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  1. #41

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    Quote Originally Posted by cdal233 View Post
    Second, is my good friend through high school and college. I knew him growing up, but he became good friends in high school on the track team. He had this very intense drive that I found challenging, and we pretty much went at it. He ended up winning haha. We ended up both being the only two guys to stick it out through all 8 seasons in our class, out of like 20 that started out.

    In college, he is a Business Economics major, and ran a bit, now does triathlons somewhat leisurely. He's gonna be an accountant, but has pretty much stated that he isn't going to work in a cubicle his whole life, and it doing this until a more intriguing opportunity comes along. Something that made him hard to type (he agrees he's an ISTP), was he is also very religious, and he is questionably nice to pretty much everyone he meets. He basically mimics their exact behavior on instinct, and has these bursts of real excitement once you touch upon a topic that he actually cares about. He is social in a way that he is a pretty good looking guy, is nice to everyone, and mimics their behavior. This is how he tends to make/keep friends, and it works quite well. Some other of his passions are acting, video games, God, and every sport ever invented. He has no trouble being confident in pursuing any of these passions.

    He's had a good number of girls since and in high school... including two long relationships and another he is in right now with an INFP he met at my 21st bday party last year . He has a very laid back style and sense of humor coupled with his academics and never-ending athletics... that has no trouble getting and keeping girls. When in high school, I pretty much was the one in our small group of friends that talked to him about his gf at the time, and he never really went deeper than a logical analysis of the relationship. He does the same thing now. He's generally comfortable keeping his emotions with his girls between them and him, but they do exist (differing from my brother, who is very blatant about it... most likely because it's quite literally how he interacts with his gf all the time).

    Wow. Yeah, I identify with this guy's description a lot. Except for the athletics--I was born with messed-up knees and that kind of stunted the athletic area of my ISTP-ness. I've done weight lifting and horseback riding instead, but I find that I'm more competitive against myself than against others anyway.

    My IxTJ father's in ministry and I've always been very involved in the church; I also have an active interest in business and economics--more so than math/sciences.

  2. #42
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SahlainAnteth View Post
    Ack, yes. I can't stand chick flicks
    I've grown to like some of them, but the ultimate chick flicks... I can't handle them. I scoff at their intense feelings. August Rush is a good example of me thinking throughout the whole movie "omg, this would NEVER HAPPEN".

    I often have trouble reading between the lines or picking up on overly subtle hints in a conversation. Apparently my best buddy in high school had a crush on me for a while, and several of my guy friends in college, but I would never have known unless someone else told me. Even when I was told about a current situation, I would purposely ignore it. One of the reasons my fiance attained his position is that he fought through my stubborn refusal to acknowledge his attempts.
    I can't read between the lines at all. I can try to if I know I'm supposed to do it. Plenty of my friends have had crushes on me, but I don't pick it up until they very awkwardly work up the courage to ask me out (even after I've preached about the friend-zone).

    I'm really uncomfortable with showing--or being around someone who is showing--strong emotion. Even positive strong emotion. I'm generally pretty "up" and laid-back. My "down" times tend to result in apathy more than anything else. On the rare occasions I do get worked up, it's usually anger--and results in me punching a wall or something. I have trouble empathizing with people who are depressed/sad/upset. I sort of "feel" bad intellectually, but I don't really have any impetus to respond. Except perhaps to offer advice, which I know they don't really want and which I therefore withhold.
    I hate it when people get emotional around me. I never know what to do. One of my friends was freaking out about her boyfriend/fiance one time, crying on the phone, off the phone...at the mall. I felt like disappearing and wishing one of her other friends had been there 'cause I just didn't know what to say.
    I do the same thing with advice.

    With other people feeling bad, I just think "well, that sucks for you, but it doesn't have anything to do with me"

    I certainly don't trust my own feelings. Most unreliable source ever.

    When people say nice things to me, I don't really know how to react. I'm not sure if I just have to say "thanks " or if I need to return a compliment....or what?! AHHH!!!!

    I never dated in high school
    Me either. I got a couple of phone calls from guys, but I was never interested. I also went to the zomg-expensive-private schools in Honduras and I wasn't anything like the brats there.

    I'm pretty relaxed in social situations, don't have a problem meeting new people, and can seem downright extroverted at parties (sober--I don't drink), but I really am an introvert who can spend hours alone and not notice. I had to interview an elderly guy yesterday for a research project and after a 2.5 hour interview followed by supper with him and his wife, I was so drained that I felt physically sick and exhausted this morning.
    I'm much more talkative when I've had a drink. I even laugh louder.
    I definitely feel exhausted after being around people for too long. The best thing to do after work is to go home and eat by myself and be on my computer alone.

