idea I've discovered and we both have a hard time understanding or paying attention to what the other is saying. There are few movies we can watch together. But we both like concerts. We both like to drink and to eat good food. We both enjoy travel. We both love our kids. I think the key is to have others with whom you can totally INFP-out or totally ISTP-out. Don't expect your significant other to fulfill all your needs- good advice for anyone of any type, point in fact.

  2. #82
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    3

    Default

    This thread has been really helpful and interesting to me, so I just wanted to put in my two cents!

    I'm an INFP and my boyfriend is an ISTP. We've been dating for almost two years and things have been going strong that entire time; there's been no decrease in passion or anything. I credit this to our excellent communication skills; we are good at talking through problems.

    But, I can also recognize that many of the problems we do have arise from our somewhat different temperaments. He just can't understand my emotional approach, and I wish he wouldn't keep so many things bottled up. I will try and approach an issue from a "Here is how I feel, you may not have meant to when you did this but it hurt me, these are my feelings" standpoint, and he will argue with me that I "should" not feel that way because what he did shouldn't have upset me. That doesn't matter!! raaagh. Then the fight lasts forever because I'm trying to convince him that my opinion and feelings are valid, and he gets annoyed that things keep dragging on, when it's only because he doesn't appear to be listening to me!

    Only in the past few days while delving back into MBTI research have I realized these issues probably stem from an INFP/ISTP natural conflict, haha.

    But I really don't think INFPs and ISTPs are incompatible. In fact we tell each other all the time how compatible we think we are with each other. (But I also think he's more in touch with his emotions than most ISTPs; he's always written me amazing things about how he feels about me. And I'm also 50/50 on thinking/feeling, just I lean heavily towards feeling.) I think good, regular communication can overcome any inherent personality difference. Really, the fact that we can be pretty divergent in how we approach things just makes us more interesting to the other, I think. We alternately ground and inspire the other--idealistic me, realistic/cynical him. He is also able to read me really well--if I'm feeling upset in any way, without even saying anything, he knows.

    I've also come to realize I may tend towards overreacting/being dramatic over what usually amounts to nothing, which is probably an INFP thing, and that doesn't really go over too well with him--especially when that's directed at him in a what he perceives to be unfair way, haha. He's really good at being a rock for me and assuring me I have his support when I'm freaking out about stuff, though.

    And we are similar in that we both like to have our space. We have had some really peaceful moments where we're totally doing our own thing, just together. We also have common beliefs (politically, etc) and similar world views.

    I also have to say to Unique, the guy who yearns after an INFP girl but she won't accept him... okay, seriously, you need to give this up. You're doing the obnoxious "Nice Guy" thing, where you hang around after a girl you like, waiting and hoping while she dates guys you consider beneath her and not as good as YOUUU would be, and thinking you know what's best for her dating-wise. And being so arrogant as to assume YOU are her perfect guy, based solely on your own judgment. How unbelievably self-serving! You do not know what's best for her--SHE does. And if she's rejected you when sober, regardless of if she hooked up with you when drunk and inhibitions lowered, then she doesn't like you that way. That's it, end of story, quit hanging around thinking you know best. Thank you.

  3. #83
    Junior Member Pillows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Posts
    9

    Default

    So I'm reviving an almost dead thread...but this seems so much more relevant to anything else I've found! I'm an SP for sure, (I go back and forth between I-E/F-P) and one would think I'd know my own type well enough to understand this ISTP guy I'm after.

    I'm a pretty confident girl in social scenarios and generally I'd say I'm used to being pursued. But with this guy I feel my standard "gameplan" is totally thrown off! I met him haphazardly at a sports game and he gave me HIS number. Physically speaking I don't think hes particularly debonair, and for whatever reason that makes me believe he's genuine. But I have to say I am SO embarrassed how uncomfortable I am making the first move! We've been talking over the last few days via text message, (by my initiation) and when we do, he's really responsive and conversational.

    I've been so confused as to how much I should do; I researched the heck out of ISTPs because I'm just that thrown off. Literally, it was this thread that made me text him in the first place after hearing Seamaid talk about how she was encountering similar feelings of insecurity with ISTP seemingly natural unresponsiveness. Sure there's the possibility that maybe he's not actually into me, but why bother keeping contact at all right? So, for my own piece of mind, I have to ask this question to the ISTPS...am I always going to be making the effort when it comes to verbal contact?

    I feel like a crazy person.

  4. #84
    Member Little Laura's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    ISFJ
    Enneagram
    Two
    Socionics
    ESI
    Posts
    66

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pillows View Post

    I've been so confused as to how much I should do; I researched the heck out of ISTPs because I'm just that thrown off. Literally, it was this thread that made me text him in the first place after hearing Seamaid talk about how she was encountering similar feelings of insecurity with ISTP seemingly natural unresponsiveness. Sure there's the possibility that maybe he's not actually into me, but why bother keeping contact at all right? So, for my own piece of mind, I have to ask this question to the ISTPS...am I always going to be making the effort when it comes to verbal contact?

    I feel like a crazy person.
    I felt like a crazy cling-on girl all the time with my ISTP and I have never felt that way before. Normally, I am the one that needs some space.

    I almost always have to initiate conversation. Once we didn't talk for a whole month and he didn't even notice. Ridiculous. If he ever does initiate conversation it is always some VERY random message, either to bitch about some stupid person, or to tell me something very funny, or to send me a link to a weird video/website. We are no longer what we once were, so I just take alot of these things as his way of maintaining our friendship because he knows I'll listen, make him feel better about himself, and share a similar sense of humour.

