[SP] Clue me in here, dudes..

[stellar renegade]

Actually...didn't you recently fall in love with an ISFJ?

Yeah, so? I was just talking in general...

I know you live in the present and immensely enjoy physical stuff, but here's a question for ya...


When you realized you were in love with her, those feelings...do they surface also during such a moment as I just described? Do those feelings for that matter surface when you are amidst the act of physical love (omg what a sentence )? Or, for that matter, when did they surface and what triggered them? What still triggers them? And if they don't arise during a moment like the one in the OP...what does go through your mind at that point?

Those feelings surfacing (if they're the same ones you're talking about) is what caused me to love her in the first place. I never would've seen it otherwise. And the reason they surfaced was very situational. She had rescued me from my relationship with an evil ENFP (I'm NOT generalizing! geez! ) and despite how wayward I had become, she didn't judge me in the least and loved me completely. Because of that, within a couple weeks' time, I started falling for her. The first moment I realized it was one night when I was looking at her and suddenly felt like she was irresistible. Mostly I just wanted to hug and kiss her.

A roommate had asked about us just earlier, and I had wavered in my answer. Anyway the next day after that "moment" I asked a mutual friend (Stariana) about this girl (Amy's) feelings. She made it sound like Amy was totally gung-ho about the whole thing when really she still didn't know what to think. In fact it took her forever to process it all. Well right after that when I went to see Amy I didn't really know what to do other than just come up to her while she was laying on the bed talking to Stariana and just give her a huge peck right on the lips. She blushed and asked what that was all about and I didn't give an explanation. Then after I went home she wanted to "talk" about it over the nets. We each hesitatingly started opening up about the way we felt and eventually realized we were just right.

I do have those moments with her where we look at each other all gooey-eyed. Honestly it feels a bit unusual because she used to never do that, and at first it felt weird for her, too. She's generally not a positive or sappy person, I am. But those moments are definitely packed with incredible intensity. We know each other completely and know that each of us is exactly what the other wants. And time does "slow down" in the sense that those moments are like rocks in a rushing river rapids that slow me down for a moment. I hate being slowed down but the intense pleasure of those moments cause me to linger. It's wrenching and yet fulfilling at the same exact time. Except when we're watching a movie or something, then I'm already slowed down.

And it's a different kind of feeling when we're physically close, more like a blazing fire or like cool refreshing water. It's less intellectual and more immediate and overwhelming, like I'm in another world.

I don't know, it's easier to experience it than to explain it.

I know that when I have a moment like that with someone, there's feelings of utter respect, love (in its broadest sense), understanding and bewilderment that arise. I *love* it. And it seems to be most intense with NTJs and STPs, people I naturally feel drawn to. With NFPs, it's more of a mutual feeling safe thing that goes on..a relief really.

Mutual feeling safe thing? What do you mean?

 

[Amargith]

Yeah, so? I was just talking in general...


Those feelings surfacing (if they're the same ones you're talking about) is what caused me to love her in the first place. I never would've seen it otherwise. And the reason they surfaced was very situational. She had rescued me from my relationship with an evil ENFP (I'm NOT generalizing! geez! ) and despite how wayward I had become, she didn't judge me in the least and loved me completely. Because of that, within a couple weeks' time, I started falling for her. The first moment I realized it was one night when I was looking at her and suddenly felt like she was irresistible. Mostly I just wanted to hug and kiss her.
A roommate had asked about us just earlier, and I had wavered in my answer. Anyway the next day after that "moment" I asked a mutual friend (Stariana) about this girl (Amy's) feelings. She made it sound like Amy was totally gung-ho about the whole thing when really she still didn't know what to think. In fact it took her forever to process it all. Well right after that when I went to see Amy I didn't really know what to do other than just come up to her while she was laying on the bed talking to Stariana and just give her a huge peck right on the lips. She blushed and asked what that was all about and I didn't give an explanation. Then after I went home she wanted to "talk" about it over the nets. We each hesitatingly started opening up about the way we felt and eventually realized we were just right.

I do have those moments with her where we look at each other all gooey-eyed. Honestly it feels a bit unusual because she used to never do that, and at first it felt weird for her, too. She's generally not a positive or sappy person, I am. But those moments are definitely packed with incredible intensity. We know each other completely and know that each of us is exactly what the other wants. And time does "slow down" in the sense that those moments are like rocks in a rushing river rapids that slow me down for a moment. I hate being slowed down but the intense pleasure of those moments cause me to linger. It's wrenching and yet fulfilling at the same exact time.

And it's a different kind of feeling when we're physically close, more like a blazing fire or like cool refreshing water. It's less intellectual and more immediate and overwhelming, like I'm in another world.

I don't know, it's easier to experience it than to explain it.


Mutual feeling safe thing? What do you mean?

Awwww

The reason I connected these dots was coz I figured that you might have experienced those moments with her, and might be able to identify whether it's similar to what I'm talking about.

And you did. You said you were looking at her (see bolded) when you realized your feelings. It's btw beautiful to see how you guys so naturally grew to be a great couple

It's that moment that I'm talking about. And it doesn't have to be becoz you're in love with her..but it's that moment when things suddenly fall into place, time slows down and you feel like the other understands you perfectly and *becoz* of that realization, that bewilderment, certain intense feelings are produced, be they love, respect, relief, a sense of coming home, of being one, of all of the above, for that matter.


With NFPs, I found it's purely platonic..a mindmeld if you will, and an intense relief that you're not alone in this cold world. That someoen does understand your weird way of being. It feels like coming home, like not having to put up a facade to blend in. It's an intense feeling of knowing that you won't be judged, that you're safe and that you can just relax. It's a relief. Compare it to snuggling up in an awesomely soft blanky and not wanting to move at all

And yeah..you really just wanna linger int hat moment coz it feels so great

I've found that SPs are the ones to enhance this moment even more due to the amount of bodylanguage they give off during this awesome event. It's excruciatingly intense if done correctly....

I guess I was just wondering if it feels the same for you every time..or if it also happens when you're not feeling intensely..whatever that feeling is (be it that realization that you love her, or that you respect the person in front of you, or intense friendship, or whatever )

 

[Rainne]

Nah you're not imagining it.

 

[PJWakt]

I find myself,when in the presence of an Se-user,

All I know is, we're talking, something sweet or meaningful is said and there's this ....pause. Then there's the look (even online they do 'the look', I have *no* clue how!).

Tell me this isn't just me, that they're actually aware of it and experience this as well.

That's the point when we've been really tempted to swoop in and kiss you and I'm sure you're very attractive and it could have happened but some non-verbal / body language signal wasn't quite there

Maybe pout a bit next time?