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  1. #1
    Senior Member Moonflower's Avatar
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    Default Entertainment conflicts with SPs.

    Sorry is this is silly, but it's actually a problem I need help with.

    On a good night with friends over, we like to sit back and watch/listen to some movies, TV series, anime, etc. If the people around are NFs, NTs, or SJs, it seems we can find something we agree on quite well. Such is usually the case with ISFPs, too. When it comes to ISTPs, ESTPs, and ESFPs, though, we're on. Another. Planet.


    I tend to like:
    -soft, emotional music which reminds me of feelings I've experienced
    -stories which revolve around human relations; romance, deep friends, and the power of love
    -soap opera-type dramas where the situations and relationships are actually realistic
    -material which has me constantly thinking about the world around me
    -I don't always need logic in the situations, since the one thing I do need is to relate to it
    -slow-pace


    ESFP, ESTP, ISTP friends like:
    -any music with a beat
    -hate predictability
    -stories which focus on action like gunfights, martial arts, and car chases
    -everything, to them has to make complete logical sense and be practical
    -fast-paced, always things happening


    I am not attempting to insult people. All types have their flaws and positive traits. I am just looking for some sort of understanding.

    Is there, like, any way we can come to agreement at all?

  2. #2
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Variety is the spice of life. You're not going to like the same things everyone else is, and that's OK. Fact is, if you don't have the same taste in movies/music, and the distinction is that great, you probably aren't going to come to an agreement, so just don't watch movies or listen to music with them, simple as that. You don't have to be the same friend in the same way to everyone.

    That doesn't mean there aren't other things you can share.

  3. #3
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    don't watch movies together, or take turns picking.

    I don't know, I have the same problem with my isfp, and we don't even have very different tastes.

    btw both your list and your SP friends' list of "cool movie things" sound super boring to me. Action movies vs. romance? I'll pass, lol. Everyone has different tastes, of course. And luckily, pretty much every genre has a few randomly kickass movies . Like I bet the SPs like fight club, and that's an amazing movie.

    (lol @ "soap-opera-like things"..."realistic")
    -end of thread-

  4. #4
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    Cook something together maybe? Or at least try to shake things up a bit... I don't really feel like to watch movies when hanging out with friends because it seems like a cop out on interacting somrhow
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  5. #5
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moonflower View Post
    Is there, like, any way we can come to agreement at all?
    No. Unless you start liking their shit, or they start liking your shit, or both.

    P.S., who actually likes predictability in a plot? Also, how can films or music be practical? And how can these ISTPs/ESTPs/ESFPs enjoy martial arts films AND require that films make logical sense (unless it's like...a Tae Bo instructional video or something)?
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  6. #6
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    i dated an esfp and we never wanted to watch the same movies. he liked action movies with as much violence and fight scenes as possible, and i just lose interest and need something with a good story/characters (although i like some campy or dumb movies). we got in a fight over seeing inception vs predator in theaters lol. the only stuff we could agree on was true blood and it's always sunny in philadelphia.

    musically we had different tastes but they don't seem as s/n related.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Bamboo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Orangey View Post
    ...how can films or music be practical? And how can these ISTPs/ESTPs/ESFPs enjoy martial arts films AND require that films make logical sense (unless it's like...a Tae Bo instructional video or something)?
    Is this a rhetorical question which is supposed to lead you to say that a stringent requirement for "logic" doesn't apply across all realms for most people?


    @ OP:

    You say you are trying to come to an understanding AND that you are trying to come to an agreement.

    The understanding part is simple enough: people are different and want different kinds of entertainment. Easy.

    The agreement is more complicated. Maybe you can take turns doing things. Maybe you can split into different groups and have separate activities. I'm sure people can take turns doing things.


    Example: A little while ago I visited my cousin (ESFJ). She likes having people over, having food, and conversation. Most of her friends are art types - dancers, hipsters, etc. I like to talk for a bit but then I get bored out of my mind. Last time I was there I ended up spurring some action by getting a group to go out and shoot some pool. Change of scenery, moving around, music, I liked all that. I respect that people have their own "thing." Some people seemed to really like that I did that, others were totally uninterested. That's ok. They just stayed behind.

    I like my cousin and she likes me but I understand we are different. So I don't bother her a lot and expect to always hang out with her because we have different paces.

    You might find a similar arrangement with your group of friends.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  8. #8
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Me and my old ISTP and ESFP roommates would each just sort of take turns picking movies. Even if it's a bad movie, you can usually toss in great commentary and still make the evening entertaining.

    But yeah, me and my other SP roommates didn't always agree on taste in movies... or music. My ISTP male roommate did enjoy a lot of action movies that I typically wouldn't go out of my way to watch. My taste are more like yours, I think. I like emotion, drama, fantasy, anime.... But I could still sit down and perhaps be entertained even if it's not necessarily my thing.
    My ESFP female roommate liked a lot of goofy children's animation or romantic comedies. Also not really my thing, but I could still sit with her and enjoy it, simply because her own commentary and personality would always make it interesting and fun.

    Things we did agree on: Avatar the last airbender. Heroes (seasons 1 through 4). Sonic racing (on Xbox). Playing Poker. Grilling out and drinking. Karaoke nights (youtube videos with lyrics and singing loudly into the remote).

    We certainly found ways to pull the whole house together, including our very reclusive ISTJ roommate.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by Moonflower View Post
    Sorry is this is silly, but it's actually a problem I need help with.

    On a good night with friends over, we like to sit back and watch/listen to some movies, TV series, anime, etc. If the people around are NFs, NTs, or SJs, it seems we can find something we agree on quite well. Such is usually the case with ISFPs, too. When it comes to ISTPs, ESTPs, and ESFPs, though, we're on. Another. Planet.


    I tend to like:
    -soft, emotional music which reminds me of feelings I've experienced
    -stories which revolve around human relations; romance, deep friends, and the power of love
    -soap opera-type dramas where the situations and relationships are actually realistic
    -material which has me constantly thinking about the world around me
    -I don't always need logic in the situations, since the one thing I do need is to relate to it
    -slow-pace


    ESFP, ESTP, ISTP friends like:
    -any music with a beat
    -hate predictability
    -stories which focus on action like gunfights, martial arts, and car chases
    -everything, to them has to make complete logical sense and be practical
    -fast-paced, always things happening


    I am not attempting to insult people. All types have their flaws and positive traits. I am just looking for some sort of understanding.

    Is there, like, any way we can come to agreement at all?
    Watch The Godfather together. And just remember, you came to me looking for a favour. And I helped. We are friends now.

  10. #10
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    You know some weird ESFPs if they always want everything to be logical.

    Oh yeah, watch comedy. It brings everyone together.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

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