[ESFP] ESFP mom

[Lawren]

My best friend Dillon is an INTJ who lives with an ESFP mom.

Bad Combo.
As we often refer to Myers and Briggs to settle our disagreements with others, he wants to know how to help better his relationship with this type, and with his mother in general.

He's a.... shall we say very demeaning of ES Types especially, and obviously needs to learn to appreciate them. Communication is their big hang-up. He wants her to treat him fairly, and to be consistent, but doesn't have one nice thing to say to her, and that hurts her feelings. Oui.

Also, he's pretty trigger happy to assume anyone who is annoying is an ESFP or some sort of ESXX... I'm pretty sure there aren't that many ESFP's in the world. I'm just saying... So what other types does he NOT get along with?

One boy he was sure was an ESFP, turned out to be an INFP, and Dillon couldn't fathom him being an N, and still believes him an ESFP... ? The boy (Edward) just is kinda 'attachable' to us and can be unnaturally loud when he's comfortable. So... yeah, please if you have advice or experience to give, please do so.

-Lawren

 

[runvardh]

I'm an INFP with an ESFP mother and I learned to just lower my expectations. That said - so the crazies on this board don't get their panties in a knot - I don't have any problems dealing with a good friend of mine who is also ESFP as long as the fun is still going.

 

[Walking Tourist]

I am curious as to what sort of personality conflicts an INFP would have with an ESFP. Also what would an INFP have in common with an ESFP?

I'm an INFP with an ESFP mother and I learned to just lower my expectations. That said - so the crazies on this board don't get their panties in a knot - I don't have any problems dealing with a good friend of mine who is also ESFP as long as the fun is still going.

 

[Sunny Ghost]

it's weird... somehow the only two INTJ's that i know of have a horrible relationship with their mother as well. i'm not sure of their mother's type, but they both have had a hatred towards most women that have only began to subside in their early twenties as they finally began meeting more intelligent and/or very nurturing women. they still speak ill of their mothers though.

that wasn't helpful was it.

 

[miss fortune]

personally, I think that you're friend's got issues that he needs to address, but he's spun himself a happy little caccoon of close mindedness and is very unlikely to realize that he has problems even if they're pointed out... Sensors aren't dumb... well, there are dumb sensors just the same as there are dumb intuitives... Sensing doesn't equal idiot though, just as Intuitive doesn't equal smart (obviously )

I have an INTJ friend who has an ESFP mom and he adores his mother... she's loving, supportive and positive, qualities that he really appreciates even though he doesn't really have them himself... so it's not a necessity that INTJs hate ESFPs

 

[runvardh]

I am curious as to what sort of personality conflicts an INFP would have with an ESFP. Also what would an INFP have in common with an ESFP?

I can't trust my mother to not take advantage of me. That and her care for herself has only been hurting me since I was little. The thing is, she asks me what happened to her happy little boy and doesn't understand what she's done when I say it. She's not stupid, not by a long shot, but I'm tired of telling her to stop something and only getting the deer in headlights look from her.

My friend has been so controlled growing up that he ended up only being able to act out in video games and the things he would watch at friends places. This resulted in a gamer who you can always trust to hear all the details about what makes a game or anime "so freaking awesome". He's also into writing game mods and is in the middle of setting up a big one for a game I forget the name of. The thing is, give him all kinds of people to hang around with and guaranteed he'll be the loudest.

 

[seamaid]

I am curious as to what sort of personality conflicts an INFP would have with an ESFP. Also what would an INFP have in common with an ESFP?

I don't know a lot of esfps in person to answer this question with confidence, but I think of the esfps I know as laidback and very affable, always willing to approach first (and with a smile). They're often very fun, nice people.

I don't know any that don't have some kind of secretly huge issue, but they try hard to cover this up with humor. This sometimes comes off to me as ungenuine.

One in particular tries too hard to impress to make up for something. Her constant fishing for compliments drives me up the wall. She can get her feelings easily hurt if you're not praising her for how amazing and unique she is. I don't know... maybe she's an enfp, but she seems to lead with Se more than Ne, yet makes it constantly known that she thinks there should be more love & world peace. She is a lot of talk, have yet to really see the walk.

I like another esfp a whole lot more -- she's very chill and awesome. I feel I could totally trust her because she's not competitive or out to prove something to everyone. She's one of those people that you can hear laughing from across the room. She laughs at everything.

In common? Hmm... the interest in people. They can engage us on ethical issues. They resist being controlled and put in boxes (like infps). I appreciate how open (to an extent) they are.

 

[Lawren]

I can't trust my mother to not take advantage of me. That and her care for herself has only been hurting me since I was little. The thing is, she asks me what happened to her happy little boy and doesn't understand what she's done when I say it. She's not stupid, not by a long shot, but I'm tired of telling her to stop something and only getting the deer in headlights look from her.

My friend has been so controlled growing up that he ended up only being able to act out in video games and the things he would watch at friends places. This resulted in a gamer who you can always trust to hear all the details about what makes a game or anime "so freaking awesome". He's also into writing game mods and is in the middle of setting up a big one for a game I forget the name of. The thing is, give him all kinds of people to hang around with and guaranteed he'll be the loudest.

Omigoodness that sounds like him a lot. I'll be the first to admit that my friend has a problem one that he himself won't admit too, but especially the gaming thing. He's a WoW addict and during one of our phone conversations he mentioned that he always does that to 'escape his anger'.