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[MBTI General] ISTP ignoring INTJ

fragrance

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I have a female ISTP colleague at university. We had a course together and got along pretty well: same humor, went for drinks etc. The relationship between us was non-romantic, more like "female Bruce Willis" and "nerd version of Michael Corleone", so quite awesome actually.

But after the course has finished, she didn't reply to my messages anymore. When she didn't reply to my first one, I thought maybe she's busy. But now I sent a second one asking what courses she's taking next semester - no reply.

What do you think is going on?
 

Speed Gavroche

Whisky Old & Women Young
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She's just not sexually atracted with you, consider you as a simple pal. You shared a course together, the course is over, it was nice, you were nice, but now the course is part of the past, and you are too. Simple, and that has nothing to do with typology, just find another girl if you want to soak your penis.
 

fragrance

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That wasn't helpful at all... I already said it was non-romantic. And yes, she has a boyfriend, and I know I'm not her type. And she's not my type either. Jesus...
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
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Like any other type, if she's ignoring you, she's either busy/lost her phone/etc or more likely, isn't interested in pursuing a friendship. Nothing personal. Or type-related. :shrug:
 

Speed Gavroche

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That wasn't helpful at all... I already said it was non-romantic. And yes, she has a boyfriend, and I know I'm not her type. And she's not my type either. Jesus...

I'm kidding.:)

She probably has other thing to do than say to a guy what she will do together. As an ISTP myself, I can hardly know what I'll do next semester because I live too much in the present, probably the same for her, then she has nothing to answer to your message. If you are really friend, you will probaly find each other again naturally. Or not.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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OP: she could be really busy as you say, or being a flake. Either way, a sad manner to end something that was fun. I'm sorry for that.
 

Oaky

Travelling mind
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Do not pressure the ISTP to talk to you. It's alright to tell her things though without looking as though you wish a reply.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
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I'm thinking this is the 'in the moment'-thing they have going. She probably really enjoyed your company while your lives naturally crossed paths, but now that that's over, she's probably too distracted elsewhere to really go out of her way to keep those lives flowing together. It's not meant as an insult or as an 'you're not interesting' but more the result of her being in the moment...elsewhere, without you, as your lives atm aren't naturally intersecting. Chances are, if you run into her again when your lives happen to cross again, it'll be like you've just talked to her yesterday and everything is as it was before.
 

ChocolateMoose123

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I'm thinking this is the 'in the moment'-thing they have going. She probably really enjoyed your company while your lives naturally crossed paths, but now that that's over, she's probably too distracted elsewhere to really go out of her way to keep those lives flowing together. It's not meant as an insult or as an 'you're not interesting' but more the result of her being in the moment...elsewhere, without you, as your lives atm aren't naturally intersecting. Chances are, if you run into her again when your lives happen to cross again, it'll be like you've just talked to her yesterday and everything is as it was before.

We have a winner! :yes:
 

fragrance

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Like any other type, if she's ignoring you, she's either busy/lost her phone/etc or more likely, isn't interested in pursuing a friendship. Nothing personal. Or type-related. :shrug:

Nah, can't be. It was just way too cool. I know she's interested in maintaining a friendship. We may had some frictions along the J-P dimension, but that wasn't so tragic. No problems in the N-S either (almost always a deal-breaker) because she's close to INTP.

Dat bitch.

Yeah! Dat bitch!

OP: she could be really busy as you say, or being a flake. Either way, a sad manner to end something that was fun. I'm sorry for that.

Damn, she's quite a flake. I had to facepalm myself quite often while working with her.

I'm thinking this is the 'in the moment'-thing they have going. She probably really enjoyed your company while your lives naturally crossed paths, but now that that's over, she's probably too distracted elsewhere to really go out of her way to keep those lives flowing together.

She totally enjoyed my company! She also had this behavior (must be the S) of hitting me while I was laughing to my own thoughts. Somehow she always thought I was making fun of her.
 

Amargith

Hotel California
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No, that's not S. That's just something you INTJs do to drive other people gaga. Trust me, my own does that with me as well, and after 10 years, I still have to resist the urge to punch him for laughing at me, coz i *know* by now that he's not. Still doesn't feel like it and on insecure days, I do go paranoid and he does get punched. Just saying :alttongue:

Either way, consider yourself flattered you were able to keep the attention of an ISTP for that long and that she showed you she liked you. Not many can claim that. They're like huskies imo. They love cuddles, are dominant, have the most amazing eyes and get into all kinds of trouble. And..they answer to the Call of the Wild. Born escape artists, they'll break out and go wander about. If you're lucky, they come home in 2 hours. If not, they might stay away for a week..or not come home at all. Depends on how strong that Call was. Never doubt their love for their friends and family though, as you will be smooshed and cuddled upon the hypothetical return. You can try a very very *very* long lead, but most rebel hard against that :smile:
 

Speed Gavroche

Whisky Old & Women Young
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Send her a message and propose her to find you in a bar or something. Simple...
 

fragrance

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No, that's not S. That's just something you INTJs do to drive other people gaga.

Of course, it's their S: they continuously scan their environment. In this case I was just entertaining myself with some funny thoughts while she was talking to the others in the group. And then out of nowhere came a punch followed by a "You're so mean, you're always laughing at me".

They're like huskies imo.

Hey, I'm a husky too! Sometimes I'm even a giraffe. And when it gets dangerous I become a dinosaaaauuur. ROFL
 

Randomnity

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Of course, it's their S: they continuously scan their environment. In this case I was just entertaining myself with some funny thoughts while she was talking to the others in the group. And then out of nowhere came a punch followed by a "You're so mean, you're always laughing at me".
It's not S, it's presence of social skills.

If you're interacting with other people, you're assumed (rightly or wrongly) to be paying attention to the conversation, so if you laugh it's implied that you're laughing at something that was said.

You'd get the same reaction if you noticed something bizarre in the environment and laughed at it (assuming that in neither case you immediately explained the cause of your laughter). It's not an S-N thing.
 

fragrance

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It's not S, it's presence of social skills. If you're interacting with other people, you're assumed (rightly or wrongly) to be paying attention to the conversation, so if you laugh it's implied that you're laughing at something that was said.

Oh my... see I wasn't even laughing, but smirking. And I was smirking while I was surfing the internet on my laptop, though I was smirking because, as I said, I was thinking of some funny stuff.

And it really surprised me how she interpreted my smirking as making fun of her. The reason could have been something funny on the internet as well, or because of something that was said by someone else in the group.

Why didn't the others think I was making fun of them? They probably didn't even notice I was smirking (no extraverted sensing there), but she noticed! Although I was almost out of her sight, but in full view of the others in the group.
 

fragrance

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Send her a message and propose her to find you in a bar or something. Simple...

No, I won't do that. If she didn't reply to my second message, sending a third message would amount to stalking. When I see her at uni, I'll just punch her in the face... that should settle things. (I'm kidding okay, please no more social skills 101)
 

Giggly

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She either was never romantically interested, or she was interested and you waited to long to clarify that you liked her and the window of opportunity closed (i.e. she assumed you weren't interested) and she moved on to someone who was. Sorry, but it happens.
 
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