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  1. #1
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Question SFPs, how do you help people who are depressed?

    I was curious to know how SFPs help people who are sad, going through depression or some kind of emotional turmoil.

    My sister-in-law is an ISFP and her tactic seems to be trying to help the person to lighten up by inviting her to do something fun and entertaining. My niece is also ISFP and she escapes into fun or entertainment when she feels pressured or stressed out.
    Can you relate?
    What are your ways of helping?

    My pastor's wife is ESFP and she has often told me she is not a compassionate person. I've seen her just getting annoyed at people who are down or whiny and gets mad or ignores them.

  2. #2
    Shaman BlackCat's Avatar
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    If it's someone I care about, then I usually try to understand the ins and outs of why they are depressed. Then I try to help them by talking about it. If I can't help them by talking about it, I just leave it be. Then I try to distract them like your sister in law does whether I can help them by talking about it or not.
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  3. #3
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Well when I was studying about depression and anxiety in psych, it seemed that the underlying theme for coping was that the person needs to be brought into the present moment. This comes natural to the SFP- I bet that we naturally can lift people out of depression just by being ourselves and doing fun things that bring people back to the moment.
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  4. #4
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Well when I was studying about depression and anxiety in psych, it seemed that the underlying theme for coping was that the person needs to be brought into the present moment. This comes natural to the SFP- I bet that we naturally can lift people out of depression just by being ourselves and doing fun things that bring people back to the moment.
    Well, whenever a SP is trying to make me lighten up by entertaining me, I feel sort of insulted. I need to talk and be consoled, it's like I have an infected, bleeding wound and you're giving me a band aid...
    I've had an ISFP saying to me: "it's not good to hold on to negative feelings, look, it's all in the past, stop feeling bad about it." But no effort was made to make things right or to mend the brokeness... Distracting people from the pain or telling them to put it in the past does not solve the problem in my opinion... Does it work for you?

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    Senior Member StrappingYoungLad's Avatar
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    I usually stay away from troubled people. But if I get a chance to talk to them, I try to comfort them by convincing them that their problems are not that crippling.

  6. #6
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    I was curious to know how SFPs help people who are sad, going through depression or some kind of emotional turmoil.

    My sister-in-law is an ISFP and her tactic seems to be trying to help the person to lighten up by inviting her to do something fun and entertaining.
    Yeah, that.
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  7. #7

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    Moving to the present moment feels like the right course of action. It feels mending in itself. By contrast, any sort of analysis feels self indulgent and seems only to exacerbate the problem.

    Typically an ISFP depression is from over analysis of some situation. At least that is my experience. Caught in a mental loop.

    If I am depressed myself, it is infinitely better to not try and analyse or work through problems. The best course of action is to give me time, it isn't really a distraction to get others to do things because your mind works through things in the background. A simple understanding of things and a seeking to make you feel better.

    So, I tend to do what I know with others too.

  8. #8
    Senior Member KDude's Avatar
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    Yeah... I try to help shift to the present moment as well. I've experienced depression myself enough though, and emphasize.. and will let anyone talk it out as long as they want. A friend's mother passed away about a year ago, and he still can't help from talking about it. I'm fine with listening. It doesn't bring me down or anything. I think some other friends are a little... I don't want to say annoyed, but don't like the gloominess and think of other ways to help him. It all adds up together, I suppose. Having a few friends with different (positive) approaches is best.

  9. #9
    full of love Kingfisher's Avatar
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    i usually get a good group of people together, and we all go out (with the depressed person) and hit the town. have a good time, raise hell. adventure and excitement.
    then when we are all winding down in the morning we can sit around together and talk.

    i also like wolfy's answer a lot.

  10. #10
    Senior Member Chunes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    Well, whenever a SP is trying to make me lighten up by entertaining me, I feel sort of insulted. I need to talk and be consoled, it's like I have an infected, bleeding wound and you're giving me a band aid...
    I've had an ISFP saying to me: "it's not good to hold on to negative feelings, look, it's all in the past, stop feeling bad about it." But no effort was made to make things right or to mend the brokeness... Distracting people from the pain or telling them to put it in the past does not solve the problem in my opinion...
    I relate to this.

    Yes, analysis can seem self-indulgent, but I always feel insulted when people think my problems can go away just from doing something 'fun.' I want someone to understand and empathize with, not to sweep my problems under a rug. I want help rewiring my mental processes so I can overcome the problem permanently, not a temporary distraction.
    "If you would convince a man that he does wrong, do right. But do not care to convince him. Men will believe what they see. Let them see."
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