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  1. #1
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    Default SP's and Cheating

    I was curious how other SP's handle cheating. Like when you cheat on your partners? and if so do you tell them? or is it just a dirty little secret? j/k

    I've always been honest in communicating with partners, when we're in a "committed or non-committed" relationship. I've also quickly ditched friends over the years who weren't successful in keeping their commitments.

    It was ok with me that whatever happened, or happens. So long as they were willing to face it and fess up to the partner they'd committed to. If it appeared to be a habit vs. an accident, those friends would still get the boot.
    Self-control, is just as important as integrity...in choosing friends.

    At least for me.

    What say you SPs? What's your own take and approach to the topic.

  2. #2
    not to be trusted miss fortune's Avatar
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    I'm always very upfront about things with my partners

    I had an ex who I caught with some chick all over him at a party and he informed me that we were broken up for the next 24 hours, so I took someone else home, assuming that his evening had continued the way it looked like it was going... my evening went well, and when I saw him for lunch the next day I informed him of what happened... he was beyond pissed off at me :rolli:

    he told me it would have been better if I'd lied, but I'd rather hear the truth, so I assumed that anyone else would rather hear the truth as well!

    When I walked IN on him cheating on me, after he'd insisted that there was nothing going on between the two of them it was over... I'd rather be cheated on honestly than lied to
    “Oh, we're always alright. You remember that. We happen to other people.” -Terry Pratchett

  3. #3
    Rainy Day Woman MDP2525's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I'm always very upfront about things with my partners

    I had an ex who I caught with some chick all over him at a party and he informed me that we were broken up for the next 24 hours, so I took someone else home, assuming that his evening had continued the way it looked like it was going... my evening went well, and when I saw him for lunch the next day I informed him of what happened... he was beyond pissed off at me :rolli:
    Served him right.

    I cheated once. It was a mistake. What I should have done was just end the relationship. Lesson learned.

    As far as being cheated on. It's happened. It's very easy for me to cut ties when that happens. I move on fast.

    As far as confessions go intent has a lot to do with things like this - If the cheating was a moment of weakness type thing then I'd rather not know my partner cheated on me because telling me would destroy the relationship and in the long run if they regretted it and vowed to themselves never to make that error again then what do I care?

    If it was a chronic cheating or more than one moment of weakness then yes. I'd like to know but those are the types that never confess anyway.
    ~luck favors the ready~


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  4. #4
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    i'm not looking for casual to begin with. and when things haven't gone well, i was able to acknowledge it before moving on. going seperate ways is sad enough, let alone cheating.

  5. #5
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    I have cheated once, but its not the textbook definition of what cheating is and according to a marriage counselor I was playing with the line and more playing with fire. It was just something that according to my wife crossed the line. It caused more of a security issue with my wife which extended into broken trust.

    I have had moments where I knew without a doubt that if I did cheat physically I could talk my way out of cheating and blame it on my SO, but I cant do that.

    I dont understand the whole cheating on friends thing. Friendships are very important, but I have never had to worry about cheating on friends, dropping friends, etc. We just drift apart and then back together at different times.
    Im out, its been fun

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by poki View Post
    I dont understand the whole cheating on friends thing. Friendships are very important, but I have never had to worry about cheating on friends, dropping friends, etc. We just drift apart and then back together at different times.
    hmm...you talking to me?

    Guess to be clear, the concept was "Friends cheating on their SO"

    I just prefer not to hang out with folks who do that.

  7. #7
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    me neither. i don't really have any clear examples of that though (that i know of), but still, i might still tell a friend to knock some shit off before it gets bad.

    it goes without mentioning that i even feel sorry for strangers too. i might go out, and a lot of married women are crazy. i don't make a habit of sleeping with anyone i just meet, but i might befriend some of these girls..they know how to get attention at least. and then i find they're married. and i feel like shit, and bad for whoever's married to her. ugh. it's happened even if with closer people, and i'm not sure what to do about that.

    i even know some sad dude who specifically asked me to sleep with his wife. haha. and i still won't. i dunno.. none of it sits well with me. talk about Fi ruling out Fe

  8. #8
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    have not cheated or (to my knowledge) been cheated on, and hopefully neither of those things will happen in the future.

    sadly, my best friend tends to cheat to end relationships (typically with the next person) because he doesn't like being single. He usually doesn't tell me until long afterwards because he knows I disapprove, but it's his life, I guess.
    -end of thread-

  9. #9
    Senior Member tinker683's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by whatever View Post
    I'm always very upfront about things with my partners

    I had an ex who I caught with some chick all over him at a party and he informed me that we were broken up for the next 24 hours, so I took someone else home, assuming that his evening had continued the way it looked like it was going... my evening went well, and when I saw him for lunch the next day I informed him of what happened... he was beyond pissed off at me :rolli:

    he told me it would have been better if I'd lied, but I'd rather hear the truth, so I assumed that anyone else would rather hear the truth as well!
    ARE YOU SERIOUS? Oh wow, that just blows my mind. It amazes me how some people can be like, "Uh hey...baby...I just found this really hot piece of tail that's in to me, so I'm going to have to treat you like some kind of anti-virus program and tell you that we're broken up for the next 24 hours and then after that our relationship is back on. Mmkay?"

    Unbe-freaking-lievable. I just can't wrap my head around the thought of how someone can be so up their own ass to even think of saying something like that.

    What's worse is that HE got upset when you did the EXACT SAME THING back to him! I swear, people can just be so stupid!!!
    "The man who is swimming against the stream knows the strength of it."
    ― Woodrow Wilson

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by sLiPpY View Post
    hmm...you talking to me?

    Guess to be clear, the concept was "Friends cheating on their SO"

    I just prefer not to hang out with folks who do that.
    I fought this internally with my brother forever when he cheated on his wife with his current wife. Not a big fan of cheating and its something I would have to work past as well. Would need to understand the whole context for that situation though before I could say if I could get past it or not.
    Im out, its been fun

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