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[ISFP] ISFP anger (or maybe even rage?)

HotpinkHeatwave

New member
Joined
Nov 30, 2009
Messages
379
MBTI Type
ENFP
I have an ISFP father. I love him to pieces, but once in a great while (or sometimes a lot when he is stressed) he just SNAPS.

Something will really bother him/irritate him/upset him, and he'll go on a rampage.

He'll start yelling at the top of his lungs about it, and what ever is wrong.. It is always someone's fault. It's an outburst of just pure anger.

He gets really upset over simple things.

The other morning he came into the house screaming about how my Brother kept trying to start his truck, even though it wouldn't. Personally I didn't think it was a big deal, but my dad? He was irate.

Then, after a bunch of yelling or a heated argument (usually when the anger is directed towards me or my mother) he just clams up and gets quiet for a while.

Now, please know, (and as I said) I LOVE my dad. He's not a bad person, don't think that.

I was just wondering if this is common in ISFPs, or if it is just particular to him?
 

nolla

Senor Membrane
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
3,166
MBTI Type
INFP
I think a friend of mine is an ISFP. Very mellow guy normally, I never heard him raise his voice. But he has a habit of hitting walls when he flips. Once he was looking for some important documents, and just couldn't find them, and punched a wall and broke half of the fingers in that hand.
 

wolfy

awsm
Joined
Jun 30, 2008
Messages
12,251
Moved the thread to the main SP forum from the blogs.

I can get angry, my blood can boil. I tend to get quiet or bossy. I asked my wife about it, she said I get quiet and I get angry about stuff you wouldn't expect someone to get angry about. Random things.

The example about your brother would make me angry. It annoys me if people keep doing something that isn't working. I think I'd feel an overwhelming urge to takeover.

There is some stuff in Was that really me? on isfp, Te, stress and anger.
 

Walking Tourist

it's tea time!
Joined
Nov 11, 2008
Messages
1,452
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esfp
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7
I only yell and get furious when people try to order me around. I really dislike control freaks. (I don't know why they bother. It's not as if I'm going to cooperate with their bossiness...)
 

Quinlan

Intriguing....
Joined
Apr 6, 2008
Messages
3,004
MBTI Type
ISFP
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9w1
I've never really had an outburst like that, then again I don't think I've ever been given a reason to. If I do get angry about something I usually just quietly stew for a minute and then I get distracted and go back to my usual self.
 

Walking Tourist

it's tea time!
Joined
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After I yell and holler, I'm all done. A few minutes later, I forget why I was yelling and hollering, and I'm back to my usual silly self.
 

ayoitsStepho

Twerking & Lurking
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Sep 20, 2009
Messages
4,838
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ISFP
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4w3
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
I only yell and get furious when people try to order me around. I really dislike control freaks. (I don't know why they bother. It's not as if I'm going to cooperate with their bossiness...)

:yes: This would be just about the only thing that really gets me going.

I usually just quietly stand in a corner and fume when I'm angry, but it goes away pretty quickly. The last major outburst I had was like a year ago (screaming at everyone), but that's because I had soooo much stuff bottled up that I exploded.
 

Rail Tracer

Freaking Ratchet
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Jun 29, 2010
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sx/so
You have to see me in quite a bit of stress to see me ranting like that.

In a lot of situations, I tend to quell the anger before it gets anywhere. Or if it does surface, it tends to be a slight irritation that goes away after a certain amount of time.
 

Randomnity

insert random title here
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May 8, 2007
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sp/sx
I haven't yet seen my isfp raise his voice. He usually starts grumbling then (rarely) snapping but never yelling or stomping around.

My dad has anger problems, so I know what that's like. He's an NT though (intj? entp? entj?)
 

Redbone

Orisha
Joined
Apr 27, 2010
Messages
2,882
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ENFP
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9w8
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sx/so
I've seen my son snap or snarl, which is quite unlike his mellow, easy-going self. It's almost always because he is tired, hungry, or not feeling well and then someone wants him to do something. He will also flare-up if his privacy is violated--space or otherwise.
 

Julie1962

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Jun 1, 2009
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138
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ISFP
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5
Yeah .. I don't do well with anger when I'm tired and stressed. I usually blow up over something minor when something major is bugging me. I have on occasion raged but not too often. Usually I just drop a bunch of F bombs and slam doors. I'm always embarressed afterward. I prefer to keep my emotions to myself.

