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Thread: ESTPs: are you vulnerable or insecure? How?

  1. #21
    Lay the coin on my tongue Array SilkRoad's Avatar
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    May 2009
    6w5 sp/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    There is that angle as well. But I was thinking about, who do you do it for? In the extreme are others pawns in your show?
    At an extreme that could be dangerous narcissism, and I could see it happening with unhealthy ESTP. Playing with people like it's a game, or being interested in them only in the way that they respond to you, not in their well-being as human beings.

    Mind you, that's hardly limited to ESTP, but they'd probably be especially skilled at it!
    Enneagram 6w5 sp/sx


  2. #22
    Senior Member Array tibby's Avatar
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    Nov 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    Hi Tibby!
    Could you please elaborate on the blue/bolded/italicized portion of your statement above?
    I'm having trouble understanding it.
    My interpretation of that logic is as follows:

    IF "lack of willingness to be insecure and vulnerable" IS a big WEAKNESS
    BEING "willing to be insecure and vulnerable" IS a big STRENGTH

    So, that being said, could you please explain to me WHY you conisder that: BEING "willing to be insecure and vulnerable" IS a big STRENGTH?

    What added value, what benefit, what advantage does BEING "willing to be insecure and vulnerable" add to one's life?
    This is the part I don't understand.
    Looking forward to your response!
    When I dealt with an ESTP I've never witnessed such resilience (that's a good word for it) to whatever life had to offer and stamina, but I never witnessed much... "Inner guidance of feelings" either. Like as if life was just straight-forward for him. Much was based on experiences and not much focus was put into feelings as such.

    I'm not sure if I can explain it better. It would maybe make sense when thinking about the cognitive functions, Fi is ESTPs achille's heel according to Socionics theory... This is taken from Socionics website (SLE = roughly MBTI ESTP):

    "Introverted ethics
    SLEs have trouble evaluating the internal emotional state of others unless it is accompanied by a visible emotional expression. When unable to do so, they become uneasy. When an individual expresses negative emotions, SLEs feel that they are unable to offer the support needed; they get uncomfortable and confused, and as a result, will not respond appropriately to the situation or will react in a way which is unhelpful to the individual. SLEs themselves constantly seem emotionally guarded, and so very rarely will anyone actually have the chance to "comfort" the SLE in the everyday use of the word. The best way to do so is to let the emotion run its course.

    SLEs often tread carefully when it comes to interpersonal relationships because they recognize their inherent weakness in this function. They feel the need to not only be respected, but also to be held dear by others, precisely because they feel inept when it comes to relationships. Often their behavior will have the opposite effect of what they were hoping for; if they are trying to protect someone, that someone may view their "protection" as pure jealousy, and thus will attempt to break away. The SLE will respond with further limitations in order to counter what they believe is irrational rebelliousness, perhaps causing a breakdown of said relationship. Despite this, SLEs can without extra effort manage to maintain a superficial - purely physical or formal - relationship. Their IEI duals, however, have an understanding of SLEs; they know how to react with Fe in accordance with the SLE's mood, and thereby tactfully avoid incurring any misunderstanding.

    To ease their doubts about their relationships with others, SLEs are sincere when it comes to establishing new bonds with others; they feel it is important to inform others of their true nature so that they will not be taken by surprise when the SLE acts in a certain way. Likewise, the SLE will often prefer to take the initiative in establishing new friendships and relationships. This is partly due to the fact that SLEs fear psychological distance; taking a more upfront and aggressive approach would allow him to more accurately observe those around him, while removing the possibility of one's gradual avoidance of the SLE.

    SLEs are under the impression that they might gain respect or admiration from others, but can never be truly loved by anyone. Sometimes, SLEs can become paranoid about their relationships with others; they often mistrust declarations of affection, and so can appear insecure."

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