my istp likes his freedom. he likes to go away to the shore with his friends and pursue his own hobbies. he always checks in with me and i'm not at all concerned about him being unfaithful. he appreciates that i give him the space that he needs, and i do really value and appreciate his loyalty towards me.
i am pretty accommodating and understand his need for freedom so i rarely complain about it. nevertheless, sometimes it makes me sad and i wonder why he does not want to see me all the time. i feel ridiculous for wanting that and for feeling "needy." it seems silly for him to have to accommodate my need for time as i do for him needing space. shouldn't you want to spend lots of time with the person you are dating?
i have plenty of hobbies and i am always on the go, so the issue is not really that i don't have a life outside of him. it just seems that he is so much more satisfied by doing things without me and i feel like i just do them so that i am not perceived as clingy and to keep our relationship healthy.
i wonder if i am supposed to be bothered that he does not want to spend as much time with me as i want to spend with him. am i supposed to care? is it an indication of a lack of interest in me? or is it really just that we are different in this way.
it is also hard because since he is not very verbal about how he actually feels about me, i am only going by his actions. i don't think he really misses me when he is not with me and he never acts excited to see me. he is reassuring that he is happy with me and is comfortable in our relationship... but i don't know. sometimes the enfp side of me just wants that crazy passionate i'd drive five hours in a hailstorm to see someone i love kind of relationship... because i guess to me, that's what love is in a way. he is so much more RELAXED about it... and everything... for that matter.
it's really not that HUGE of a deal, but it is a consistent theme.