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  1. #51
    Senior Member seamaid's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    My ISFJ best friend is married to an ISTP. She is sometimes talking to him (like telling a dream she had or something meaningful to her) and if he doesn't feel like listening or isn't interested, he will do something else or even leave the room. She was hurt and puzzled at first, but learned to accept him that way.
    I personally don't think it is something that can be accepted.
    If considering or understanding people's emotional needs isn't natural to you, it is still important to make an effort and be attentive.
    This doesn't excuse him, but might he have ADD/ADHD? My ISTP does, and seems like quite a few of them do. I agree with you, though, a healthy, intimate relationship is where both partners try to understand and give each other what they need, even if it's not easy. Just the effort can be enough.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by seamaid View Post
    This doesn't excuse him, but might he have ADD/ADHD? My ISTP does, and seems like quite a few of them do. I agree with you, though, a healthy, intimate relationship is where both partners try to understand and give each other what they need, even if it's not easy. Just the effort can be enough.
    I'm either really focused or kind of in my own head.

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    One thing that I've learned about ISTPs, even before knowing about MBTI or anything, is to never lay a bunch of emotional crap on them. I really just got that feeling from them and it turned out to be true. The only time I've been able to express my feelings to them without them feeling awkward was when I was brief, not expecting anything out of them and it was obvious that I was feeling kinda crappy at that moment.
    Have you looked into that five love languages stuff at all? It's probably at least a good place to start. Every individual just gives and receives love differently, though there are probably some general categories. I have not read the book(s) directly but I've talked with people who really like the framework presented in it. I suspect there could be some good suggestions in there...

  4. #54
    One day and the next Rainne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BlackCat View Post
    One thing that I've learned about ISTPs, even before knowing about MBTI or anything, is to never lay a bunch of emotional crap on them. I really just got that feeling from them and it turned out to be true. The only time I've been able to express my feelings to them without them feeling awkward was when I was brief, not expecting anything out of them and it was obvious that I was feeling kinda crappy at that moment.
    +1

    Also, if you're upset about something, don't bother telling us lol. We can already tell you're upset through your body language. If you want emotional comfort (ex: through words)...we're probably not your best bet. Physical comfort on the other hand (ex: a pat on the shoulder/back, a reassuring glance, leaning your head on our shoulder), we can certainly do.
    Weathergirl: District 38 is sunny. Slight rock showers this morning. Chance of rock showers into the afternoon—20 percent. District 39 is cloudy. Chance of rock showers this afternoon—10 percent.
    Edward: Bebop here here! Alright woo hoo!
    Weathergirl: Chance of rock showers today upgraded to 90 percent.
    Edward: Really.

  5. #55
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rainne View Post
    +1

    Also, if you're upset about something, don't bother telling us lol. We can already tell you're upset through your body language. If you want emotional comfort (ex: through words)...we're probably not your best bet. Physical comfort on the other hand (ex: a pat on the shoulder/back, a reassuring glance, leaning your head on our shoulder), we can certainly do.
    Yeah I can tell you guys are aware of my feelings through body language, but I tend to like to clear things up by just saying what the cause of it is.
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  6. #56
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    It's quite scary that I can relate to a lot of this thread being the total opposite of ISTP. Validating people can be quite exhausting ESPECIALLY if a person you hardly know unloads on you. It's like "that must suck but what do you want me to do about it."

  7. #57
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    why must you istp push all of my explosive buttons like a little kid on an elevator...WHY...no one else does this so efficiently...I don't usually get so mad that I feel my blood boil

  8. #58
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    why must you istp push all of my explosive buttons like a little kid on an elevator...WHY...no one else does this so efficiently...I don't usually get so mad that I feel my blood boil
    I closely work with an INFP at my workplace. Answer:

    Because you can never stay mad at us so we don't take it too seriously. Because you get so upset. Because it's entertaining.

    To be fair you INFP's do your own version of freaking us out.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  9. #59
    Senior Member Rebe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MDP2525 View Post
    I closely work with an INFP at my workplace. Answer:

    Because you can never stay mad at us so we don't take it too seriously. Because you get so upset. Because it's entertaining.

    To be fair you INFP's do your own version of freaking us out.
    Oh I am going to stay mad FOREVER!
    I know where to punch skillfully and neatly to inflict the most pain.

  10. #60
    Controlled Mischief StephMC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebe View Post
    I know where to punch skillfully and neatly to inflict the most pain.
    This sounds quite terrifying... especially with the hug at the end.
    I have an inner monologue that sounds strikingly similar to something off Animal Planet.

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