I was assuming by connect he meant to share personal-feeling stuff. & I don't think many ESTPs care much about that.
The stronger the Se, the more the need to connect in a more fun filled fashion. We are not sappy people, or over joyed, or anything like that. We can fake the expression, some of us arent very good, but I try to because I care. Not because of who I am or to get anything from the person. I know some people need and like that. My fear is screwed up, my emotional expression is screwed up, I have a lot of screwed up issues in that realm. Its not that I avoid them, I just need to be worked with in a different fashion. Thats why "minimal eye contact". When I want to look you in the eyes I will. Has noting to do with lieing or deciet.
I need distraction though, something else to take up a part of my focus. I personally dont get over stimulated by distractions, its almost calming because of the lack of focus on me.
Take what I say with a grain of salt, because that's all it is compared to the ocean of complexity when it comes to actions and real life.