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  1. #31
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I'm curious. What is the general dynamic between an ISTP and an ENFP? I ask because my twin is an ENFP and she always got along well with the ISTPs circulating around me, but then again, ENFPs are easy to get along with and very friendly.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
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    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  2. #32
    Senior Member JivinJeffJones's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CestMoi View Post
    Well, we are actually in a long-distance relationship and have been married for just over a year (working on immigration to Canada - long story). Anyway, we had a period of time of 2.5 months where we did not talk due to a miscommunication.

    I went up to see him last week and we had a great time. However, his communication has been very guarded. Can anyone shed some insight? I feel like he doesn't trust me right now - just so you know, the miscommunication fault was due to both of us.
    Had your appearance significantly altered in any way since the last time he saw you? I'm not trying to make you feel insecure - just wondering.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I'm curious. What is the general dynamic between an ISTP and an ENFP? I ask because my twin is an ENFP and she always got along well with the ISTPs circulating around me, but then again, ENFPs are easy to get along with and very friendly.
    Not sure, exactly! LOL. It's one of the harder matches to find information on. I do agree, being an ENFP, that I'm easy to get along with and friendly. Sometimes, I can be a ball buster, though, so I have to watch out for that. I'd be curious to find some more information on this and am going to research it more so will report back.

    Had your appearance significantly altered in any way since the last time he saw you? I'm not trying to make you feel insecure - just wondering.
    Yep, I'm hotter! Actually, I am in a bit better shape though I was already fit to start with but the one big difference is that my hair has grown out a lot but I did this because I like it long myself and my husband asked me to do it because he really likes long hair. So, he was quite happy with it. Other than that, nothing out of the ordinary. In fact, he commented that I looked pretty when I first saw him - seems obvious but he's not so complimentary often so it was a nice surprise.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #34
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CestMoi View Post
    Well, we are actually in a long-distance relationship and have been married for just over a year (working on immigration to Canada - long story). Anyway, we had a period of time of 2.5 months where we did not talk due to a miscommunication.

    I went up to see him last week and we had a great time. However, his communication has been very guarded. Can anyone shed some insight? I feel like he doesn't trust me right now - just so you know, the miscommunication fault was due to both of us.
    I'm married to an ISTP too (for 9 years soon).

    In my experience ISTP's are reserved and not the best in communication. Don't take for granted that he uderstands what's going on with you. ISTP's are not in reading peoples emotions (at least my husband is not). If you feel something is wrong, he might not see it. So he doesn't necessarily feel what you feel about how things are with two of you.

    I think ISTP's communication can be guarded in most of times. In my experience they are not the most trusting peopel of all so all you say sound very typical ISTP'ish for me. (I might be wrong.)

    I suggest you talk with him about your feelings, they might come as surprise for him. ISTP's are so much different than us ENFP's! Talk, talk, talk (at least try.)
    Last edited by alcea rosea; 02-09-2008 at 02:11 PM.

  5. #35
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I'm curious. What is the general dynamic between an ISTP and an ENFP? I ask because my twin is an ENFP and she always got along well with the ISTPs circulating around me, but then again, ENFPs are easy to get along with and very friendly.
    I say that it's the fact they are almost opposites to us ENFP's, so they must be very interesting. But still they are fun loving people (not too serious) and that connects at least me with ISTP's.

    With me it's the fact that I'm very restless and my ISTP is my solid rock (down to earth) to lean on. He doesn't fuss over things and it's a relief for me. He's my great strength and support with his cool and observant style. He complements me and I complement him. I have the F he is missing. He's got the T I lack.

  6. #36
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    Alcearos, you've about hit it on the head! He is much more solid and down to earth than I am but I bring out his happy-go-lucky side. He's a very funny guy and makes me laugh a lot at times. On the other hand, he's super intense and that took some getting used to - I was quite surprised by just HOW intense he is. Whoa!

    Anyway, you're right. I had to talk to him. Also, I took great care what I said and tried to make sure it was all "what do you THINK about this and that" rather than "how do you feel...". I'll just get a blank look or dead air time, if I try that tact. LOL. As it is, things have improved and are continuing to do so since I've changed gears.

    I appreciate the insight regarding his type as it has helped me change the way I approach him. He seems to appreciate it very much though, naturally, I did not tell him that I was doing that.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #37
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    He wants to break up with you.

    Quote Originally Posted by CestMoi View Post
    Well, we are actually in a long-distance relationship and have been married for just over a year (working on immigration to Canada - long story). Anyway, we had a period of time of 2.5 months where we did not talk due to a miscommunication.

    I went up to see him last week and we had a great time. However, his communication has been very guarded. Can anyone shed some insight? I feel like he doesn't trust me right now - just so you know, the miscommunication fault was due to both of us.

  8. #38
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    Based on? I gather you're trolling.
    Last edited by CestMoi; 02-12-2008 at 08:52 PM.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #39
    Member FrisbeeLad's Avatar
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    Default Talking to your ISTP

    Yeah...I find it interesting that an ENFP and an ISTP are in a relationship together. I can definitely see them joking around and being very playful and adventurous. I've found ENFP's fairly attractive over the years, but never dated one. There was always something "off" in trying to connect with them communicatively.

    When you talk with your ISTP...try to be as:

    a) objective
    b) factual
    c) logical
    d) focused (especially for the ENFP...my sister-in-law is an ENFP; plus don't answer interrupting phone calls if you're having a "serious" relationship conversation...that's just a sidelight that used to happen to me with an ex...she was an ESFJ though)
    e) and LISTEN carefully because ISTP's don't like to repeat themselves when talking about serious emotional things. I've noticed over the years that ENFP's don't always listen very well because they're so focused on (or maybe from the point of view of an ISTP..."distracted by") the multitude of ideas in their head(s).

    Someone mentioned earlier about S's tending to be "out of sight, out of mind". There is some truth to that. I'd say for an ISTP it's like "Out of sight, out for mind (for a few days) if it's a very close person in their lives, and out of sight, out of mind (for a month or so) for not-so-close friends."

  10. #40
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    This is great, Frisbee, thanks. My ISTP is a fantastic frisbee player, BTW - very athletic in all areas (no surprise, huh?). I definitely see your point on distraction because only once did I answer the phone - it was an expected call for us both - but he got very upset because my focus was on him and then not. Whoa! That won't happen again, trust me!

    I have purposely stopped asking him any questions related to "feeling" and only directed at "thinking". It has worked much better! I'm into a lot of metaphysical stuff but do not talk too much about it because he's not. When I do talk about something (like my new job, for example), I can blab for quite awhile but he lets me talk and participates, as well. There are just as many times that he blabs, though, about some project he's working on, for example.

    He does NOT like it when I tell him details about my projects, though. It's a running joke now about my salt water aquarium. LOL I do realize that he likes to see the finished outcome but the details, if he's not interested, really bug him out.

    As for the out-of-mind part, that's also been my experience but more as you've described. If we talk more often, things are closer. If not, distance sets in.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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