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  1. #21
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    Thanks, INTJMom. You're right, they're not great communicators. How frustrating for me! I PMd you.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by digesthisickness View Post
    all i can really say is that if i were in your shoes, i'd think he was cheating. maybe not physically, but in some form. .. maybe just thinking about it.
    I didn't want to say it, but I thought that too.


  3. #23
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    I'm dramatizing and generalizing of course, and MBTI doesn't account for all behavior, but my understanding is that to an S, if you're not there, you barely exist. I hope an S will come by and correct me if I'm wrong.

    I think he is at the very least withdrawing (turning cold, closing up) some from you because of the distance. I guess it's somewhat of a natural defense mechanism which will probably resolve itself once the distance issue is resolved.

    Yes, I think it's reasonable to think he has considered being with someone else, but there's a big difference between thought and action. So, don't react to the thought as if it were the actual action.

  4. #24
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    You guys need to stop planting those ideas in her head.
    It's just as likely that he's not doing anything wrong.

  5. #25
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    It's just as likely that he's not doing anything wrong.
    I agree.

  6. #26
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    No way, I just had buttsecks with the guy.














    Okay, okay. Don't convict him based off the imaginations of invisible people on the internet.

  7. #27
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    Yikes, Mac. I'm inclined to think more positively about him and go with the thought that he is not doing anything. Maybe it's crossed his mind but that's true for most of us so I'll not crucify him over that. I'd have to be on the next cross over, anyway. LOL

    I think, too, that the S-factor plays a big part and out-of-sight, out-of-mind. I'll have to work on the communication, it seems to keep the S in check.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #28
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    I dunno. My involvement with ISTPs has been pretty intense, and I never felt forgotten. In fact, it was fusion, even when we fought. He'd get disgusted with the idea of other women and anyone hitting on him was met with chilly amusement. Men hitting on me was viewed as confirmation of my quality. Granted, it wasn't appreciated, but he felt he could trust me without question. I've never had anyone else trust me so completely before.

    I will say this. I once "crossed up" an ISTP friend. I disagreed with him strongly on something (he was being a jerk and he knew it) and assumed that any sort of disagreement we had would sort itself it out in due course because that's the way I tangle - nothing mortal, for heaven's sake, we're friends after all. I told him how I felt and though it was high octane, I didn't demean him or slag him or anything. He COMPLETELY recoiled from me, like he'd been snake-bitten. It was stunning. I figured out later from others (this happens to me frequently - I'm so daft sometimes) that he was practically in love with me and I thought, "Super. He was really hanging out there and I snapped him."

    I say this because certain things - just certain things - really push their buttons, especially if they feel emotionally exposed. Fe is their basement experience. I take Fe for granted.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
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    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  9. #29
    The Black Knight Domino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CestMoi View Post
    Yikes, Mac. I'm inclined to think more positively about him and go with the thought that he is not doing anything. Maybe it's crossed his mind but that's true for most of us so I'll not crucify him over that. I'd have to be on the next cross over, anyway. LOL

    I think, too, that the S-factor plays a big part and out-of-sight, out-of-mind. I'll have to work on the communication, it seems to keep the S in check.
    Don't mind Mac. I'll put him back in his pen.
    eNFJ 4w3 sx/so 468 tritype
    Neutral Good
    EII-Fi subtype, Ethical/Empath, Delta/Beta
    RLUEI, Choleric/Melancholic
    Inquistive/Limbic
    AIS Holland code
    Researcher: VDI-P
    Dramatic>Sensitive>Serious

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by PinkPiranha View Post
    I dunno. My involvement with ISTPs has been pretty intense, and I never felt forgotten. In fact, it was fusion, even when we fought. He'd get disgusted with the idea of other women and anyone hitting on him was met with chilly amusement. Men hitting on me was viewed as confirmation of my quality. Granted, it wasn't appreciated, but he felt he could trust me without question. I've never had anyone else trust me so completely before.

    I will say this. I once "crossed up" an ISTP friend. I disagreed with him strongly on something (he was being a jerk and he knew it) and assumed that any sort of disagreement we had would sort itself it out in due course because that's the way I tangle - nothing mortal, for heaven's sake, we're friends after all. I told him how I felt and though it was high octane, I didn't demean him or slag him or anything. He COMPLETELY recoiled from me, like he'd been snake-bitten. It was stunning. I figured out later from others (this happens to me frequently - I'm so daft sometimes) that he was practically in love with me and I thought, "Super. He was really hanging out there and I snapped him."

    I say this because certain things - just certain things - really push their buttons, especially if they feel emotionally exposed. Fe is their basement experience. I take Fe for granted.
    I completely agree regarding the intensity. In fact, we talked about just how intense he can be last time we were together. It takes some getting used to - especially for me - since I'm rarely what I'd call intense but then again, I might be and not see it at all. LOL You mention that your ISTP trusted you without question. My husband seemed to be this way, too, up until our separation. I suppose I should've been the bigger person (talker) earlier in this instance because it's obvious now that he just clammed up.

    Perhaps, his distance at this stage is due to being or feeling "snapped" as you put it. I imagine his emotions are in turmoil and that must be a very uncomfortable place for him. Mine have, too, but I process it differently since I, too, take Fe for granted.

    Thanks for the input. I really appreciate it and don't keep Mac in the cage too long.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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