(What the freak is up with this forum and multi-quoting now? They really need to fix this shit.)
In my friend, she has tons and tons of feelings, and they all seem derived internally, and she doesn't pay much attention to what's going with others Feelings, or think about how her feelings compare to others or effect others. She seems Se because she very much so lives in the moment. She doesn't think of past or future. She seems most attracted to things she can experience with her 5 senses, and anything ethereal or imaginative completely escapes her.
This is just my description of how I see my friend use Fi and Se. I don't see all Fi-Se users in this way. There is a scale or range to its use and depends on the user, and there are other parts to Fi and Se that i haven't described here, as well. I'm certainly not an expert on it.
Yeah, I've seen the "Fi" description you gave go either way. I guess it's because I tend to associate duty or rule-based concern as being self-centered, though that's not always true. It's really difficult to generalize about everyone. That's why I absolutely hate these function descriptions, because they're so slippery and subjective that you really can't seem to use them as a general rule for everyone. Yes, most of the SFPs I've known have shown generous affection for others. I think it's just a product of being soft-hearted.
I can tell you exactly why this would happen, as I see it in myself. (Especially when I was younger and less able to deal with things.)
Being stuck in the moment has it's major flaws. First of all, in moments that are not the most thrilling and happy, the moment is all that you really have. And sometimes it really, really feels like nothing will ever be. Except for this moment. Sometimes the thought of the future is extremely stressful as well. Lacking insight into what may happen next can cause some major panic stricken moments. The "what nexts?" Are really like
" WHATS NEXT!!!??" Like every second of every day can turn into this big roller coaster ride. There have been times when i've thought about myself as one who always lives in the third act. I really hate drama. But sometimes drama happens when you are literally taking life second by second with little planning.
One of the descriptions of ESFP said that if we give any thought into anything outside of what's going on it can send us wallowing in despair. I have an anxiety disorder myself caused by all these dynamics. Se-Fi is an anxiety disorder. Once I got older and things started to develop, things were fine. Whew. Now I can think an entire week in advance if I have to! She's probably just a negative, underdeveloped ESFP.
Word. Except for the part about being so emotional, I totally feel you on that. I feel caught up in a continual catch-22. It's not all fun and games being an SP because life is for real and if you can't plan ahead just a little bit it's hell.
What's funny is that my parents were SO fucking concerned that I wouldn't be able to get my shit paid and would fall behind and crap by not writing down transactions in my checkbook, but I've done way better than they ever have. All I do is check my monies and I'm pretty good about remembering bills coming up, probably because I've been so traumatized by their lack of ability to get things taken care of (irony that they're ENTJ and ESFJ).
But as for responsibility, I have a super low attention span and end up slacking off on everything from school to finding a job. I'm kind of an idiot about that. Still trying to figure out how to improve.
And when I get depressed, yes. I feel like that's how it's always been and always will be. Well, I'm pretty optimistic and still figure there'll be a way out, but sometimes that's only a kind of dead mental assertion and all I know is the pain I'm currently in.
Actually, SJ's have been very helpful to me. (The most helpful) in overcoming this third act problem. Just living by example. (AKA just be yourself.) I've always envied their ability to pay their bills before they ran out of money in their paycheck. They never would show up to work with their hair wet and complaining that their gas tank is on empty, or they got pulled over for speeding. (I speed because I'm late because I was dealing with some other things that came up that I had no foresight about.) Just watching their actions has brought out my Te and taught me how to use it. It's embarrassing walking in to class at the very last second without your book only to have the ISFJ next to you let you look on. I think over time that SJ's have been the most idolized for me when dealing with this particular matter. (I still live this way a lot, but have managed to water it down a bit.)
Yes, yes, yes. And they seem to enjoy life to boot. I don't wanna be as crazy meticulous as they are or cut out all enjoyments but I idolize them for that all the same.
And amen to unexpected things coming up all of a sudden. Sometimes I feel like people don't get that. It's not that I was slacking off, I just seriously didn't see something coming (which at times appears impossible to me, but somehow Guardians tend to guess those things beforehand, hah).
I'm glad you're okay.
