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  1. #1
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Default Want to get back with my ISFP- What do I do

    I want to get back with my ISFP. We broke off almost a year ago. It was mutual. We have seen each other here and there, but haven't talked.

    My problem was basically I wasn't opening like I needed to, and this year off has given me a lot of time to think, and I know I want to be back with her.

    What do I do?

  2. #2
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    talk to her.
    -end of thread-

  3. #3
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    Yeah talk to her, see if she wants to meet up, find out how she is feeling about it, see what happens.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  4. #4
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    talk to her.
    Groundbreaking..................


    What kind of questions will she ask?
    Do I have to beg, shed tears and put on some kind of act, or will she be able to pick up on my sincerity?
    What are the No-Nos and dealbreakers?!

  5. #5
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    It's hard to know. You need more information from her. It really depends where she is in her life.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  6. #6
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    I didn't answer more specifically because nobody can, at least not these questions. If you talk to her about it you'll get a pretty good idea of what to do, if you listen.

    Unfortunately there's not really a magic formula for what to do, for any type. And rarely even any "non-nos" that aren't more or less applicable to most women (e.g. don't be a jerk or desperate)
    -end of thread-

  7. #7
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    If the problem was that you weren't opening up, maybe you should start by opening up.

    All of this sounds ridiculously simplistic, but apparently it's a problem for you if you've seen her but haven't spoken to her and broke up because you were being distant.

  8. #8
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Marmie Dearest View Post
    If the problem was that you weren't opening up, maybe you should start by opening up.

    All of this sounds ridiculously simplistic, but apparently it's a problem for you if you've seen her but haven't spoken to her and broke up because you were being distant.
    Yeah I figured that out over the last year that I was being tight. That's the easy part. It's what should I do to show her that I am a different man than I was at this point last year that I want info on, especially from the ladies.

    I've reached out to her, but they were awkward; I guess at those points I should have given some of those cues. But I wasn't really ready then, or sure, if I wanted to be back with her. Now I am.

  9. #9
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    WHat kind of things did you have trouble being open with her about?
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  10. #10
    Carerra Lu IZthe411's Avatar
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    ^ Well long story short, we have known each other a long time- and it was a continued cycle of do we want to be together or not. So the last time I asked her, really the first time I was really ready to try, she told me no, and didn't give me a good reason. Left me hanging. Then about 18 months later, she came back around, and I was guarded. I knew I liked her, but I wanted some assurance that she was in it for me, since we ended on what I saw as real awkward terms. I think she sensed that, and she was kind of tight as well. I just know I was very surface with her. I wasn't hiding anything, I just wasn't ready to really open up. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, or I thought that's what it was.

    Really there were external things happening that was affecting me- the largest of them was work. We got back together right after I changed jobs, and that was a big transition, and I didn't like my job. I didn't realize then how much that affected my attitude and outlook on things. Our relationship suffered as well. So after the break up last year it was about me- figuring out that I hated my job (really my boss), and figuring out that I have feelings (a big AHA moment), and that I had to stop being so tight, with friends, family, and all of that. Learning about the weaknesses and blindspots of my MBTI type, especially in relationships. Reconnecting spirtually and with my friends and family, all that important stuff. So by the end of the year I was a totally different person, more capable of dealing with her.

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