[MBTI General] INJF vs. ESFP / ISFP

[Crescent Fresh]

What have been your experience with INFJs?

Lately, I've found two of my close friends are ESFP and we barely had any conflicts as compared to other types. ISFP touches my heart the most but since she's actually my mother, there were lots of frictions but personality wise, I've always wanted be like her.

I would like to know a bit more based on your past experience, and would love to know more SP types as well!

 

[jixmixfix]

my sister is INFJ and she's going to merry an ESFP they get along really well and they're really happy together.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

I just noticed that most SP prefer to post on blog rather than here.

 

[21%]

The SFPs I know are very easy to get along with. I've got an ISFP friend who is the sweetest person in the world

They have this 'breezy' quality that I really admire

 

[Lightyear]

I am an INFJ and my experiences with xSFPs have been mixed. They are very sweet and lighthearted and fun to be around but each time I realise after a while that we seem to be coming from different planets. They see things far more simplistic than I do which gives them a pure-heartedness but also can make them appear naive, irony and cynicism seem to be lost on the ones I have met. In general they are too in the moment for me which makes it hard to discuss things from the past or future possibilities, they don't care that much but want to have fun now which after a while starts to bore me because I need more complex interactions than just fluff and games.

It's almost as if xSFPs are missing a certain edginess that I need in a person, they are not as interested in looking at different layers and analyzing than I am, but they are more like butterflies and there is not much for me to hold on to.

 

[ReflecTcelfeR]

I actually decided I was an SFP on finding out that most of my friends are IxFJ's. A very good friend of mine being INFJ. You said it. We just kind of click, it's really cool because we just don't argue or fight. We can be serious and we can joke around. Pretty cool.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

I actually decided I was an SFP on finding out that most of my friends are IxFJ's. A very good friend of mine being INFJ. You said it. We just kind of click, it's really cool because we just don't argue or fight. We can be serious and we can joke around. Pretty cool.

What were you before then?

 

[Crescent Fresh]

It's almost as if xSFPs are missing a certain edginess that I need in a person, they are not as interested in looking at different layers and analyzing than I am, but they are more like butterflies and there is not much for me to hold on to.

That sounds exactly as my mother! Though I have to say despite of ISFPs conventional approach to life with simplicity, I think I've learned the most from her about cherishing the "now" and to be appreciative of all the less finer things in life. It certainly helps me to keep me grounded at all times.

 

[InvisibleJim]

ISFP/ESFP would win hands down in a deathmatach with an INFJ.

 

[Crescent Fresh]

ISFP/ESFP would win hands down in a deathmatach with an INFJ.

I appreciate your intended misinterpretation of my thread title, though I would appreciate more if you can share your insights!

Are you an iNTJ btw?

 

[wolfy]

I really don't know, I've gotten along with infj on here pretty well. Their posts are sometimes a little long for my attention span but I appreciate their ability to make you feel welcome. infj have a bite but they're also really good at giving compliments.

 

[CurlyJoe]

xSFPs... see things far more simplistic than I do which gives them a pure-heartedness but also can make them appear naive.... In general they are too in the moment for me which makes it hard to discuss things from the past or future possibilities...

It's almost as if xSFPs are missing a certain edginess that I need in a person, they are not as interested in looking at different layers and analyzing than I am, but they are more like butterflies and there is not much for me to hold on to.

Ouch. I'm an ISTP, not an xSFP, but I relate to enough of that description for it to hurt a little. (Who am I kidding, it would take a hell of a lot more than that to hurt an ISTP.)

My current girlfriend is an INFJ and so was my last, and this after never having dated an NF before that. It's been quite an experience. We (current gf and I) agree that we would have hated each other 20 years ago, but now that we're in our early forties we are able to tolerate the differences and hope to learn something from each other.

I'm a simple guy, but that doesn't mean that I can't handle complexity. However, I'll try to use my analytical skills to boil that complexity down to simple principles that will make life easier. My girlfriend, however, will take simple things and make them more complex by trying to read meanings into them (many, many meanings built upon few facts). She trusts that her uncanny intuition will lead her to correct conclusions based on limited information, but I have a lot less trust in her intuition. She has shared a few of these conclusions with me that were sooooo off base that it scares me to think about how many other conclusions she could be jumping to.

