I tried answering this a few times, but got bored.
1. Is activity/activation paramount to your daily life? (By "activity", I don't necessarily mean base-jumping, folks. I mean anything that engages you, brain and body, even on minor levels.)
Yes. I get bored easily. It took me a while to realise that, but itís usually because Iím also good with coming up with things that entertain me. I donít necessarily have to be doing much, so long as itís entertaining to me.
2. What connection do you feel between physical activity and your mental well-being?
I love being active. For me, itís not something I do alone though. Iím involved in various sports and activities, all of which involve or allow for large amounts of interaction between people. Iím not that person you see jogging alone at 7 in the morning. Other people are my motivation, even if I enjoy the physical activity immensely. I love being active though. Makes me feel alive.
3. If you were born into and stuck in a very small dead-end town/city, how would you handle the inactivity? How important is variety? How important is it to avoid routine? What lengths would you go to get variety or avoid routine?
I need some variety. Without it I start to feel trapped, and when I feel trapped into doing or being something I donít want, I feel physically ill. Then again, I donít want endless choices, because then Iíd never make any decisions, never get anywhere. But I need to mix things up a bit. So I can do routine, as long as there is room to play. But after extended periods of time I become moody and mildly depressed. I start snapping at people and become immature in relation to taking the blame, acting responsibly, etc.
4. What happens mentally when you're placed under protracted or inescapable stress?
See the last two sentences from above. I feel the need to escape. I like control where Iím concerned. Other people can do what they want, as long as Iím free to do the same. If Iím under a lot of stress, especially over time, Iím breaking free. If Iím in a dark enough state of mind, then othersí wellbeing may not concern me when I Ďbreak freeí.
5. What happens mentally when you're confronted with protracted monotony?
Similar to above. I take control and escape. Basically, I find something to do, and if thereís nothing to be found, I make something. I guess Iím pretty stable, but if I wasnít being reckless and destructive is a path Iíd probably take.
6. Does mental stress translate quickly or slowly into physical signs? (This includes reckless behavior or outbursts...) What signs do you exhibit?
Generally slowly. I think a number of people think I have a really short temper, but thatís because before then Iíve done the whole Ďbottling up emotionsí thing and the Ďthey didnít mean to, they donít realiseí thing and the Ďtake a deep breathí thing. So the seventh time the guy behind me on the bus kicks my seat heíll receive a death glare or an ill-tempered complaint and probably think Iím a bitch because of it: he didnít get a warning! Some people who know me well can pick up on the difference between expressionless-angry-looking and actual angry. Then again, a lot canít.
7. Do you have 'internal dialogues'? What does the internal voice say to you?
I have internal monologues, and Iím the one whoís speaking. I reason out things in my head. I explore ideas. It can be standard or random.
If Iím walking down the street and make some quick judgement about someone because of their shoes or whatever, Iíll correct myself, reason things out and tell myself they probably have a perfectly valid reason for wearing such unbelievably hideous shoes. Basically, if my thoughts can be expressed in words, then thatís my internal voice. I can offer myself up conflicting ideas and potential reasons for things, but itís still me, not someone else.
8. How would you respond to your parent who was behaving irresponsibly? (Alcoholism, drugs, dead-beat behavior,etc.)
It depends entirely how and to the degree that their irresponsibility is affecting me, or others. This is one of those Ďtoo vagueí questions.
9. If you were unable to actualize yourself, what steps would you take to gain satisfaction from your life? For example: Do you talk yourself into liking "second-best"? Do you go set a silo on fire? Do you start wearing eyeliner around your nostrils?
I can be a perfectionist, but if Iím really not making any progress I tend to just stop and be satisfied with what Iíve done. (Or I get bored with what Iím doing and find something else to do.) Itíll have to do, because itís not getting any better. Some people tend to aim for, and only for, the best option. And if they donít get there, then it really is catastrophic. I like to cover all my bases. If I do enough to prepare for any situation so that it doesnít completely suck, then I can improvise when I find out whatís happening, and make the best of that, that Iím able. I rarely regret decisions, because I know that Iíd do it the same way again, that it was the best option given all the information and how I felt at the time. So I rarely find myself in a position where Iím unsatisfied with everything.
I find that some people tend to linger on things more than I do. Iíve had times in my life, for months, where I was in a situation that sucked. I dealt with it by just getting on with it. It was what it was, I was in no position to change it. I accepted it, and kept going.
10. How long do you stay in a dead-end relationship? What prompts you to stay in it? What finally prompts you to leave?
I havenít really been in a relationship long enough for it to become a dead-end. But Iíve been put in similar situations with close friends. Usually I give people the benefit of the doubt, a few times more than they deserve, and then I just sort of... disappear. I avoid them. Iím not really into conflict for the sake of conflict. If someone else wants it, then bring it on. Otherwise I just try and avoid it, keep it polite, keep it impersonal. I leave when itís beyond no longer fun. When Iím getting way less out of it than Iím putting in. When thereís no hope, in my eyes, for salvaging it.
11. What sort of advanced mental pursuits do you find powerfully attractive or intriguing? Are you drawn to existentialism? Abstraction? Why?
What do you mean by Ďmental pursuitsí exactly? I like maths, mostly because I like solving the problems presented. Actually, yeah, problem solving. I like puzzles. It doesnít even have to be a real problem. Figuring out the best or most efficient way to do something, and then doing it. This is another question I find too vague.
12. How important is control? Self-control? Control over your person/environment? Control over your ultimate fate? Would you rather die on your terms than live on someone else's?
I can get a bit obsessive about being in control when it concerns me in a way that matters. People should be free to do as they wish (within reason). I get irritated when people but in on other peopleís rights and whatnot, as well as when they try to control me. I want to be able to do as I wish, so long as Iím not impacting on anyone elseís ability to do the same. Would I rather die on my own terms? Depends on how dire the situation is. I have gone out of my way to prove a point to people who were being selfish, etc. But Iím not being absolute about it. It depends on how constricting someone elseís terms are.
13. How important is justice? What happens to you mentally when you see unjust things occurring? How do you physically react?
I become angry. Physically, I donít know. I do get the urge to physically wipe the smile off some peopleís faces, so to speak, but I restrain that for obvious reasons. I guess thatís just a response to wanting to be able to fix things: to make them fair. The closest Iíve ever been to all out hate was when people were being unfair.
14. How important is stability? Is there such a thing as "too much" stability?
Stability is important Ė to a degree. If you donít have enough, then youíre always struggling with things, and not able to enjoy life. If you have too much, I guess thatís when things become boring and start to stagnate. Anywhere in the middle is good.
15. How do you feel -- first mentally, then physically -- when you make a strong bond with someone? How important is loyalty? What is your personal definition of loyalty and why would you give that loyalty to another person?
Mentally? Stimulated, I guess. Pumped. Same goes for physically, I think. Loyalty is extremely important on a person to person level, and itís kind of difficult for me to define clearly. Itís kind of a support thing. I help them out, am there for them, and want the same. It hurts when itís disregarded, not reciprocated or taken for granted.
16. What excites your contempt? When filled with irritation or contempt, how do you (or do you NOT) express it?
Injustice. Hypocrisy. People being unbelievably illogical. Selfishness. Stupidity. Double standards. People taking advantage of others. Self-absorbed people. People who can't even help themselves.
I usually seethe quietly because, mostly, speaking out doesnít achieve anything. Often the people causing it donít care or donít realise, and certainly most donít want to know.