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  1. #11

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    A lot of it depends on how you take terms and that depends on your life experience. I haven't had a lot of experience with serious depression, clinical depression. I had a friend that was suicidal and tried a few times but that was a long time ago and I was pretty young. My response was basically to do a quick patch job and keep on going. He is still alive and credits me for some of that so I guess that works, at least some of the time.

    When I use the phrase 'in the moment' I don't think of 'no thought for the future'. To me it simply means being present as opposed to being in your head.

    With the more casual use of the word depressed, I think that SP can tend to be solution oriented. Maybe overly so, but that depends on your view. It can be frustrating to be presented with a unsolvable problem. And I think that maybe that is at the root of some people who get annoyed. They feel hamstrung.

    I suppose that like most things, people are good for some things and not for others. So you really need to clarify what you want and if the person can't give you that find someone who can.

  2. #12
    Aspiring Troens Ridder KLessard's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chunes View Post
    I relate to this.

    Yes, analysis can seem self-indulgent, but I always feel insulted when people think my problems can go away just from doing something 'fun.' I want someone to understand and empathize with, not to sweep my problems under a rug. I want help rewiring my mental processes so I can overcome the problem permanently, not a temporary distraction.
    Yes.

  3. #13

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kingfisher View Post
    i usually get a good group of people together, and we all go out (with the depressed person) and hit the town. have a good time, raise hell. adventure and excitement.
    then when we are all winding down in the morning we can sit around together and talk.
    I think this, stripped down to the principle behind it, is the best approach. Breaking the pattern and initiating dialogue. And it can be expansive like this example or something small like a joke and a talk.

  4. #14
    Senior Member King sns's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KLessard View Post
    Well, whenever a SP is trying to make me lighten up by entertaining me, I feel sort of insulted. I need to talk and be consoled, it's like I have an infected, bleeding wound and you're giving me a band aid...
    I've had an ISFP saying to me: "it's not good to hold on to negative feelings, look, it's all in the past, stop feeling bad about it." But no effort was made to make things right or to mend the brokeness... Distracting people from the pain or telling them to put it in the past does not solve the problem in my opinion... Does it work for you?
    Yes- with emotional problems like a death or a break up. You can't fix that kind of pain by doing anything else, and you definitely can't fix that kind of pain by wallowing in it. I actually find the key to relieving acute emotional distress by just getting away from it until I'm in a better frame of mind to actually "solve" it or think about it. I wonder if other SP's feel this way as well.

    Come to think of it, when I'm hurting the most, I tend to gravitate towards (surprise!) other SP's. I wonder if that's why we try to drag everyone out of their house when they are sad- because that is what we want for ourselves.

    If it's a different problem to do with bills, money, job, needing food, or school, or anything else, than it only helps to try to fix the problem myself. But I don't consider those emotional problems.
    Last edited by King sns; 06-20-2010 at 04:54 AM.
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  5. #15
    Senior Member angelhair45's Avatar
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    When I'm really depressed I feel like there is nothing I can do to bring myself out. I don't want to wallow, it just seems the ONLY option.

    I agree, being brought into the present moment is probably the best thing. It might not "fix" it right away, but it's healthier than dwelling in depression. It is much easier for my ESTP husband than for myself though.

  6. #16
    full of love Kingfisher's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by shortnsweet View Post
    Yes- with emotional problems like a death or a break up. You can't fix that kind of pain by doing anything else, and you definitely can't fix that kind of pain by wallowing in it. I actually find the key to relieving acute emotional distress by just getting away from it until I'm in a better frame of mind to actually "solve" it or think about it. I wonder if other SP's feel this way as well. (For me.)

    Come to think of it, when I'm hurting the most, I tend to gravitate towards (surprise!) other SP's. I wonder if that's why we try to drag everyone out of their house when they are sad- because that is what we want for ourselves.

    If it's a different problem to do with bills, money, job, needing food, or school, or anything else, than it only helps to try to fix the problem myself. But I don't consider those emotional problems.
    i think you have it exactly right!
    it is good for a person to get some time and distance from emotional problems. i think when you try to deal with them immediately it is too soon - they are still too raw and too fresh in you. so giving yourself some time away cools your head and gives you a whole new and clearer perspective.

  7. #17
    Twerking & Lurking ayoitsStepho's Avatar
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    I agree with all the SFP's.

    I know, for myself, when I just sit and think and let myself get engulfed in the emotional problem at hand, I'm left more and more depressed and overwhelmed. I need to get away from what's causing that problem or to set those problems aside long enough for me to have a better mind set to deal with it. Pretty much exactly what shortnsweet said.
    Quote Originally Posted by MacGuffin View Post
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  8. #18
    Senior Member You's Avatar
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    They have sex with them.
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  9. #19
    it's tea time! Walking Tourist's Avatar
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    Depressed people sometimes respond well to an offer of delicious chocolate! oh, and tea. Also a hug. A little attention goes a long way to lift the mood of a sad person.
    I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle and here is my spout. Every time I steam up, I give a shout. Just tip me over and pour me out.

  10. #20
    Senior Member ubee0173's Avatar
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    the honest to god best temporary relief for depression is to do a headstand. im serious, there is some study thing i read a while back that talks about bloodflow, blah, blah (how typical is it that i only gleaned 'headstands are fun' from that article ).and besides, who can be sad when you look that silly? or you can punch them in the arm- it will momentarily distract them from their problems at least...
    I will buy you a drink and I'll tell you what I think, and tomorrow, in the morning, I won't be sorry that I didn't sleep.


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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