 

[SilkRoad]

I'm not sure if I have any close(ish) ESFP friends. I have one fairly close friend who I think might well be one. I have to admit that I've been kind of prejudiced against ESFPs in the past because I think I've met lots of people in big groups who behave like the worst ESFP stereotypes. However, I'm sure quite a lot of those people were other types as well, likely including a lot of ESFJs. Any types in groups all together behaving like the stereotype of one type, not a good thing...

If this friend I'm thinking of is ESFP, she's very cool and caring, is able to attract people (of either gender, in various ways) more easily than me, etc. She tends to prattle on which can be a bit annoying, but no big deal. I'm not sure if she's ESFP though. Could also be ENFP or even ENFJ.

I have a friend who I'm pretty sure is ISFP. She's great, except for a couple of frustrations: I don't think we'll ever really go that deep, and she can be a bit flaky (doesn't answer texts, etc). However...she's really laid back, genuinely tolerant in a good way, doesn't get stressed and takes things as they come, is an introvert but does "extrovert" extremely well and has a variety of friends and a good social life (a bit like me except I think she comes across more social), etc. Also artistic (a highly talented artist) and playful. A good friend to have, though we may never be super-close in the way I think of it.

I also have a probable ISTP friend. Cool guy, laid back, weird sense of humour, likes guns and bikes, more flexible morality than mine. We've had a very pleasant casual friendship with occasional moments of closeness. He really opened up to me a few times which I was touched by as I don't think he does it much (and it wasn't one of those "BE MY THERAPIST!!!!" things that has caused me problems with guys especially.)

There was nothing between us, but I have to admit that in theory at least I'd like to try having an ISTP boyfriend. I think my ex may have been ISFP, but his main problems were/are immaturity and selfishness, which can certainly affect any type! He might also have been INFP.

 

[Simi]

My current? (we're not really talking) best friend is an ESFP.

Things aren't panning out like they usually do because of some decisions I made on my part that she was highly (and hypocritically) judgmental about.

She was a lot of fun, very supportive for the most part and there for me emotionally for the three years we were on-and-off best friends, though. She was kind of a bimbo though, there were always things she would never be able to understand. She treated me like I was a two year old, too. I hate it when people try to baby me or act like they know what I can take on, but I don't.
Once we got into high school we kind of started to drift apart, but she's just trying to hold on by a thread /:

I've always had a soft spot for INFJs. My dad is an INFJ, sister used to test out as one, and so was the longest crush I ever had. INFJs are awesome, really there for me emotionally.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

hey now, lets not assume all xSFP's are shallow. we can be quite diverse depending upon our enneagram. and even many of the more light hearted ones, from what i see, tend to hold more within than to share openly their thoughts. or they may just in general be more insecure and use Fi in a very weak way.

i've actually got two INFJ friends i'm quite fond of. and our relationships with one another aren't shallow at all. they used to be two of my favorite people to sit down with and discuss life with. past, present and future.

one of the two INFJ's is a history and literature buff though, and does tend to make jokes that go far over my head. he's a bit of a phobic 6, and so his anxiousness can make me feel a bit nervous at times, too. but overall, i love the kid and have and would do just about anything for him.

the other INFJ and i used to be very good friends. however, due to petty dramas that have occurred in our group of friends, she talks to me less these days. basically me and my ex began having problems and i felt most comfortable talking with her about the issues than with any other friend. we started to hang out even more so than usual. eventually, my ex also came out and said that he had a crush on her, which she felt should have compromised our friendship with one another. it had no effect on how i felt towards her. over time, we began to hang out less again, but that is just in general how i am with people. she felt as though i was only getting close to her because of insecurities with my ex and to keep close watch on her. makes me kind of sad, as i genuinely found her to be a great person and friend, which was why i opened up to her so much. so basically she has the wrong impression of me these days. we still talk and get along, but we're not close anymore. really only hanging out when with our group of friends.