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  1. #31
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    If I were to be a bitch about it, I would say that one is a directionless flake, and the other nags constantly. I leave it to you to guess which is which.
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  2. #32
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    I was going to ask you guys why you don't like being touched when you're upset, but I got my answer tonight after a long yet relatively quiet struggle. Basically after everything (me not being aggressive enough in the job search, another late night at work, something else that had happened to her), she didn't want to kiss me. ALL freakin' night! Finally I got one, but that whole time I felt like I was "unworthy" of her affection, though of course she denied that. I kept telling her though that if I did know the reason it'd make a whole lot more sense and I could live with it better.

    Finally she said it was because it was too intense for her at the time (plus she was super tired). And she gave such a pleasant look as she said it that I knew it had nothing whatsoever to do with feelings of my unworthiness, that it was because she's so enraptured by me and enjoys those kisses so much that at times it's too much for her already intense, rattled emotions. (I'm not sure I'm explaining it right as I'm tired, but that one look spoke a thousand words to me.)

    Whew. That made me feel like a million bucks, actually. I think I can do without kisses sometimes knowing that.
    Yeah... if I'm in a foul mood I can't even think about any kind of affections. (This is probably going to sound retarded, but...) If I'm really angry or upset I'm afraid that it will be really noticeable to my fiance and I would rather not kiss him than deliver a crappy kiss.


  3. #33
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Don't worry. In time she will communicate how she's feeling more. I suspect that she's still getting comfortable with you. It takes time. I know.
    Well, yeah. She already has... she's told me that no one used to care how she was feeling or stay around very long, so she's had to get used to it.

    She never had anyone around to see her cry, so she had to get used to the fact that I wanted to be. I prefer it. I want to experience those deep emotions with her.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I have a really hard time taking things like this too. I've gotten a bit better over time though. I've concluded that (and please don't take this the wrong way) the greatest indicator of the success of a relationship is how you, both of you, handle disagreements or arguments. Especially when things get heated. This is because it's really easy to be in agreement. Everything is all butterflies and rainbows and happy happy when you agree. But then when things get tough, negative words and expressions start flying that you don't mean and they can be jolting and scary. The repetition of it makes it harder and harder to shake and then I will end up scarred. But I suppose that two intense people would experience some of this inevitably. Just tread carefully please.
    Oh I don't take it wrong at all. Our fights really aren't that bad in comparison to other couples. She had fun comparing them to my best friend and his girlfriend's fights which caused them to break up and get back together every ten seconds. Almost literally.

    If either of us feels like we need to stop, we'll just say, "let's stop" (usually her) and we will, just like that. Then we immediately get to lovin' again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Thank you. Your ISFJ is so lucky!
    Aw, man. heart. is. about. to burst. Same to whichever guy scoops you up. For serious, girl...

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    And, no, I have not snagged anyone yet but I want to. I've just been being too much of an "all-work-no-play" ISFJ. I'd like to bag one of those stellar STPs.
    Awwwww, mannnn. Warm fuzzies! Warm fuzzy alert! :eek:

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    My pleasure. I'm glad to help anytime.
    Much appreciated. I owe you a few.

    If you ever get into trouble with a big bad ol' ESTP, you just let Stellar know, y'hear?
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  4. #34
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kymbirleigh View Post
    Yeah... if I'm in a foul mood I can't even think about any kind of affections. (This is probably going to sound retarded, but...) If I'm really angry or upset I'm afraid that it will be really noticeable to my fiance and I would rather not kiss him than deliver a crappy kiss.
    That kinda makes sense. I think it may be that you're too upset to deliver a genuine, heartfelt kiss? But then my personal view is that if she kissed me while upset and I'm fine but just love her, it would just lead to more positive emotions... I don't know what that's like, though.
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  5. #35
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    That kinda makes sense. I think it may be that you're too upset to deliver a genuine, heartfelt kiss? But then my personal view is that if she kissed me while upset and I'm fine but just love her, it would just lead to more positive emotions... I don't know what that's like, though.
    Yeah, it is. When I'm in a crabby mood I'm rather closed off.... And that includes my affections. I suppose your right. Next time I'll have to give the fella a chance to cheer me up with a kiss.