    Back to feelings - any time I have a real argument/fight with a friend...omg, exhaustion to the max. I woke up one morning and I was in the middle of a fight with one of my friends from the night before. I was well rested, but after I wrote one email back to him expressing my thoughts (I don't have feelings!!!), I was emotionally drained and tired the rest of the day.

    Oh--one last weird thing that has been mentioned elsewhere: I don't know if other female ISTPs get this a lot, but I've been told by a number of roommates and friends that before they got to know me well they found me quite intimidating. I've also been told that when I'm zoning--just staring into space thinking about nothing--that I get this look on my face like I'm gonna kill someone. I find this very irrational and silly. Especially since I'm rarely upset and usually laid-back to the point of apathy.

    Anyone else experienced this--personally, or with someone else?
    My best ESTP friend says he doesn't think I'm intimidating at all. However, other people think I'm intimidating because I'm so independent - which I think is a really stupid reason (I can't go depending on people my whole life. I've gotta do something for myself, and living alone gives me ample opportunity to do so). I'm guessing they also think this because I'll be perfectly honest about things and use little tact to say it. Somehow telling the truth earns one an intimidation label. *rolls eyes*
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  3. #43
    Senior Member JustDave's Avatar
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    I hate it when people get emotional around me. I never know what to do. One of my friends was freaking out about her boyfriend/fiance one time, crying on the phone, off the phone...at the mall. I felt like disappearing and wishing one of her other friends had been there 'cause I just didn't know what to say.
    I do the same thing with advice.

    With other people feeling bad, I just think "well, that sucks for you, but it doesn't have anything to do with me"

    I certainly don't trust my own feelings. Most unreliable source ever.

    When people say nice things to me, I don't really know how to react. I'm not sure if I just have to say "thanks " or if I need to return a compliment....or what?! AHHH!!!!


    For the most part I say nothing. Thankfully my friends and I have an understanding that although I'm great at dispensing practical advice I am not a "shoulder to cry on".

    If someone is really excited I usually smile and nod.

    Despite my online persona, IRL I'm not very effusive.

  4. #44
    Senior Member mcmartinez84's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustDave View Post
    If someone is really excited I usually smile and nod.

    Me too! It's hard for me to be excited for other people. It's nice that they're excited, but again, it doesn't have that much to do with me.

    Now that I think back, my mom and sister (both ISFJ's) had (have??) problems with me about things like this. They're super happy, excited about something and I just sit there. If they're upset, I show so little of anything, I can keep doing what I'm doing and they're freaking out the whole time - they don't know how I do it. My personality is a huge mystery to them a lot of the time. And then, of course, I say something about them or about the situation, I come off as completely insensitive and I become the worst human being in their lives. They call me "difficult" fairly regularly (although less frequent now, it usually happens when we spend enough time around each other, like on a family vacation).

    I read somewhere that ISFJ's are supposed to be an ISTP's source of advice and comfort...but really, they end up pissing me off, and when they call me "difficult" it makes me want to talk to them even less.
    The same site also said that INFP's were my nemisis, and actually, one of my best friends tested as INFP. Maybe the site was just wrong about matching types. :-/
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  5. #45
    Senior Member JustDave's Avatar
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    The problem I used to have with guardians especially, ISFJs, is they would offer to help me when they really didn't want to. Me, not reading between the lines, would say yes. However, unknown to me was the resentment against this caused.

    When I offer to help someone it is genuine. Silly me to think other would be the same way.

    Keep fighting the good fight. I've got to go back to work.

  6. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    Me too! It's hard for me to be excited for other people. It's nice that they're excited, but again, it doesn't have that much to do with me.
    My best friend gives the illusion of being excited due to the others' misunderstanding. They seem excited, she's laughing her ass off at them, though they don't know it, and just says "I'm not doing it. You're so stupid and crazy to have even said such nonsense," said calmy enough but reverts into laughter in the end. She likes to laugh at people at lot, sometimes hysterically, and I chime in after making sure no one was offended. (I can't help but laugh at laughter, even if I feel somewhat bad about it. Infectious beast!).

    I read somewhere that ISFJ's are supposed to be an ISTP's source of advice and comfort...but really, they end up pissing me off, and when they call me "difficult" it makes me want to talk to them even less.
    The same site also said that INFP's were my nemisis, and actually, one of my best friends tested as INFP. Maybe the site was just wrong about matching types. :-/
    Nope! It's an evolved INFJ like Moi! Someone who can be crazy and weird and understand you're going to be insensitive and explain to others when you can't as you're too flummoxded that people misunderstood you for being your entirely honest self reacting in the moment ("That was sheer stupidity," said as calmly as Death might say, w/e mood Death is in, "What? What, why're you looking at me?") and the evolved INFJ, such as myself , can explain to them exactly how that or they or others were stupid without coming off like an ass and making your words come up their throat while you're nonchantly thinking 'Why bother explaining, they won't understand!' to which they do understand 'They're actually understanding. This person is useful...'

