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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unique View Post
    I don't make the first move cause she gives too many mixed messages, I've talked to her online several times about me liking her, I've apparently told her while drunk (but don't remember) that "I love her" her friends have told her plenty of times, she's told me while drunk that she loves me a few times and that "I'm lovely" and cuddles up to me fairly often under the influence too

    It seems that deep deep down she loves me but as soon as she's sober its back to the idealisms

    Where as I love her all the time but I've given up now and everyone thinks I have and I am pretty much over her but it seems like she'll always have a place in my heart

    I feel like I've really given it my all, I've done all of the above you suggest and then some, eg. I went to a concert with her when she got stuck with a sold out ticket and paid more so I could go with her, I went to the movies with her after some guy bailed on her (and yeah she rejected my advances that night... being sober and all >.<)

    I mean we are talking a long time here, I've even tried playing hard to get/cocky which seemed to get her interested but when it came to making a decision to be with me was STILL indecisive with a "maybe later" sorta thing

    Do you actually care about how cute a guy looks? I mean I've been told I'm quite good looking but she does seem to be secretly shallow (and I say secretly cause she seems to want everyone to think she's deeper than that)
    but when she goes out with a guy purely because he fit her physical ideal (and she drew pictures of him AND sent them to me knowing full well that I wouldn't appreciate this) then what other conclusion can I draw? (no pun intended)

    Maybe I still love her, but I've given up and for good reason, if she wants me she can come to me now... I'm done
    I have the same kind of problem with this other INFP girl i like, I don't love her but she sends mixed signals as If she likes me but doesen't care much to actually get in contact with me. From me experiance INFPs are weird with relationships they seem to need someone with extreme authority over them.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by jixmixfix View Post
    I have the same kind of problem with this other INFP girl i like, I don't love her but she sends mixed signals as If she likes me but doesen't care much to actually get in contact with me. From me experiance INFPs are weird with relationships they seem to need someone with extreme authority over them.
    my*

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Unique View Post
    I don't make the first move cause she gives too many mixed messages, I've talked to her online several times about me liking her, I've apparently told her while drunk (but don't remember) that "I love her" her friends have told her plenty of times, she's told me while drunk that she loves me a few times and that "I'm lovely" and cuddles up to me fairly often under the influence too

    It seems that deep deep down she loves me but as soon as she's sober its back to the idealisms

    Where as I love her all the time but I've given up now and everyone thinks I have and I am pretty much over her but it seems like she'll always have a place in my heart

    I feel like I've really given it my all, I've done all of the above you suggest and then some, eg. I went to a concert with her when she got stuck with a sold out ticket and paid more so I could go with her, I went to the movies with her after some guy bailed on her (and yeah she rejected my advances that night... being sober and all >.<)

    I mean we are talking a long time here, I've even tried playing hard to get/cocky which seemed to get her interested but when it came to making a decision to be with me was STILL indecisive with a "maybe later" sorta thing

    Do you actually care about how cute a guy looks? I mean I've been told I'm quite good looking but she does seem to be secretly shallow (and I say secretly cause she seems to want everyone to think she's deeper than that)
    but when she goes out with a guy purely because he fit her physical ideal (and she drew pictures of him AND sent them to me knowing full well that I wouldn't appreciate this) then what other conclusion can I draw? (no pun intended)

    Maybe I still love her, but I've given up and for good reason, if she wants me she can come to me now... I'm done
    I'm glad I posted this so I can come back and remind myself

  4. #54
    ♪♫♪♫♪♫ luminous beam's Avatar
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    aw well...she sounds scared shitless of being hurt. i wonder what her dating past is like.


  5. #55
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    I've known her since 14yrs of age, dating past? honestly she doesn't really have one she's gone out with a few guys that have been totally wrong for her, seems like if she cant have her ideal guy she'll go for one that just seems interesting for the moment until she realizes that she cant stand him

    I honestly don't know why a girl would keep wasting her time while the guy that really loves her slips away slowly. I can't keep it up forever, I have to move on but I still want to see her happy

  6. #56
    Senior Member seamaid's Avatar
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    For what it's worth, I'm rooting for ya, Unique.

    I take hope in that at least you and the INFP girl like each other's personalities. Give it time and stand by her side--be her safe harbor, her "rock"--maybe something deeper might blossom from the friendship. A conscientious INFP won't use you just to feel better... she'll want the best for you too. And if she can't give you what you want from her, I would hope she has the grace to let you know that instead of stringing you along. I wouldn't totally give up anyhow... if you care about her that much, which it sounds like you do!

    Though we have to be prepared for any outcome, and what will be will be... I really want INFP/ISTP relationships to succeed too. Sigh...

