I'm married to an ISTP, and being really duty-driven myself, I cannot wrap my head around his reaction to basic expectations (if someone who rarely cries is bawling, hug them. If a baby is crying, pick it up. If someone says, "hi", saying "hi" back is generally considered polite. That kind of thing.)
Is my husband just a royal jackass? Or is there some element I'm not taking into account here? A reasonable side that could be appealed to? I'm generally willing to lower my expectations, but it seems like no matter how far they're lowered, it gets taken down a rung or two further.
What I'm sure feels to him is logical energy conservation seems downright inconsiderate and cold to me. To the point that I'm getting fairly bitter about it. It's possible I'm being a jackass about it, and not realizing.