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  1. #31
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JFNI View Post
    Certainly. Also, have you heard of the mere exposure effect?
    Like after you are exposed to a particular stimuli enough you begin to unconsciously tune it out?
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

  2. #32
    Senior Member Blown Ghost's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JFNI View Post
    What do I do? What keeps these crazy people in love?
    I love to keep things fresh in a relationship, keep my mate entertained and happy. Just to be totally upfront, I am a master of social dynamics and can employ a level of manipulation that would make your head spin if you understood it, but I always know why I'm doing it and I protect the innocence of my deepest intentions and keep them pure even if nobody ever knows that judging from their perspective of my behavior. I don't know why this is and I certainly don't say this for my ego's sake (I was just born this way, don't ask me why!) but I have people I barely know falling in love with me. It becomes a completely different dynamic than what most people are used to and so it causes some hard to understand situations down the road. I've been through these in different ways so many times that the way I end up acting is very difficult for people to read or understand, and then it becomes difficult for them to trust me. This makes me a little sad, because if I had it my way, I'd have enough time for everyone. When I have a moment, I never hesitate to help even a complete stranger just because it makes me happy. People never know it, but I might just be their most supportive ally. I want the best for everyone. Why not? I don't have room in my heart for anything but love.

    I have seen relationships go down in flames in a million different ways (exaggeration of course) and I have had a fair share of women tell me I was "addicting", often times I won't give someone as much as they want because I know the dynamic will suffer and it's better to keep things flowing slow and steady than to let someone hit rock bottom and suffer from withdrawal symptoms when I eventually need time apart from them. Don't think it's because he's bored with you!

    Ultimately, it's all about the cost/benefit analysis of complex social dynamics. We're all born equal in my book, so I always aim for the greatest total outcome for everyone. Why not? I have far more than my fair share of affection. If anything, I wish other people would realize the value of the people they already have in their lives and ignore me. They'd be a lot happier. My point here is... I don't have any reason for malicious intentions towards you, and if your ESFP is similar, he doesn't either. I don't want to generalize about the ESFP type, but my guess is that we face the most harmful misconceptions of any type of person. You should talk with him, and if it's meant to happen, he'll listen and make changes.

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