    And you guys can be the bestest of friends, The End of That One Incident and CoverUp

    But really, it's silly to base friends or lovers, for the most part, on Types. An evolved person will be well balanced and will appeal to anyone.

  7. #47

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    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    With other people feeling bad, I just think "well, that sucks for you, but it doesn't have anything to do with me"

    I certainly don't trust my own feelings. Most unreliable source ever.

    When people say nice things to me, I don't really know how to react. I'm not sure if I just have to say "thanks " or if I need to return a compliment....or what?! AHHH!!!!
    Yeah, I have a hard time responding to complements, even from my fiance. I've gotten better at giving complements--through much practice and effort.

    I still hate touchy-feely-ness, you know, the "Oh hey! How are you doing!?!?" *fake hug * So AWKWARD.

    During high school I would stick my hand out for a handshake when meeting people to ensure that I would avoid hugs. An ENFP friend of my sister thought that this was hilarious and would make a big show of it.


    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    Me either. I got a couple of phone calls from guys, but I was never interested. I also went to the zomg-expensive-private schools in Honduras and I wasn't anything like the brats there.
    Ack, I don't envy you that. I was educated at home for elementary school and high school, which was awesome for me. I got to learn at my own pace (read a ton), my brilliant ENTP mother was able to tutor me in subjects I just didn't "get," and my flexible schedule allowed more time for working on side projects (my mother taught me how to refinish furniture and let me work as her assistant on various projects). It was a great situation for an ISTP

    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    My best ESTP friend says he doesn't think I'm intimidating at all. However, other people think I'm intimidating because I'm so independent - which I think is a really stupid reason (I can't go depending on people my whole life. I've gotta do something for myself, and living alone gives me ample opportunity to do so). I'm guessing they also think this because I'll be perfectly honest about things and use little tact to say it. Somehow telling the truth earns one an intimidation label. *rolls eyes*
    Yeah, my bluntness gets me in trouble a lot, and usually with friends around whom I feel comfortable to vent/confront. Total strangers or vague acquaintances get more of my introvert side and are therefore safer.

    I've also been told that it has something to do with the way I walk. Yeah, sounds like nonsense to me, but apparently I "stride with purpose" in a way that makes me appear confident and... intimidating. I don't get it. I definitely wouldn't interpret things that way, but then hey--I'm an ISTP. What do I know about interpretation?

  8. #48

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    Quote Originally Posted by mcmartinez84 View Post
    I read somewhere that ISFJ's are supposed to be an ISTP's source of advice and comfort...but really, they end up pissing me off, and when they call me "difficult" it makes me want to talk to them even less.
    The same site also said that INFP's were my nemisis, and actually, one of my best friends tested as INFP. Maybe the site was just wrong about matching types. :-/
    One my of the WORST working relationships of all time was with an IxFP who was directing a play for which I was the production designer. I had a terrible time communicating with her. At one point early on, I sent her an e-mail with some bland, bullet-point questions about different aspects of the play. I just wanted information from her so that I could move forward with my work.

    She somehow managed to find the e-mail threatening and called a meeting with me and the producer (an ENFJ former roommate of mine). I was flummoxed--why did we need a meeting for her to get me the information? We met over lunch, and the producer spent most of the time trying to act as translator. I felt like nothing was accomplished, but tried to leave on a non-threatening note saying, "well, if you don't have the information yet, then just get it to me whenever you can."

    The producer caught up with me later and told me that the director thought I was very angry with her. She had apparently read all manner of things into what I thought was a cut-and-dry conversation on my end. ARG! If I wasn't ticked before, then I was now.

    I was so glad to get that production finished. I felt like I couldn't say anything without having it twisted and misinterpreted, which then hindered my ability to do my job. At one point I had been telling her we needed to make a large purchase for safety reasons. She would not listen to me and kept putting it off. The board members agreed with me, but none of them wanted to rock the boat by siding with me. Only after several other people had said the same thing to her did she suddenly do an about-face, and act as though the whole thing had been her idea all along (as though enough people saying it somehow made it more true than when it was just me).

  9. #49
    Senior Member millerm277's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SahlainAnteth View Post
    I've also been told that it has something to do with the way I walk. Yeah, sounds like nonsense to me, but apparently I "stride with purpose" in a way that makes me appear confident and... intimidating. I don't get it. I definitely wouldn't interpret things that way, but then hey--I'm an ISTP. What do I know about interpretation?
    I've been told that by multiple people, I can't figure it out either.
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  10. #50
    Senior Member JustDave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by millerm277 View Post
    I've been told that by multiple people, I can't figure it out either.
    I know what you mean, it's neither a peppy upbeat shuffle nor an angry march.

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