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  1. #21
    Senior Member toast's Avatar
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    I wish I were a T.
    ____________________________________________
    "In my soul rages a battle without victor. Between faith without proof and reason without charm." - Sully Prudhomme

  2. #22
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    lol. i hope you guys don't think being an emotional person is a bad thing. emotionally sensitive people have just as much value even if it's different than what value we have.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Indeed. An emotional ISTP is often an ISTP in crisis.
    I didn't mean being emotional or sappy. I loathe the idea of pretending to understand someone's feelings if I don't really know where they're coming from or being fake or pitying. I mean learning to be more tuned into their needs and providing for them in a sincere manner. Like Toast said in the other thread, it's our feelings of wanting to give service/gift refocused on their needs as they are. It's something I'd like to improve at. Tips would be appreciated if anyone knows any.

    Quote Originally Posted by foolish heart View Post
    I always seem to forget that this is something a lot of people need whether or not I relate to that need much.

  3. #23
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by foolish heart View Post
    lol. i hope you guys don't think being an emotional person is a bad thing. emotionally sensitive people have just as much value even if it's different than what value we have.
    Nope, not at all, it's just often a bad sign for an ISTP.

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...rior-itps.html

  4. #24
    A window to the soul
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    Lots of presumptions in this thread it seems.

    Quote Originally Posted by StephMC View Post
    Hehehehehe....

    Yes, that's pretty much what I hear in my mind. I think I've gotten slightly better at going into robot sensitive ISTP mode when I know it's a bad time to be blunt/humorous...
    Who doesn't have to go into "robot sensitive mode" from time to time? I have to make a deliberate effort to console someone when I don't fully appreciate why they're torn up about something. Somtimes I'm not in a 'serious', 'empathetic' mood. Especially, when someone is whining about something that I feel they brought on themselves. Often times, I'm feeling laid back and want to keep conversation light. Always, happy to help a friend in need though. I don't find it to be too much of a chore to listen and offer an appropriate response. For those not sure what an appropriate response is, then I think it's best to do some research on this subject; the art of friendship is worth studying up on if it doesn't come natural for you and it's important to you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Trinity View Post
    Indeed. An emotional ISTP is often an ISTP in crisis.
    ...perhaps 'often', but not always.

    Quote Originally Posted by seamaid View Post
    "oh... this is nothing." or

    "well, if you hike twice as fast, we'll get there in half the time!"

    Ugh! =)
    lol, that's funny. I haven't met a man yet that doesn't say stuff like that; regardless of type.

    Quote Originally Posted by jixmixfix View Post
    I think ESTP's might have a similar kind of problem too. Whenever I'm in doubt about girls though I would think what would an ESTP do?.
    ...lol.

    Quote Originally Posted by foolish heart View Post
    lol. i hope you guys don't think being an emotional person is a bad thing. emotionally sensitive people have just as much value even if it's different than what value we have.
    For the record, 'F' != "emotionally sensitive"
    (!=, does not equal)

    ...it can be quite the contrary; in fact, very much in-tune and able to handle emotions with grace and precision. (Not caught off gaurd by them.)

    Quote Originally Posted by foolish heart View Post
    I didn't mean being emotional or sappy. I loathe the idea of pretending to understand someone's feelings if I don't really know where they're coming from or being fake or pitying. I mean learning to be more tuned into their needs and providing for them in a sincere manner. Like Toast said in the other thread, it's our feelings of wanting to give service/gift refocused on their needs as they are. It's something I'd like to improve at. Tips would be appreciated if anyone knows any.
    I think you're being too hard on yourself. I haven't seen where ISTP's have any trouble in the area of expressing their feelings; any more than any other introvert that I know. I am not good at verbalizing my feelings; especially, early on in a relationship. I'm usually the last to say how I feel. Often times, I'm just going with the flow, naturally not talking about my feelings, and then I'm suddenly surprised when the other person starts acting insecure and asking me how I feel. Moments like those are uncomfortable to the point where I'll flee if I can. Time and experience has taught me to make it a point to speak up and leave loved ones with loving words. People cannot read my mind. Well, if they could they might blush. Anway, I keep my verbal expressions toned down to a minimum.

    Simple verbal expressions should be sufficient, but I suppose that depends on the person you're trying to relate to. I would say that if whatever you're doing isn't enough and the other person doesn't feel loved, then you're with the wrong person. I think it's something you'll just kind of 'know'.
    Last edited by A window to the soul; 07-25-2010 at 11:26 AM.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by perfectgirl View Post
    ...it can be quite the contrary; in fact, very much in-tune and able to handle emotions with grace and precision. (Not caught off gaurd by them.)
    That is what I mean by emotionally sensitive... able to sense and be aware of emotions in an above average manner.

  6. #26
    A window to the soul
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    Quote Originally Posted by foolish heart View Post
    That is what I mean by emotionally sensitive... able to sense and be aware of emotions in an above average manner.
    Honestly, I don't think there's anything wrong with you (after reading a lot of your posts). It's normal for both sides to let go of themselves a little, to 'give' (or meet the needs of the other person) in a relationship. Not all relationships are meant to be though. Chemistry on all levels is very important IMO. I think it makes trusting and understanding the other person very natural.

    What your thread describes as far as 'validating', or the term rather... that seems almost forced to me.

    When you have chemistry on multiple levels with someone, I believe expressions of emotions would be easily understood and accepted as they are, in the moment, without further explanation/validating. I sorta think this would apply all relationships.
    Last edited by A window to the soul; 07-25-2010 at 06:50 PM.

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by perfectgirl View Post
    Honestly, I don't think there's anything wrong with you after reading a lot of your posts. It's normal for both sides to let go of themselves a little, to 'give' (or meet the needs of the other person) in a relationship. Not all relationships are meant to be though. Chemistry on all levels is very important IMO.
    I appreciate that, but I know nothing is 'wrong' with me persay. Everyone has areas of weakness that they can try to improve on, if they want.

  8. #28
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by perfectgirl View Post
    Who doesn't have to go into "robot sensitive mode" from time to time?
    Yeah, it's not on cue for me either.

    I wouldn't say I'm unintentionally insensitive though, which ISTPs seem to find themselves being sometimes. That's probably the only real big difference.

    At worst, I'm quiet and won't say a whole lot to the person. I might go home later though and right before I pass out, might think of something they were complaining about, and feel bad for them. I might txt them goodnight/take care.. might bring it up another time. Just all depends.

  9. #29
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    I guess I've gone off on a tangent and I'm not fully understanding the whole validating feelings thing... (Validating feelings, there's not much to it, seems easy enough.)

    lol

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by perfectgirl View Post
    I guess I've gone off on a tangent and I'm not fully understanding the whole validating feelings thing... (Validating feelings, there's not much to it, seems easy enough.)

    lol
    I think you have the right idea, actually. It seems like some people (maybe extroverts?) need a certain amount and type of attention or it seems like they feel I am invalidating them. I am not certain why but I find that insecurities tend to come out around me, which I don't understand because I do my best not to be intimidating or aggressive towards these type of people. So I'm looking for proactive ways to validate others. This helps them relax then I feel better knowing they are comfortable with themselves, so it's more for me than for them, I think. Any thoughts?

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