i was asking my (female) istp friend how to tell this guy that i have a boyfriend without scaring him away from being my friend. below are her lessons to keep me from blurting out:
"i can tell you are taking a liking to my magnetic personality, and who can really blame you? but before you start saving up for a ring, i should tell you that i have a boyfriend."
she keeps me in line... what can i say.
ok, pupil. take note: (assuming you have casual facebook chat sessions, but these would also be effective via text)
on the topic of new years:
new male: so are you going to be in town for the holidays and stuff? my friend is throwing a sick party for new year's....
you: oh, nice. yeah, i'm not sure yet. my boyfriend has friends coming into town so we are kind of at their mercy. i'm trying to push for a bar crawl or something.
on the topic of what you did last weekend:
new male: tell me tales of your debaucherous weekend.
you: it was great... i think i'm still hung over. the bf had to work the whole weekend so i got to clock some girl time with some college friends. we stumbled onto this one bar that had an open bar promotion going. lucky us.
on your favorite tv show:
you: to be honest, i don't watch a whole lot of tv. if the boyfriend or the roommates are watching something, i might give it a shot but none of the stuff they've tried to get me to watch are really that interesting.
you see, you can casually drop the "B" word into just about any conversation without slapping him in the face. this way - the istp way - is a polite, non-presumptuous way of slipping him a favor, really. because nothing is worse than an attempted kiss that you have to deflect. (for him. for you and i, it would be hilarious entertainment for weeks.) i'd throw one of these into conversation and maybe the "F" word for good measure on a separate occasion: "you know, i am really glad you sought me out because it is so hard to meet new people in this city and i could really use a few good FRIENDS who like to hang out and party."