Good thing is I don't hold grudges and I get over things quickly.
 

craigensa

New member
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Sep 5, 2010
Messages
27
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ISFP
Yeah .. I don't do well with anger when I'm tired and stressed. I usually blow up over something minor when something major is bugging me. I have on occasion raged but not too often. Usually I just drop a bunch of F bombs and slam doors. I'm always embarressed afterward. I prefer to keep my emotions to myself.

Good thing is I don't hold grudges and I get over things quickly.

Basically the same as me...it will be the smallest thing, and is always the person who hasn't done anything. I usually feel the urge to break something but I then realise I'm just being silly. I haven't got really really angry in a while.
 

Kingfisher

full of love
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May 24, 2009
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i am an Esfp, i definitely have had rage problems all my life....

my best friend is ISFP, he almost never shows his anger. that is a real strength of his, staying calm even in very very tumultuous and intense situations. i have almost never seen his anger control him, i have known him 31 years. he is a rock. i think ISFPs are great at redirecting things -- they come into an intense situation and instead of falling into anger they redirect it and find meaning and insight in the situation, they see posibilities instead.

my wife is also isfp, she expresses some anger sometimes but it very very rare. she tends to let off little bits of frustration. she will get very frustrated at something, but it only last for seconds, and then it has passed COMPLETELY out of her mind.

i was thinking a few days ago how different anger and RAGE are.... they are as different as night and day. i have always skipped anger and gone straight to rage... maybe anger is a pain in your mind, and rage is a pain in your heart. rage is a pain that consumes, that overtakes every part of you completely. there is that saying, "a man in rage becomes rage."
 

Hirsch63

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Dec 4, 2007
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IS??
I have an ISFP father. I love him to pieces...Something will really bother him/irritate him/upset him, and he'll go on a rampage.

He'll start yelling at the top of his lungs about it, and what ever is wrong.. It is always someone's fault. It's an outburst of just pure anger.

He gets really upset over simple things.
.... but my dad? He was irate.

I was just wondering if this is common in ISFPs, or if it is just particular to him?

With what I have gleaned from this site and others when I was young I am fairly certain I was an ISTJ....and as I have aged I have become much more of an ISfx .....but sometimes when something inexplicably stoo-pid happens (or especially is done) I can revert and fly into an unexpected rage....rarely, but it happens....usually if I am under some other stress at the time....and I don't have a family to provide for like your Dad....I am sure I would be more or less under a constant state of stress if I had those responsibilities on my shoulders. It is probably just steam being inadvertently let off by the situation. He probably regrets it, but doesn't have the energy to want to sort it out.
 

Goosebump

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Aug 25, 2010
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129
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ISFP
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9
Basically the same as me...it will be the smallest thing, and is always the person who hasn't done anything. I usually feel the urge to break something but I then realise I'm just being silly. I haven't got really really angry in a while.

Same, I also have a strong urge to break something when I'm angry. Usually I just punch pillows or kick boxes.

I tend to snap when someone keeps nagging me and ordering me around. Or when I state something and the person keeps trying to twist my words and refuse to hear what I'm really saying. And do that repeatedly too! Also, any threat of physical harm to me and you're done.
 

Sunny Ghost

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May 28, 2010
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I think rage is capable in any Feeler. We go off on our emotions and we don't necessarily realize it or know how to handle them. Because of the emotional factor, ISFP's can go from sweet, kind and empathetic, to complete chaos in .3 seconds.
 

Sunny Ghost

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i am an Esfp, i definitely have had rage problems all my life....

my best friend is ISFP, he almost never shows his anger. that is a real strength of his, staying calm even in very very tumultuous and intense situations. i have almost never seen his anger control him, i have known him 31 years. he is a rock. i think ISFPs are great at redirecting things -- they come into an intense situation and instead of falling into anger they redirect it and find meaning and insight in the situation, they see posibilities instead.

my wife is also isfp, she expresses some anger sometimes but it very very rare. she tends to let off little bits of frustration. she will get very frustrated at something, but it only last for seconds, and then it has passed COMPLETELY out of her mind.

i was thinking a few days ago how different anger and RAGE are.... they are as different as night and day. i have always skipped anger and gone straight to rage... maybe anger is a pain in your mind, and rage is a pain in your heart. rage is a pain that consumes, that overtakes every part of you completely. there is that saying, "a man in rage becomes rage."

i agree with the bold. in ISFP's, i think as Ni develops and as we allow ourselves to grow up/mature/learn/whatever, we find insight in the waves verses allowing the waves to fully overtake us. but this is just what i have come to assume with my own experiences, so it is funny to hear someone else post this.
 
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