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  1. #11
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Maybe he's just uncertain about trusting you with his exact feelings after such a close call, and is staying a bit detached until he knows he can trust you again.

    That's how I sometimes act, though I'm not at all claiming to know what he's thinking.

  2. #12
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    Thanks for the input, everyone. INTJMom, I wasn't aware of shadows but these make sense for when he is very tired or upset. Thanks for the link!

    Digesthisickness, I was wondering the same thing, actually (if he's considering cheating) due to the distance in communication. Sorry, if I sounded pissy. I wasn't sure of your tone at first. Also, I don't expect anyone to know him better than me, of course. I am simply interested in investigating how an ISTP male (or female, for that matter) might feel in this situation.

    Heart, thanks for the insight. Sounds like they are definitely tight-lipped, my husband is, anyway. Occasionally, he has bursts where he goes off on some issue and often is quite negative, which freaks me out since I'm the proverbial positive, bright and shiny beacon. FWIW, I have never held out on him and, in fact, had to restrain myself from being the initiator with him because he totally resists. Last visit, I didn't ask once and we had fun every day - this is totally out of the norm when I'm with him. Lesson learned on that one. LOL.

    Randomnity, I appreciate the comment. I don't know whether that's what he's thinking, either, but it does help to hear how you would react given your similar type.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by CestMoi View Post
    Heart, thanks for the insight. Sounds like they are definitely tight-lipped, my husband is, anyway. Occasionally, he has bursts where he goes off on some issue and often is quite negative, which freaks me out since I'm the proverbial positive, bright and shiny beacon. FWIW, I have never held out on him and, in fact, had to restrain myself from being the initiator with him because he totally resists. Last visit, I didn't ask once and we had fun every day - this is totally out of the norm when I'm with him. Lesson learned on that one. LOL.

    lol, Fi can never hold out!

  4. #14
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    ROFLOL! So that explains it!!!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by CestMoi View Post
    ROFLOL! So that explains it!!!
    Well, I think so, probably need some kind of annoymous poll to find out for sure. It is the weakness of my married life!

  6. #16
    Senior Member millerm277's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    Maybe he's just uncertain about trusting you with his exact feelings after such a close call, and is staying a bit detached until he knows he can trust you again.

    That's how I sometimes act, though I'm not at all claiming to know what he's thinking.
    I'll second that. I act that way as well.
    I-95%, S-84%, T-89%, P-84%

  7. #17
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CestMoi View Post
    Digesthisickness, I was wondering the same thing, actually (if he's considering cheating) due to the distance in communication. Sorry, if I sounded pissy. I wasn't sure of your tone at first. Also, I don't expect anyone to know him better than me, of course. I am simply interested in investigating how an ISTP male (or female, for that matter) might feel in this situation.
    don't apologize. it's fine.

    and, i'd think that istp or not, anyone would be lonely in that situation. so, it just depends on how well you know him. is he the type to be open to some other girl being a shoulder to 'cry on'? is he cute enough that he'd have girls openly willing to be that girl? etc.

    i'd be paying more attention to those kinds of things than what type he is.
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  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by digesthisickness View Post
    don't apologize. it's fine.

    and, i'd think that istp or not, anyone would be lonely in that situation. so, it just depends on how well you know him. is he the type to be open to some other girl being a shoulder to 'cry on'? is he cute enough that he'd have girls openly willing to be that girl? etc.

    i'd be paying more attention to those kinds of things than what type he is.
    You bring up some good points. He may be open to having a shoulder to cry on, I think and yes, for sure, he's cute enough to have girls applying for the position. I guess I'll have to see, if I can get him to open up when we speak tomorrow.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by millerm277 View Post
    I'll second that. I act that way as well.
    Thanks! It's very helpful to me for this insight.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #20
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Before we were married, my ISTP husband and I were separated from each other for about half of the two years we knew each other. He was in the Navy, and he got shipped out a lot.

    We made sure we talked a lot on the phone, and we would write to each other. I wrote more than he did, but that's understandable. (This was before the internet. )

    But your story feels incomplete to me. I can't make heads or tails out of exactly what went on. I think whatever is bugging him now has to do with something you haven't told us, so I don't imagine we can really fully advise you if we don't know what's the matter.

    Does he feel you tricked or betrayed him?
    That would make him act the way he's acting.

    And just generally speaking, ISTPs are not great communicators.

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