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  1. #21
    Senior Member sciski's Avatar
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    +1 to shortnsweet. A smart SP knows how to take on other traits to get what they want out of life.

    FWIW, the description sounds a helluva lot like my future MIL, who is an ESFP. She has learned a bunch of Fe/Si behaviours, though seems to do it to show off her knowledge and savvy at 'handling' people (Se) than out of genuine Fe. She's a relatively unhealthy example though.

  2. #22
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    You're right, it's because there is a lot of emotion tied to the subject, and she cares about you. I wouldn't know how to react in this situation either if I were her, except to just be quiet as to not make things worse. I've always sucked at knowing how to handle extroverts in the best way. I hope her worrying is not bringing you down too though.
    The only thing that freaks me out is her silence. :horor: It makes me feel like everything has suddenly turned inside-out. I want her to communicate, angry or no, because I just want to know what's going on.

    She said I scared her with something I said recently. She was nagging me a little about how I screwed up the washing machine, which made me feel like an idiot, and I was telling her how I felt. Well eventually after her denials I got a little worked up (this has been replayed a million times but thankfully less so as time has passed) and she said for a split second she felt like we wouldn't work. Well that was kind of a wake-up call to me. I always overestimate her ability to take my rants. Good thing is though, that I'm generally pretty upbeat and pleasant to be around.

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Of course, I agree with you. SFJ+STP =
    I have to say, even over the internets, you are quite the attractive young lady y'self! And it obviously couldn't be pheremones. You snagged any lucky guys yet?

    Quote Originally Posted by Giggly View Post
    Yeeeeeeeeeees. Like slow torture! :steam:
    I love these smileys so much. That one just says everything. I'm trying to keep that fact in mind. It's obvious by this time how much she suffers at times like those. :blushing:

    Thanks for all your help this whole time, Giggly! You are quite amazing.
    -stellar renegade
    coo-oo-ooool this madness down,
    stop it right on tiiiiime!


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  3. #23
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    The only thing that freaks me out is her silence. :horor: It makes me feel like everything has suddenly turned inside-out. I want her to communicate, angry or no, because I just want to know what's going on.
    Hmm, I was in silent mode last night. I didn't want to talk about things because I didn't want to start crying again. Everything going on right now has me stressed to the max and I'm just frustrated. So, to avoid crying, I just kept quiet and went to bed early. It was better than getting a sinus infection from crying.


  4. #24
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kymbirleigh View Post
    Hmm, I was in silent mode last night. I didn't want to talk about things because I didn't want to start crying again. Everything going on right now has me stressed to the max and I'm just frustrated. So, to avoid crying, I just kept quiet and went to bed early. It was better than getting a sinus infection from crying.
    Wow, you guys are like twins separated at birth! :horor: Who knew type could be so accurate!?
    -stellar renegade
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  5. #25
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    Wow, you guys are like twins separated at birth! :horor: Who knew type could be so accurate!?
    Scary isn't it?

    For me, part of why I bottle things up is because I don't want to burden anyone with my issues... I know it's not healthy, but I don't want to drag anyone down and make them mopey.


  6. #26
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kymbirleigh View Post
    Scary isn't it?

    For me, part of why I bottle things up is because I don't want to burden anyone with my issues... I know it's not healthy, but I don't want to drag anyone down and make them mopey.
    Yeah, and here I seriously used to think that when she expressed feelings like that, that she was guilt-tripping me... :rolli:

    Yeah, I know, I suck.
    -stellar renegade
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  7. #27
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kymbirleigh View Post
    Scary isn't it?

    For me, part of why I bottle things up is because I don't want to burden anyone with my issues... I know it's not healthy, but I don't want to drag anyone down and make them mopey.
    I do the same thing, which is why I have a blog here or because I like driving alone: It let's me rant, rave, and vent to thin air which hurts or disturbs no one.

    Not the best way to deal with the problems, I realize, and I am working on it
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  8. #28
    Senior Member Chaotic Harmony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinker683 View Post
    I do the same thing, which is why I have a blog here or because I like driving alone: It let's me rant, rave, and vent to thin air which hurts or disturbs no one.

    Not the best way to deal with the problems, I realize, and I am working on it
    Me too! I prefer to take a drive when I'm needing to vent. I'll usually just drive along some curvy road until I feel better.


  9. #29
    PEST that STEPs on PETS stellar renegade's Avatar
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    I was going to ask you guys why you don't like being touched when you're upset, but I got my answer tonight after a long yet relatively quiet struggle. Basically after everything (me not being aggressive enough in the job search, another late night at work, something else that had happened to her), she didn't want to kiss me. ALL freakin' night! Finally I got one, but that whole time I felt like I was "unworthy" of her affection, though of course she denied that. I kept telling her though that if I did know the reason it'd make a whole lot more sense and I could live with it better.

    Finally she said it was because it was too intense for her at the time (plus she was super tired). And she gave such a pleasant look as she said it that I knew it had nothing whatsoever to do with feelings of my unworthiness, that it was because she's so enraptured by me and enjoys those kisses so much that at times it's too much for her already intense, rattled emotions. (I'm not sure I'm explaining it right as I'm tired, but that one look spoke a thousand words to me.)

    Whew. That made me feel like a million bucks, actually. I think I can do without kisses sometimes knowing that.
    -stellar renegade
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  10. #30
    No moss growing on me Giggly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by stellar renegade View Post
    The only thing that freaks me out is her silence. :horor: It makes me feel like everything has suddenly turned inside-out. I want her to communicate, angry or no, because I just want to know what's going on.
    Don't worry. In time she will communicate how she's feeling more. I suspect that she's still getting comfortable with you. It takes time. I know.


    She said I scared her with something I said recently. She was nagging me a little about how I screwed up the washing machine, which made me feel like an idiot, and I was telling her how I felt. Well eventually after her denials I got a little worked up (this has been replayed a million times but thankfully less so as time has passed) and she said for a split second she felt like we wouldn't work. Well that was kind of a wake-up call to me. I always overestimate her ability to take my rants. Good thing is though, that I'm generally pretty upbeat and pleasant to be around.
    I have a really hard time taking things like this too. I've gotten a bit better over time though. I've concluded that (and please don't take this the wrong way) the greatest indicator of the success of a relationship is how you, both of you, handle disagreements or arguments. Especially when things get heated. This is because it's really easy to be in agreement. Everything is all butterflies and rainbows and happy happy when you agree. But then when things get tough, negative words and expressions start flying that you don't mean and they can be jolting and scary. The repetition of it makes it harder and harder to shake and then I will end up scarred. But I suppose that two intense people would experience some of this inevitably. Just tread carefully please.


    I have to say, even over the internets, you are quite the attractive young lady y'self! And it obviously couldn't be pheremones. You snagged any lucky guys yet?
    Thank you. Your ISFJ is so lucky!

    And, no, I have not snagged anyone yet but I want to. I've just been being too much of an "all-work-no-play" ISFJ. I'd like to bag one of those stellar STPs.

    I love these smileys so much. That one just says everything. I'm trying to keep that fact in mind. It's obvious by this time how much she suffers at times like those. :blushing:

    Thanks for all your help this whole time, Giggly! You are quite amazing.
    My pleasure. I'm glad to help anytime.

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