I have come to the conclusion that my best most satisfying partner to date, is my sweet ESFP. I simply love everything about him, even the things I usually consider annoying. There's absolutely nothing that I don't love about him. What's the problem? I'm falling head over heals for him, but he's SO elusive. He "loves" me but I trust my intuition, he doesn't want to hurt my feelings. He was so enthusiastic about pursuing me, was even annoying me at the beginning, driving me crazy with calls and text and now that I'm all melting he's all disappearing.
I find it hard to believe an INFJ likes everything about an ESFP. Everything?
And my advice is to tell him what you told us, and to follow your intuition at all times. I'd say INFJ+ESFP are a mindblowing concept but I'm afraid the Typ0C thought police will knock on my door, so I won't elaborate.
Lordy, Lordy. An INFJ and ESFP. Well, I will not show Sytpg's restraint. I'll just come on out and say it. JFNI, I think that's a freakin' nutso idea.
Seriously. INFJs and ESFPs are on different planets. No. Different solar systems. Maybe even different galaxies.
I know only of one INFJ/ESFP pairing. He was totally in love with her and she broke it off with him after about eight months. She is a great person. In fact, she's a dear friend of mine. However, as someone who knows them both, I can say it NEVER would have worked out. Not because they're not both great people, but because they have mutually-exclusive orientations to the world.
He (INFJ) is all about meaning. Just like all NFs, INFJs seek out the meaning and significance in everything. But more than that, their dominant iNtuition makes this an even more salient aspect of their personality. (You can read more about
Introverted Intuition here.)
And, she (my ESFP friend) is all about experiencing. She has dominant Se. Dominant Extraverted Sensing can often be mistaken for intuition because it likes to step back and take a big picture look at the concrete details it sees. But it is not intuition.
Extraverted Sensing occurs when we become aware of what is in the physical world in rich detail. We may be drawn to act on what we experience to get an immediate result. We notice relevant facts and occurrences in a sea of data and experiences, learning all the facts we can about the immediate context or area of focus and what goes on in that context. An active seeking of more and more input to get the whole picture may occur until all sources of input have been exhausted or something else captures our attention. Extraverted Sensing is operating when we freely follow exciting physical impulses or instincts as they come up and enjoy the thrill of action in the present moment. A oneness with the physical world and a total absorption may exist as we move, touch, and sense what is around us. The process involves instantly reading cues to see how far we can go in a situation and still get the impact we want or respond to the situation with presence. - from
CognitiveProcesses.com
There could not be a wider communication gap between two people than having opposing dominant functions in the opposite energy directions. You know they say that ENFPs and ESFPs are look-a-like relations. Meaning that they have similar obstacles and strengths. In fact, to the outside observer, it would be easy to confuse the two. Maybe you're drawn to your ESFP for all the reasons you'd be drawn to an ENFP.
Eventually, you'll get sick of the just
having fun and want to get down to what really matters to you. Long passionate conversations. Intellectual reverie. Deep meaningful connections with your closest relationships. Only problem is that your ESFP won't be able to go there with you. And your desire for these things will probably bug the crap out of him.
I know of what I speak. I had an ESFP guy break my heart. The disconnect (he dominant Se / me dominant Ne) was very similar.
