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Thread: ISFPs/ENFPS

  1. #51
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    ha ha...yeah the drama thing is associated with xSFPs and ENFPs both...and yep, totally, if someone is just showing me the right way to do something I would never bat an eyelash, but yeah if someone is talking down to me I'm more likely to argue with them, totally.

    Let me ask you kind of a strange question; this might not make any sense to you at all but...I remember telling my sister that one of the things that I bonded with my ESFJ ex over were things like film and music, and how important that was to me, and she looked at me like I had three heads and said "those are just colors and sounds, and it has nothing to do with the way a person treats you." Well...duh...but those colors and sounds can make me feel understood in a non-verbal way that transcends other things sometimes, it's like a world we were able to share - of course my ex and I were both very physically affectionate and were best friends after we knew each other for a year, so um, yeah there is more to our relationship that common aesthetic interests...but anyhoo I noticed that my ethical value system is looser when choosing a mate, like even when I had spiritual beliefs I dated atheists, and my ex was so patently against politics that he never even registered to vote.

    I'm going off on a tangent here...what I'm saying though is that I recently didn't date but did form a bond with someone (another SFJ) in a similar manner despite differing political beliefs, and he's a lifelong atheist while I'm more agnostic or non-religious-but-spiritual on any given day...the important thing was is that I felt comfortable with him, could talk to him, and it seemed like the fact that we liked so much of the same music was a hinge the friendship revolved around in the beginning. It made me feel understood.

    I'm probably not making much sense, but it seems to me an NF might be more likely to be sure that they got emotionally involved with someone who was more likely to definitely share their political party or spiritual beliefs.

    Anyway my question is: does this make any sense to you? Maybe not. Maybe I'm just rambling.

  2. #52
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    what about infps in this comparison? are infps more like (rather, seem more like) isfps or enfps?

    I'm probably not making much sense, but it seems to me an NF might be more likely to be sure that they got emotionally involved with someone who was more likely to definitely share their political party or spiritual beliefs.
    my (seriously) religious ISFJ friend dated an atheist INTP and thought seriously about marriage/children. i immediately knew to point out that their religious belief would hinder any sort of permanent union while she denied it for a while before she agreed/accepted too. she was all like, respect for each other and love is enough. i just sat there shaking my head, no, no. religion/politics is a huge fundamental difference.

  3. #53
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I'm probably not making much sense, but it seems to me an NF might be more likely to be sure that they got emotionally involved with someone who was more likely to definitely share their political party or spiritual beliefs.

    Anyway my question is: does this make any sense to you? Maybe not. Maybe I'm just rambling.
    This is a big obstacle for me....because I want BOTH. I find those I connect with over interests are not necessarily people I share spiritual beliefs with, and vice verse. It was trial and error that taught me that I need to put my beliefs over my interests in dating; I just find my interests to be things I have less chance to discuss IRL, so to find someone who shares them excites me & can create insta-attraction. It just seriously narrows the field to want both though...

    I thought my ESFP ex bf was BOTH, but I learned that what appeared to be shared interests was not so, or at least there was such a different reasoning behind it that we may as well have had different interests. The shared religion was NOT enough for me. Of course, personality & general compatibility is a factor also.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    what about infps in this comparison? are infps more like (rather, seem more like) isfps or enfps?
    I think it's hard to tell either way. In person, I think IxFPs are harder, because you can usually tell that an ENFP is extroverted. Online, a clear NF Ne user can seem either, or a clear Fi-dom can seem either, depending on your perspective.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #54
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    ^^^

    yeah, I know an INFJ who basically said she could never get involved with a guy who wasn't a registered Democrat when I was showing interest first in a moderate Republican, and then later an anarcho-capitalist libertarian

    I've also seen the NF "ideal man" lists where this seemed to be a huge, huge issue to quite a few NFs but to me, not so much

    however, I'm sure I'm drawn to a particular kind of mindset, a certain way of being, some similar values...in fact I wonder if I like atheists because they seem so logical or realistic in a way, and also because organized religion is something I tend to avoid...soooo

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    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    Whenever I think ISFP, all I can think of is Jimi Hendrix and Andre 3000. Those type of personas...There is something obviously very similiar to INFPs. I think it more comes about because of the FP thing. I dont claim to know a lot about the whole MBTI, but those kind of women and men always come off very people orienated.

  6. #56
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    I consider myself spiritual, and some morality in another person matters to me, but it's not quite as specific. As long as they're humanitarian in some general sense? I mean, I prefer "nice" people at least. hah.. I don't mind if they're atheists though. Shared artistic interests does seem to matter more (in practice) than the ethical stuff maybe. I mean, I know I'm just more relaxed, and keep wanting to talk with someone when we share interests on music or movies or books..

    I have an ESTJ friend who's totally hung up on this at the moment. He's got everything going for him with this one girl, but he's afraid of dating her because she's atheist. It boggles my mind.. I think he's screwing up, but whatever. Maybe not.

  7. #57
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    ^ I used to be open to atheists until I've had a few insult me on dates for not being atheist. I had a religious guy insult me too (different religion, but still "Christian"), and grill me about my beliefs on a date. I realized I can't be with someone who does not respect my beliefs, and that is hard for other people when they don't share them. I guess I was wrong to think it would not be such a big deal. Being open-minded is sort of overrated in dating, IMO. It leaves you open to jerks & losers.... I've realized it's not idealistic to have some basic standards, but realistic.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Idris View Post
    Whenever I think ISFP, all I can think of is Jimi Hendrix and Andre 3000. Those type of personas...There is something obviously very similiar to INFPs. I think it more comes about because of the FP thing. I dont claim to know a lot about the whole MBTI, but those kind of women and men always come off very people orienated.
    I find ESFPs & INFPs to be very different though. People say my ESFP sister & I are like night & day. I have a lot of ESFP friends and I don't really "relate" to them, even though I like them. I think once you have more than one letter change, someone will seem significantly different.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  9. #59
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Idris View Post
    Whenever I think ISFP, all I can think of is Jimi Hendrix and Andre 3000. Those type of personas...There is something obviously very similiar to INFPs. I think it more comes about because of the FP thing. I dont claim to know a lot about the whole MBTI, but those kind of women and men always come off very people orienated.
    I don't doubt they're ISFP, but I don't put out that colorful, groovy vibe well myself. Some people's first impressions amaze me, and I end up having to actually work at confirming that I'm more like that than they think. I hope this doesn't come out wrong, but I might be a little too cool for my own good (cool in the sense of being a little held back). I have some ideas of some celebrities who might be like this, and might be ISFP, but it's probably not worth mentioning. They could be NFP for all I know

  10. #60
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I find ESFPs & INFPs to be very different though. People say my ESFP sister & I are like night & day. I have a lot of ESFP friends and I don't really "relate" to them, even though I like them. I think once you have more than one letter change, someone will seem significantly different.
    Well my mother and I are a lot alike - we both like animals, like to cook, have many of the same attention-getting behaviors...she was even a dancer when she was young and kind of had the same propensity to run off to other places before she had children...my father and her were in seven different states while she was pregnant with me. We have similar emotional behavior, similar weaknesses.

    However, I am more bookish and serious and not quite as over-the-top.

    That's one of the reasons why I think ENFP or ISFP. My mom is ESFP and I'm like a slightly altered version of her.

    I would say "smarter" version of her, but that's wrong of me to say.

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