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Thread: Ask an ESTP

  1. #11
    Senior Member Agent Jelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinker683 View Post
    As a quiet introvert, what's the best way I can grab an ESTP's attention and keep it?
    have crazy wild unforgettable sex!

  2. #12
    Not Your Therapist Sinmara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Ok, serious question.

    My impression is that a healthy ESTP is likely to be extremely devoted in a relationship. However, practically the moment the relationship ends you're capable of moving on with great speed and very little regret. Is that more or less correct, or am I off?

    Also, are ESTPs a type particularly likely to cheat, or is that not really type-related? A lot of the descriptions I've read tend to suggest that they are, but I don't know if that's just stereotype.
    Your first assessment is 100% correct. I am absolutely, body and soul devoted to the person I have committed myself to. But if the relationship ends, why should I sit and mope and make myself miserable for weeks or months on end? What's over is over and I man the hell up and move on. Of course I'll still have some feelings lingering from the past relationship that I'll need to deal with, but those are completely my own thing. I'm not going to let them interfere with my new prospects. I'm very good at emotion compartmentalization and not letting unrelated issues cross-pollinate or whatever.

    As for your second point, I don't think so. I make sure a relationship is completely over before I move on to someone else. BUT, and this has been something I've had to deal with -- I have said we are done, I've pretty much immediately found someone else, but the person I broke up with isn't emotionally disconnected yet so they assume that a) since they are not done yet, I am cheating on them by moving on to someone else or b) they don't understand how I have moved on so quickly, so they assume that it was a pre-existing relationship and that I had been cheating on them and this other person is why I left.

    What they don't realize is that dude, if I was cheating on you I'd fucking tell you. No, really. I don't pull punches when it comes to breakups, you're getting a full debriefing of how and where you fucked up. I see it as a learning experience to be applied to their next relationship.
    Never wrestle with a pig. You will get dirty and the pig will enjoy it.



  3. #13
    Not Your Therapist Sinmara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinker683 View Post
    As a quiet introvert, what's the best way I can grab an ESTP's attention and keep it?
    I love someone who can surprise me. Pull out that rapier wit of yours and make me laugh. Making me laugh is very very very important. I cannot, oh god I cannot be with a person who makes dry toast look interesting.

    I notice the little things. Make it clear that you're paying attention to me when I talk by taking me to a restaurant I talked about last week or get me some little thing I had expressed interest in before. Oh I love little just-because gifts. I personally am an open book, and I think most ESTPs are in a way, so if you just listen and pay attention she will pretty much tell you everything you need to do.

    Being an introvert also works in your favor because I love to dig around and discover things. The fact that you're not just out there hollering at the world means that I get to discover you myself. Whenever I discover something new about an introvert I'm like "Ooooooooo!" and I feel as though I have found a shiny.

    Quote Originally Posted by Agent Jelly View Post
    have crazy wild unforgettable sex!
    And do this!
    Never wrestle with a pig. You will get dirty and the pig will enjoy it.



  4. #14
    Not Your Therapist Sinmara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uncommonentity View Post
    Seeing as you really like to win. How's it feel when you lose?
    It's not very often that I lose. But when I lose, I take it in stride because I know I gave it my all (and probably cheated my ass off, not gonna lie) and someone else was obviously better than me. I then assess what they did that I didn't and try to incorporate it for next time. Honestly, why get all worked up over losing when you can see it as a learning experience?
    Never wrestle with a pig. You will get dirty and the pig will enjoy it.



  5. #15
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Agent Jelly View Post
    have crazy wild unforgettable sex!
    Which would then lead me to ask: How does one go about seducing an ESTP but I think Pettycure just answered that

    Quote Originally Posted by Pettycure View Post
    I love someone who can surprise me. Pull out that rapier wit of yours and make me laugh. Making me laugh is very very very important. I cannot, oh god I cannot be with a person who makes dry toast look interesting.
    What's eerie about this statement is how my ESTP dance partner/roommate said damn near the exact same thing word for word

    I have a *very* dry sense of humor and once I get comfortable around someone I start to let my tert-Ti/inf-Ne let it's hair down. It's not something I do easily though

    That being said, I've found that being incredibly nice and honest seems to win them over initially

    Quote Originally Posted by Pettycure View Post
    I notice the little things. Make it clear that you're paying attention to me when I talk by taking me to a restaurant I talked about last week or get me some little thing I had expressed interest in before. Oh I love little just-because gifts. I personally am an open book, and I think most ESTPs are in a way, so if you just listen and pay attention she will pretty much tell you everything you need to do.
    *furiously scribbles on his notepad*

    Quote Originally Posted by Pettycure View Post
    Being an introvert also works in your favor because I love to dig around and discover things. The fact that you're not just out there hollering at the world means that I get to discover you myself. Whenever I discover something new about an introvert I'm like "Ooooooooo!" and I feel as though I have found a shiny.
    Good to know!

    Quote Originally Posted by Pettycure View Post
    And do this!
    I shall make an ernest effort of it

    Thank you for your responses ladies. I was just curious to see how your answers compared to my own observations about my roommate
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  6. #16
    Senior Member Agent Jelly's Avatar
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    I thought ESTPs were the seducers, not the seduced? =P

  7. #17
    Senior Member uncommonentity's Avatar
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    Do you ever find yourself being eaten alive by loneliness?
    Is it that you're afraid of commitment or are just picky when it comes to a suitor?
    Why do you sometimes settle for second best?
    Where does the insecurity stem from as ESTPs tend to be an attractive bunch?
    Do you find it irritating when people confuse everything you do/say as flirting?
    Am I correct in assuming as a type you don't kiss and tell?
    Do you grow sick of being considered childish due to your playful sense of humor?
    Would you say you lean more toward the bad boys? If so, what attracts you to them?

