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  1. #21
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    I've known ISFP's and ESFP's that are also not very compassionate. But I think this typically stems from being overly sensitive to their own emotions. It makes it hard for them to be there for others.

    My tactic changes from person to person. I think xSFP's are pretty empathetic and can easily adjust or adapt to the person they are trying to connect to and comfort. For some, I'll try and make them laugh. Other times, I just try to hold the person and lend a good ear. Sometimes, it's inviting a person over for some wine and backporch chit chatting, one on one. (This is great for girl talk and ranting.) But I've gotten many people to open up about their problems this way. (Of course, this might be a little weird with strangers.) I just try to assure people that I'm nonjudgmental, and that I'm a trustworthy and compassionate person, that way they'll feel free to open up about whatever is on their mind.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  2. #22
    Senior Member IndyGhost's Avatar
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    Oh, sometimes I offer gifts to people who are depressed. I do this to help remind the person that they are thought about and cared about. Sometimes it's drawings, origami, bracelets... Sometimes it's food. Sometimes it's weird little knick knacks I come across that'll remind me of the person.
    "I don't know a perfect person.
    I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."
    -John Green

  3. #23
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    Yes I think if it is something that can be solved, try to help figure out how to solve it (although I'm often not so great at that), if not, help the person get away from it for awhile. Also, make a little card with a goofy drawing on the front or something like that. Or just little things to show that I care for them as a person. (Edit: just saw IndyAnnaJoan's post... how did I miss it before??? but yes, little doo-dads and doodles and stuff. p.s. HELLO THERE amiga!)

    Quote Originally Posted by wolfy View Post
    Moving to the present moment feels like the right course of action. It feels mending in itself. By contrast, any sort of analysis feels self indulgent and seems only to exacerbate the problem.

    Typically an ISFP depression is from over analysis of some situation. At least that is my experience. Caught in a mental loop.

    If I am depressed myself, it is infinitely better to not try and analyse or work through problems. The best course of action is to give me time, it isn't really a distraction to get others to do things because your mind works through things in the background. A simple understanding of things and a seeking to make you feel better.

    So, I tend to do what I know with others too.
    Yeah I think this, and what shortnsweet and stepho said all seem to be true in what I've observed. When I'm in a funk I want friends to help me snap out of it or at least get away from the situation for a time... do fun things, laugh a little, etc. Usually the only time I want to talk things over is if I want perspective or advice on the solution to a particular tangible problem or something (preferably given with kindness, of course).

    Quote Originally Posted by ubee0173 View Post
    the honest to god best temporary relief for depression is to do a headstand. im serious, there is some study thing i read a while back that talks about bloodflow, blah, blah (how typical is it that i only gleaned 'headstands are fun' from that article ).and besides, who can be sad when you look that silly? or you can punch them in the arm- it will momentarily distract them from their problems at least...
    I think I want to try that some time.
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  4. #24
    Junior Member craigensa's Avatar
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    When I spent 2-3 months or so in a deep depression early this year, I think most people just didn't believe me and thought I was being stupid. I had my reasons to be upset, but one person even made it clear to me that she 'couldn't deal with me right now', even though she had no parental problems or anything herself. A couple of people were really nice to me and bought me coffee and chatted to me for long periods in the pub and stuff. But on the whole either people didn't notice or they thought I was being over-dramatic. Which I wasn't...and am never.
    "Music washes away from the soul the dust of everyday life." Berthold Auerbach

  5. #25
    Member awwsha's Avatar
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    Depression is something I understand pretty well, not because I have experienced it very much myself, but because my father has struggled with it for years, depressions is such a complex and difficult thing. Because people that suffer from it don't even KNOW why they feel that way.

    As mentioned before..I tend to adjust to the person.

    With my dad I just always did things that I thought would cheer him up. Or I would try to be goofy and distracting. But there is a lot of people that I go out to coffee with and chit chat or let them tell me whats on their mind. When it is someone that is really angry I let them rant and agree when appropriate.

    Overall I guess I just love people, no matter what kind of mood they are in. I just like the social interaction.
    "The best things in life are silly" - Scott Adams


  6. #26
    Diabolical Kasper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    tactic seems to be trying to help the person to lighten up by inviting her to do something fun and entertaining.
    Dang, that's one of the things that I adore about ISFPs, fun and entertaining always peps me up! Bugger to hear it can cause you to feel insulted =/

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