  7. #57
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    This whole INFP/ISTP thing reminds me of when harry met sally

  8. #58
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hommefatal View Post
    I would say sexually types are often most attracted to their opposite type of thought.
    While romantically they are often most attracted to their opposite type of appearance.

    INFP -> ISTP
    INFP -> ENFJ
    That's pretty true for me
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  9. #59
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Udog View Post
    Sure. My ISTP friend's wife occasionally tells me about some of the elaborate romantic gestures he made when they were dating. NFs would be proud. This doesn't mean all ISTPs are this way, though.
    )
    hehehe, mine was actually the pick-you-up-in-the-parking lot and throw you over my shoulder type of guy.

    He is clueless about emo-endlessly so-but tends to speak via actions.

  10. #60
    Junior Member jo savage's Avatar
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    Ok, I'm sorry, but I've got this thing going on with an INFP and I'm freakin confused. Maybe if everything could just pause and I could get back to it later...but I can't and I'd like feedback from you wonderful people.
    So I was at school for a semester and met this really gorgeous INFP guy through school and rockclimbing. However, with me being a freshmeat freshman and him being five years older (non-traditional school, if you transfer in you have to start all over, and he transfered in after years elsewhere) I pretty much thought all of his advances where him eyeing me as prey (I didn't know his MBTI then).
    I hung out with him and his friends a couple of times when he would invite me along. We would go rockclimbing (yes, isn't that perfect?). But I pretty much blew him off and ended up dating a guy my own age. I left after one semester and returned to my parents' house, a state away. I did not keep in touch with him. I didn't really know him even while I was at school.
    I went back to visit at the end of the second semester and broke up with the boy I had been dating because he was psycho and it was dumb with the distance and all anyway. Then I ran into INFP one morning when there was no breakfast on campus and he took me out to breakfast. Then we ended up hanging out all day and for the remaining 4 days of my trip. Then summer came and we didn't talk for 2 months while he was over-seas but I thought about him all of the time and have written many letters to him that I have told him about but never have any intention of handing over because I sound completely irrational in them, and it's just really way too much. So last week, after he got back state-side, I went to visit him at his parents' house which is 1/2 day drive away. I had been looking forward to this trip, but about 2 weeks before this trip I suddenly seemed to loose interest and was really not that excited about going to see him because I figured he was not that into me since he hadn't really tried to keep in touch. But I went anyway. I find out from his parents that I'm one out of like literally three people he has ever brought home. So I'm like wow I must be special whoopie! And we have a great time, we do all sorts of things like swim and explore, have tickle fights, and he reads classics to me (which just seals the deal). Sometimes I'm wary of how vibrant or upbeat I act because I can be both extremely childish (playful) but switch to serious conversation mode. And I just feel like I'm overwhelming him and I don't want to scare him off. Oh and we have great sex and he likes to cuddle which really is nice and he told me things that seemed very personal/important to him that i don't get the feeling he's shared with others. and he has a playlist full of songs that make him think about me, and they are all pretty romantic.
    But now that I've left, I'm acting completely CRAZY. I don't know who I am. I've emailed him and texted him much more than I ever have before and I call him and I'm so upset that he doesn't ever reply to anything but sends an occasional "I miss you" text at night when he's in bed trying to fall asleep. And then yesterday (lock me up now, please!, make it padded) I call him and he doesn't answer and I leave a voicemail that basically goes like this "Hi 'John,' i'm really sorry to have to do this over voicemail I'd really rather do this in person but I obviously can't do that so I just wanted to let you know that I love you SO SO much."


    ....yeah i've completely lost my f-ing mind.
    so after I leave this darn message i vow to myself to not contact him at all, just wait for him to call me when he feels like it. so he calls me the next day wanting to talk about the message. and we have this 30 minute conversation which is me stating all sorts of disclaimers like:
    i don't expect you to return these feelings.
    i don't expect you to be calling me.
    i don't expect anything from you basically. and he had to tell me his whole take on it, and then tell it to me again in different terms because i didn't understand what he said the first time, i thought he was telling me to let go. but he wasn't he was just saying he doesn't want me to start at a new school this fall and feel like i need to be thinking about him. and he clearly stated that he cares deeply about me. and i told him well, i will be, i can't not think about you. and he's just super wary. and i feel like i have only pushed him further into his shell.
    I'm sorry this post is so g/d ridiculous. I just don't feel like pro-reading it. I just, gah, i don't know.
    when i am at school away from him i will be thinking about him a lot. i will plan trips to see him. i will most likely flirt with a ton of guys on campus, but that doesn't mean i like him any less, and i think he will assume i will be flirting and he won't think i care about him. but i don't want to go about telling him i care about him all the time because i just sound f-ing crazy if i do that.
    sorry sorry sorry
    will do many backbends for those who feel like lending thoughts.

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