  6. #36
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    Well, yeah. She already has... she's told me that no one used to care how she was feeling or stay around very long, so she's had to get used to it.

    She never had anyone around to see her cry, so she had to get used to the fact that I wanted to be. I prefer it. I want to experience those deep emotions with her.
    I'm sure she's really attached to you. And the fact that you're always there makes it even better.

    If either of us feels like we need to stop, we'll just say, "let's stop" (usually her) and we will, just like that. Then we immediately get to lovin' again.
    I'm not surprised it's her that says "let's stop" more. ISFJs hate conflict. :horor:

    Aw, man. heart. is. about. to burst. Same to whichever guy scoops you up. For serious, girl...

    Awwwww, mannnn. Warm fuzzies! Warm fuzzy alert! :eek:
    Hahaha

    Much appreciated. I owe you a few.

    If you ever get into trouble with a big bad ol' ESTP, you just let Stellar know, y'hear?
    I think I'll take you up on that and PM you sometime.


    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    I was going to ask you guys why you don't like being touched when you're upset, but I got my answer tonight after a long yet relatively quiet struggle. Basically after everything (me not being aggressive enough in the job search, another late night at work, something else that had happened to her), she didn't want to kiss me. ALL freakin' night! Finally I got one, but that whole time I felt like I was "unworthy" of her affection, though of course she denied that. I kept telling her though that if I did know the reason it'd make a whole lot more sense and I could live with it better.

    Finally she said it was because it was too intense for her at the time (plus she was super tired). And she gave such a pleasant look as she said it that I knew it had nothing whatsoever to do with feelings of my unworthiness, that it was because she's so enraptured by me and enjoys those kisses so much that at times it's too much for her already intense, rattled emotions. (I'm not sure I'm explaining it right as I'm tired, but that one look spoke a thousand words to me.)

    Whew. That made me feel like a million bucks, actually. I think I can do without kisses sometimes knowing that.
    I can totally see this. She probably is very aware of how very easily you make her weak (because she loves you so much) and is really wanting to stay strong in those moments so she resists. I think whatever she's thinking must be important to her though.

    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    If I were to be a bitch about it, I would say that one is a directionless flake, and the other nags constantly. I leave it to you to guess which is which.
    Oh I know! The ESFP is the nag and the ESFJ is the directionless flake? What did I win?

  7. #37
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post



    Oh I know! The ESFP is the nag and the ESFJ is the directionless flake? What did I win?
    haha. I apologise to anyone I may have insulted. Awesome individuals of both types certainly exist. It's just that I have a certain amount of personal experience with those stereotypes, some of it recent.
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  8. #38
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I'm sure she's really attached to you. And the fact that you're always there makes it even better.
    It's like you've been reading our texts or something.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I'm not surprised it's her that says "let's stop" more. ISFJs hate conflict. :horor:
    Yeah, and I'm like a steamroller sometimes. :horor: oops, sorry, babe...

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I think I'll take you up on that and PM you sometime.
    Or, even better! We could exchange Facebooks in case I'm not around again.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    I can totally see this. She probably is very aware of how very easily you make her weak (because she loves you so much) and is really wanting to stay strong in those moments so she resists. I think whatever she's thinking must be important to her though.
    Yeah. A woman is a complex mechanism. I'm sticking with the "it's too intense" bit.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Oh I know! The ESFP is the nag and the ESFJ is the directionless flake? What did I win?
    hah, nice
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  9. #39
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kymbirleigh View Post
    Yeah, it is. When I'm in a crabby mood I'm rather closed off.... And that includes my affections. I suppose your right. Next time I'll have to give the fella a chance to cheer me up with a kiss.
    Score another one for the male gender!
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    stop it right on tiiiiime!


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  10. #40
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    Yeah, and I'm like a steamroller sometimes. :horor: oops, sorry, babe...
    A little lovin' makes it all better.

    Or, even better! We could exchange Facebooks in case I'm not around again.
    I don't have Facebook. I'll send you my email or IM.


    Yeah. A woman is a complex mechanism. I'm sticking with the "it's too intense" bit.
    I basically meant the same thing.

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