    This is my 300th post. I dedicate it to the ESTPs of the world.

    I've always wondered why ESTPs tend to shy away from technology in general despite using the internet to communicate with real life friends and family it's hard to find an ESTP on a forum. Do you still consider it a realm for geeks who don't get pussy? It's just I've only ever heard of you guys using computers for music and close knit social interactions.

    Such interesting music tastes to boot!

    Okay, time to crawl out of your asses.
    Veni, Vidi, Cessi.

  8. #18
    Not Your Therapist Sinmara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Agent Jelly View Post
    I thought ESTPs were the seducers, not the seduced? =P
    I wouldn't call it seducing so much as it is catching our attention.

    @uncommonentity Your avatar is really fucking disturbing and I have to run, will answer tomorrow.
    Never wrestle with a pig. You will get dirty and the pig will enjoy it.



  9. #19
    Senior Member lauranna's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Agent Jelly View Post
    have crazy wild unforgettable sex!
    This works on ISTPs too. (for the record...)

  10. #20
    Not Your Therapist Sinmara's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by uncommonentity View Post
    Do you ever find yourself being eaten alive by loneliness?
    Only after prolonged periods of no social interaction. I need some interaction with people, even if it's only on a superficial level like at work. I once went three months basically shut up in my apartment. Oooooooh I was so depressed.

    Is it that you're afraid of commitment or are just picky when it comes to a suitor?
    Not afraid of commitment (seriously, this stereotype is irritating the fucking shit out of me -- how many times do we ESTPs need to say we commit with the ferocity of a rabid shrew before people will believe us?), but I am very picky when it comes to a suitor. I have very clearly defined standards and I won't settle on someone that doesn't meet them. If they start out meeting them but they slip I will try very hard to figure out what happened and fix the problem, but if it's not working they're gone. I am only willing to damage my calm for so long for the sake of someone else's butthurt feelings before I say enough.

    Why do you sometimes settle for second best?
    I don't.

    Where does the insecurity stem from as ESTPs tend to be an attractive bunch?
    I don't have an insecurity problem. If anything, I have an overconfidence problem. A review from my store manager (whom I rarely speak to) says that I'm too timid about enforcing my authority; when I told my supervisor, whom I speak to daily and get along very well with (she's ESTP or ESFP), she LAAAAAUGHED so HAAAAAARD I thought she was going to choke on her cigarette. She says I throw my weight around plenty and I've got enough personality for three people.

    If anything, because everyone's got their little insecurities, the only thing I can think of is that people tend to not stay friends with me for very long. It can be upsetting, especially when I liked the person and had become attached, and it leaves me with a constant lingering doubt with my friends and loved ones when they'll decide to pick up and walk off. People like me until they get to know me, and then they don't like me anymore. It's like they have this idea of what they thinkI am in their head, and they're convinced that that is the person they are talking to, and when they eventually get that little perception bubble shattered and they get to actually know me, they act as though I've been two-faced and betrayed them somehow because I misrepresented myself.

    Hey, dumb people who did this. Yeah, you. All those things I said that you assumed were for shock value? They were not for shock value. I say precisely what I mean and nothing less. Ugh. I discussed this with me INTP boyfriend last month or so and he was utterly perplexed. He caught on immediately that I really am this larger-than-life personality that I present myself to be. The outside matches the inside. It's just so damn obvious. Why do people have such a hard time understanding this? I am not so impossible to get to know if people would pay the hell attention. </rant> ;P

    Do you find it irritating when people confuse everything you do/say as flirting?
    Well, yeah. Sometimes. I think people mistake my behavior for flirting because most everything I say is heavily laced with innuendo and double entendre and is combined with a very goofy kind of silliness. I'm a sexual person by nature and it just sort of bleeds into everything I say or do. Many of the people who become close friends understand this and take it for what it is, but your average person does not communicate this way so people can get confused.

    Am I correct in assuming as a type you don't kiss and tell?
    Depends on how fantastic it was. I might need to brag.


    Do you grow sick of being considered childish due to your playful sense of humor?
    Yes. It's as though grownups aren't allowed to giggle.

    Would you say you lean more toward the bad boys? If so, what attracts you to them?
    No. Far from it; I'm attracted to very calm, very sweet people with a particular sort of innocence to them. I don't want a bad boy. I want someone who is nice, who will treat me well, who will do things like put a candybar in my purse because they know my blood sugar gets low and I constantly forget to pack snacks, who will not judge me for my lack of compassion for my fellow man because I genuinely think they don't deserve it, who won't take the blunt things I say personally, and who won't try to dominate me or treat me like I can't make my own decisions. I don't want someone who challenge my authority, I want someone who will challenge my mind and makes my life exciting for the simple fact that they are in it.

    This is my 300th post. I dedicate it to the ESTPs of the world.

    I've always wondered why ESTPs tend to shy away from technology in general despite using the internet to communicate with real life friends and family it's hard to find an ESTP on a forum. Do you still consider it a realm for geeks who don't get pussy? It's just I've only ever heard of you guys using computers for music and close knit social interactions.
    We're not technology shy. Far from it. We fucking love this shit. We're usually just too busy out being out in the world and actually doing things with a network of real, physical people to use internet social networking websites like Facebook or twitter or forums. We're not shy, we're busy.

    Such interesting music tastes to boot!
    Yeah, they do tend to be all over the place.

    Okay, time to crawl out of your asses.
    Do you mind wiggling around a bit to loosen things up on your way out, I'm kind of backed up today.
    Never wrestle with a pig. You will get dirty and the pig will enjoy it.



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