    I have a feeling that ISTPs sometimes get caught up in their own little world more than other people.

    As to whether or not he is into you....I have no idea. LOL. I'll leave that for you to find out or someone else to clarify.
    "That's life. If nothing else, its life. It's real, and sometimes it fuckin' hurts, but it's sort of all we have."
    -Garden State

  5. #85
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Posts
    719

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Laura View Post
    I have a feeling that ISTPs sometimes get caught up in their own little world more than other people.
    Yep.

    I'm easily distracted by things in front of me, and I forget to talk to people all the time. Doesn't matter how long I've known you or how close we are...it's not my natural inclination to keep in touch.

    I realize that makes me seem like a terrible friend at times 'cause the other person always initiates, but I'm there for them if they need me. The more I like the person, the more I'll go out of my way to cheer them up or hang around them.

    As for INFPs - I've got a really good INFP friend. She's a real sweetheart to me. I miss her being around sometimes (I moved after college and now she's moved too). She used to come over and cook a random meal or watch tv and keep me company while I did chores around my disastrous apartment in college. Every trip she's been on, she's thought of me and gotten me some kind of gift that I'll like. Big or small, doesn't matter. Somehow she just knows wtf I'll like. Idk how she tolerates me
    I 65.63% E 34.38%
    S 68.75% N 31.25%
    T 87.1% F 12.9%
    P 66.67% J 33.33%

  6. #86
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sp/sx
    Posts
    1,636

    Default

    "...it's not my natural inclination to keep in touch".

    That remark resembles me somehow.

    My closest friend moved away two years ago. It amazes me that two ISTP's have remained in touch, it's not a natural inclination...in absense of activity.
    Even if the communication fades, I suspect "attained status" would have us picking up just like yesterday. If our paths cross again.

  7. #87
    ♪♫♪♫♪♫ luminous beam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    2w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    779

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    "...it's not my natural inclination to keep in touch".

    That remark resembles me somehow.

    My closest friend moved away two years ago. It amazes me that two ISTP's have remained in touch, it's not a natural inclination...in absense of activity.
    Even if the communication fades, I suspect "attained status" would have us picking up just like yesterday. If our paths cross again.
    That's interesting, so if it's not common for you two to incline to keep in touch, what do you think makes these friendships be any different? Ever had ex-es that you maintain connected to somehow still similar to this scenario?


  8. #88
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    MBTI
    ISTP
    Enneagram
    9w8 sp/sx
    Posts
    1,636

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by luminous beam View Post
    That's interesting, so if it's not common for you two to incline to keep in touch, what do you think makes these friendships be any different? Ever had ex-es that you maintain connected to somehow still similar to this scenario?
    Nah, don't maintain connected. ex-es is excess.

    I'm not sure what's different? or if the trend will continue?

  9. #89
    ♪♫♪♫♪♫ luminous beam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    2w3 sx/so
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    779

    Default

    ^haha, you lazy bum. you just don't wanna look into it and figure out what's diff! only you and mcmartinez know the answer because it pertains to your individual relationships with your close friends. but i would like to see if there is a pattern between these.


  10. #90
    Senior Member seamaid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    5w4
    Posts
    152

    Default

    Is it normal for ISTPs to act warm and affectionate ('on') on some days, and then cool and distant ('off') the next day, only to completely not know what you're talking about if you mention that you're worried ISTP is ''not feeling it anymore" just because of that one 'off' day? It's like he forgets that he was totally cold and distant the next morning and is back to his cheerful, "I want you around me" self.

    As an INFP who just wants her ISTP to be happy (all the time if it's in her power), I'd like to know why this is. We have only one persistent issue, and it's that I'm not outgoing enough in public (I have a bit of social phobia). This is something he has not explicitly complained about, but I know he'd be delighted if I was more talkative. Because after we get out of a social situation, he acts like he's bummed to be around me, because I wasn't the life of the party. Then as soon as we get home, he's his happy affectionate self again.

    In private, he's fine with this -- we get along really well and communicate fine. But when we go out with his friends (there is one immature - subtly competitive, manipulative, and one-upping - female friend in particular who keeps rubbing me the wrong way -- I don't trust her and she has most of the symptoms of NPD) I get a bit nervous and quiet. I'm participating with a pleasant social face on but I think he's disappointed that I'm not coming off as super interesting. Which I feel really bad about. The fact is, he knows I am an interesting and intelligent person inside (which comes out in private), but he wants to have others know it too. And I could care less about flaunting myself, showing off and being pretentious the way his NPD friend does.

    Why is he like this? He's 26 btw, I am 29.

Similar Threads

  1. [INFP] Best INFP Relationships
    By lulabelle in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 09-07-2014, 07:08 PM
  2. [MBTItm] ISTP-INFP Relationship
    By tkae. in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 10-04-2010, 10:11 PM
  3. [ISTP] ISTPs maintaining relationships
    By Intricate Mystic in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 11-10-2009, 07:11 PM
  4. [MBTItm] ISTP and INFP relationship
    By cooliogirly1000 in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-31-2009, 01:58 PM
  5. [ISTP] ISTPs need relationships too!
    By Winz in forum The SP Arthouse (ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, ISTP)
    Replies: 181
    Last Post: 04-13-2009, 01:01 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO